Madonna, Clay Aiken in Top 50 Worst Songs Ever

Our friends at Blender Magazine have published a terrific list of the "Worst 50 Songs Ever." (A quick hat tip to them for not writing Worst. 50. Songs. Ever.) Big names like Madonna and Clay Aiken we're right near the top.

Clay's "invisible" comes in at #11. Blender says:

"It's not just the schmaltzy play for loser pity ("If I was invisible - wait, I already am"). It's not just the ridiculously purple lyrics. And it's not just the thought of Aiken's eternally asymmetrical porcupine 'do quivering as he soars into a high note. It's the whole hey-girl-I-want-to-watch-you-while-you-think-you're-alone-in-your-bedroom thing that transforms this song from a merely mediocre ballad to a disturbing voyeur fantasy, filling your head with images of Aiken downloading porn and thinking bad things about that girl from homeroom. What lurks in the hearts of lonely geeks? Clay Aiken knows, and it's not pretty." 



Madonna didn't escape Blender's wrath either. "American Life" is at #10: 

"On which Madonna updates the "Material Girl"–era satire of commercialism and spiritual emptiness - but this time, she does it with what is hands-down the most embarrassing rap ever recorded. Nervous and choppy, she makes Debbie Harry sound as smooth as Jay-Z. The only thing worse than shouting "soy latte"? Rhyming it with "double shot-ay." The rhymes don't kick in for a full three minutes, but the song - propelled by a constipated digital beat and some bungled musings on celebrity culture - stinks the whole way through. "

Hey, Beavis they said "constipated"  - Uh huh huh huh.  Notably, Limp Bizkit comes in at #4, with "Rollin'" - my question is how did the rest of the Bizkit catalog escape the list?

Reader Comments

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31. Your list doesn't mean anything! These are your choices. Your comments about Clay Aiken were totally out of line. You went from commenting about his song "Invisible" to making insuating remarks. Shame on you!

Posted at 11:12AM on Jun 22nd 2006 by Carol Yow

32. Clay Aiken is amazing. I actually like Invisible. True Clay did not write that song so i mean it is nothing against him. I have been to concerts of his and listened to him alot. I love him :)

Posted at 11:36AM on Jun 22nd 2006 by Lauren

33. I suppose that dirty gutter talk is considered appropriate today but as a man/ woman thinketh so is he. The fact is....Clay Akin needs no defense. He has shown he can sing anything. He didn't write the song, but he sure did sing it. He honored those he was under contract to and did not have too much say about his first CD. But whatever you want to read into any lyric you can make it good or evil. Why not go after the really bad songs.....Because you know no one would pay attention......As for Clay's Character he is the measure of a man.

Posted at 11:42AM on Jun 22nd 2006 by Shirley Lane

34. I don't know who wrote this crap, but they should get their facts right.
And to "say" about Clay "filling you head with images of Clay Aiken downloading porn" is pure GARBAGE. You should be ashamed of yourself. Clay has never done anything to harm anyone in anyway. I beleive people who make up these stories about Clay and purely jealous of his fame.
I was listening to some music my 15 year old son had downloaded on to his ipod. I couldn't believe the trash and words from a group or person. Every thing was f- this and others I won't even repeat.
And you're worried about Clay ?? Clay is an angel in my books

Posted at 11:42AM on Jun 22nd 2006 by rascie

35. You know, the true beauty of a "Worst Songs Ever" type list is that you only have to write it once and then rehash the same story every year with only slight variation. This is great for hack writers and idiot reviewers who don't know the difference between “we're” and “were.” Funny you focused on numbers 10 and 11 rather than numbers 1 and 2, but then again you knew that having Madonna and Clay in your title would get you hits. Thanks for saving me the trouble of reading this same story again next year, because I won’t fall for it again.

Posted at 12:07PM on Jun 22nd 2006 by Jeanie

36. I'm sure Man-donna would be #1 in a list of Most Photoshopped, Most Pathologically In Need Of Attention, and Most Likely To Plagiarize Songs And/Or Photos.
I doubt any journalist just uses her name for attention, but if they did, cool. She's been the Mother of all Users her entire life. Her American Life in which she dresses like a Latin communist and drives a British Sooper Dooper Mini Cooper. I'm surprised she didn't rhyme it with Pooper Scooper.
Her fans are #1 in a list of People Not In Touch With Reality.

Posted at 3:59PM on Jun 22nd 2006 by Schatzi Summers

37. Madonna should have more than one song on this list. If she wasn't such a publicity machine she probably would have gone the way of Vanilla ice, nowhere. Being "shocking" is her way to get free publicity which she mastered to the discredit of humankind. Lets face it you don't have to sing to be a star anymore, Ashley Simpson, Jennifer Lopez etc, you must fit the image mold. Whats worse is her flouncing about onstage like shes still 21 years old. It's embarrassing to see... kinda like seeing grandma drunk and reenacting her high school prom or watching what ever happened to baby Jane. Sean Connery was once a hunk but that does not mean I would care to see him dancing in a speedo now.

Posted at 4:05PM on Jun 22nd 2006 by Amber

38. Hilarious!!!! I know of not one other listing of songs that would start with #11!!

Everyone is exactly right. You KNEW Clay's name would make the nation sit up and take notice. No matter how you try, you will never keep him down. We out here who have seen him in concert and followed his career from the start, KNOW he is the real thing. What a fantastic voice for a really wonderful, caring guy.

That song was very catchy, and had NOTHING to do with actually watching the girl in her bedroom. Had everything to do with wishing he could get the girl, but knowing she was not looking back at him. Can't imagine his thinking that, but there you have it.

Rap songs almost ALWAYS are nothing but spoken lines of filth and complaining, but, perhaps, you too didn't count them as music, so they wouldn't be considered worst songs.

I can think of many horrible music through the ages, and for you to pick on Clay, and even Madonna, speaks volumes. You wanted attention.

Posted at 4:16PM on Jun 22nd 2006 by Susan

39. Is it just me, or do most of the objections here involve a comparison to rap lyrics? Get over yourselves, people.

Posted at 5:16PM on Jun 22nd 2006 by Dave

40. For all those who claim we put Clay and Madonna in the title just to get your attention....duh!

Posted at 5:27PM on Jun 22nd 2006 by Jeff Davidson

41. I THINK CLAY AIKEN'S 'INVISIBLE' SHOULD NOT BE ON YOUR LIST. HE HAS A STRONG AND EXCITING VOICE. I DISLIKE ANYONE THAT CRITICIZES CLAY AIKEN.

Posted at 7:40PM on Jun 22nd 2006 by GLENNA MOORE

42. quick reminder to everyone that it's Blender's list. :)

Posted at 7:43PM on Jun 22nd 2006 by Jeff Davidson

43. To the folks who posted comments # 36 and 37, FORGET YOU! Madonna is still doing her thing, and doing it well. I am ten years younger than she is, and I KNOW she can out run and out dance me any day of the week. Yes, I need to start training. Give the lady some credit will you? She is raising kids and has to nourish a marriage. Having it all, I think that would be Madonna.
Post #42, Thanks Jeff for the reminder!

Posted at 11:46PM on Jun 22nd 2006 by Laurie

44. Ok last time i checked "Blender" had about as much class as Ron Artest and Dennis Rodman combined !! so to find Clay Aiken Near the top of this list is not suprising to me. The Main Stream Media has Hated Aiken since he first arrived on American Idol. But it is obvious "Blender" has there eyes on anyone who can talk fast and wear a chain down to there ankles. And any woman who can take off her shirt. Sounds like a magazine i would want kids looking at. I guess they have replaced talent, with cars,platinum,and funny looking shining teeth. Clay Aiken has a marvelous voice,work ethic, and morals. And God will continue to Bless HIM !!!

Posted at 12:14AM on Jun 23rd 2006 by Ben

45. Not one of my Favorite Clay Aiken songs but its not as bad as you make it out to be. He does sing it well that is why it is a record breaking song and video. The video was retired into the TRL vault, bet you didnt know that one. Thanks for the press. Cant wait for his next album. I will be first in line for it.

Posted at 8:18AM on Jun 23rd 2006 by Muggy

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