Disney's "Pirates 2": Yo-Ho-Hum

Oren AvivFor the second time this year, I've felt a bit duped after leaving a blockbuster. I suppose I have no one to blame but myself for walking the plank: I totally bought into the hype around Disney's "Pirates of the Caribbean," a film that was "tracking as big as anything in history" per Nikki Finke's "Deadline Hollywood Daily" column.

And with good reason: After the unqualified success of the first film, you, me, and everyone else I knew was hot to see it. Disney spent $140 million on the first film, and managed more than $650 million worldwide with it. Having admitted to spending $225 million on this one (which in English likely means you can add $25 million to that figure) one's timbers shivered to think what awaited us in theaters this time.

Unfortunately: A sea dog.

Don't get me wrong: From a box office perspective, "Pirates" is an unqualified hit. But I suspect that "Pirates of the Caribbean 3" will wind up more akin to "Matrix: Revolutions" than "Titanic."

Per the Hollywood Reporter: "'Dead Man's Chest' ...continues to exceed expectations. The Jerry Bruckheimer-produced/Gore Verbinski-directed film has now earned $258.2 million, setting a record as the highest 10-day grosser. The record tops 'Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith's' 10-day number of an estimated $236.9 million, set last year."

Having spent the entire two and a half hours of "Pirates 2" yawning, with my micro-naps interrupted by a thunderous score, I wonder what the drop-off will be next weekend. And in particular the week after that, when all those who couldn't get into a screening during opening weekend finally do see the film, and leave deafened and bored out of their skulls and cross bones.

More than anything, though, I marvel at the skill of Oren Aviv, the Disney marketing chief whose promotion is detailed so carefully in today's New York Times.

Aviv's elevation comes, as the Times' Laura Holson points out, "despite a major reorganization of its live-action movie division, which will alter the way Disney movies are made and marketed" - and a time when Disney has slid from first place in box office (in 2003) to fifth.

Again, don't misunderstand me: Aviv's promotion is richly deserved, for no doubt he is the architect of Disney's decision to emphasize only certain parts of its marketing data to the industry press - i.e. Nikki Finke report of tracking "as big as any film in history." That is, the studio was careful to let it be known that everyone wanted to see a sequel, but equally scrupulous in not emphasizing that everyone who'd screened said sequel was in love with it. (Because, let's be honest, they weren't. At least, no one in the theater I was in was laughing.)

Meanwhile, though, Aviv has an even tougher boat to row: People can always be whipped up into a foamy frenzy to see the sequel to a great movie. It's considerably harder to excite them into parting with $10 bucks to see the sequel to a snore.

Reader Comments

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1. THUMBS DOWN. TOOOOOO WEIRD

Posted at 6:53PM on Jul 17th 2006 by angel hunt

2. Was taken to "Pirates of the Caribbean Pt 2" by my family, and wished all through it I was home watching reruns. What a bow-wow! A crashing bore - no ascertainable plot. I was so disappointed in the "fabulous" Johnny Depp character, of which we saw almost nothing for more than a few seconds. The secondaries - KK and Orlando Bloom - looked bored, too, when not chewing the curtains. Too many grotesque creatures - enough is enough! And way too long. The little girl, about 8, I guess, behind me kept asking, "Daddy, is it almost over?" and Dad kept saying, "No, it still has a lot more to go." If I'd had my own car there I'd have been gone in a flash. I also yawned excessively and almost dropped off to sleep several times but the theater seat was very uncomfortable. You Have Been Warned!

Posted at 7:06PM on Jul 17th 2006 by Ruth Rossin

3. I thought that Pirates of the Carribean Dead Man's Chest was a wonderful movie. My son was glued to his seat, so excited to be there. Captian Jack didn't let me down and judging my the reaction of the audience everyone loved it! I'm looking forward to number 3.

Posted at 7:12PM on Jul 17th 2006 by Brenda Sites

4. i really enjoyed Pirates Of the Carribean Dead Mans Chest it was a great movie. BIG THUMBS UP TO THIS!! i am wondering if there will be a third one.if so.
Will Johnny Depp (Jack Sparrow) come back?
he's my favorite actor and i got terribly sad because he dies so i was wondering if he would come back if there's a third one

Posted at 7:18PM on Jul 17th 2006 by janil beckenson

5. I thought this movie was great, both my kids loved it. Everyone did a great job, especially Johnny Depp. I think why everyone is so fascinated with Jack Sparrow is Depps performance is so great, the audience forgets who is acting the part, and the character takes on a life of it's own. When will critics learn that we don't care what they say. Remember how the critics hated It's A Wonderful Live and it has become a treasured holdiay movie.

Posted at 7:25PM on Jul 17th 2006 by PJ

6. You critics are so smug arrogant and outdated. You wouldn't know what was a smash it for the public even if you got knocked out by it. You "yawned" through it...Oh please. I see how it is. You critics all love weird sad depressing movies like brokeback moutain, and some other crap like that (and you wonder why the oscars are losing their ratings). Comedies like these are just as important , if not importand than some stupid movie that supposedly is so signifigant. Have you not heard the expression that "laughter is the best medicine" ?Or have you become so cynical that you dont even know what something funny actually is. If there actually was a critic that actually knew what he/she was saying then people would actually would care. Just yesterday I heard a couple that was saying that some critic scored a movie 2 stars and it was good and named another 3 that wasn't good. So you critics opinions don't even really matter. I can't stand critics like you with your big annoying words. I don't even see a need for people like you. Nobody actually listens to a word you guys say. In case you haven't noticed the difference between your opinions and the box office. numbers A movie is sometimes needed as an escape. It is intended to be a feast of enjoyment for the eyes. I really wish when you do criticize something you be less smug about it and actually say which audience this film is intended for. For example I don't really like the fast and the furious movies but if I were in your position I would say that this movie is made for teens and they would most likely enjoy it. You see then someone will actually give you critics some credit for yout opinions. This article is the worst work of criticism I ever read. Where did you get your degree from?....honestly.

Posted at 7:26PM on Jul 17th 2006 by Mel

7. Yea, i was a bit suprised to finally find an ending to a movie that wasnt 100% predictable in comparison to other movies.

Posted at 7:27PM on Jul 17th 2006 by Joe Blo

8. I agree with Brenda...although I didn't like how Elizabeth likes Jack Sparrow, the movie itself was really good. unlike superman and other movies, it made you want to see the next movie. I'm really looking forward to it. I didn't think the time watching the movie was a waste.

Posted at 7:28PM on Jul 17th 2006 by DK

9. As an avid fan of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride as well as the first film, The Curse of the Black Pearl, I flew to California to attend the opening weekend of Dead Man's Chest.

The audiences at the Downtown Disney AMC and at the El Capitan Theater in Hollywood were laughing, standing in their seats cheering, and at certain points, some fans were quietly weeping. It was one of the most engaging film openings I've ever attended.

I hope you'll join us next year at the El Capitan for POTC3. Seeing the film from a fans point of view might change your mind.

Wishing you warm winds and smooth sailing,

Bootstrap Beck

Posted at 7:28PM on Jul 17th 2006 by Rebecca Russell

10. i thought it was a great movie. the ending was very very surprising, but it was awesome. i cant wait untill the 3rd one! i hope they even make a 4th one!

Posted at 7:30PM on Jul 17th 2006 by Katie P

11. As an avid fan of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride as well as the first film, The Curse of the Black Pearl, I flew to California to attend the opening weekend of Dead Man's Chest.

The audiences at the Downtown Disney AMC and at the El Capitan Theater in Hollywood were laughing, standing in their seats cheering, and at certain points, some fans were quietly weeping. It was one of the most engaging film openings I've ever attended.

I hope you'll join us next year at the El Capitan for POTC3. Seeing the film from a fans point of view might change your mind.

Wishing you warm winds and smooth sailing,

Bootstrap Beck

Posted at 7:30PM on Jul 17th 2006 by Rebecca Russell

12. the movie was boring and wierd

Posted at 8:00PM on Jul 17th 2006 by sumias sweetback

13. I loved the movie and can't wait for the 3rd one. It kept me glued to my seat and it didn't seem like 2 1/2 hours.

Posted at 11:26PM on Jul 17th 2006 by Susan

14. It's true. Most critics love real 'bore-fests'. Take last year's Oscar nominees. I saw most of them. Crash was a snore, where all the characters fit in to stereotypes. Walk The Line was a true snooze fest, wishing I could leave the theater half-way. Sure he's a legend, but jeez. Most of the nominees weren't even heard of until after the Oscars. The only two movies i've EVER liked from the Oscars, were 'The Chorus', and 'The Triplets Of Belleville'. Both were French. It sure tells alot about the U.S.'s movies, doesn't it?

Grow up. A great movie doesn't always have to make you think too long.

Posted at 4:27PM on Jul 20th 2006 by Marquis