Paris to TMZ Users -- You've Hurt Me Bad

4621. This is my concept for a new Paris Hilton reality show. This would have the entire nation watching weekly.


Paris is cutoff from her family wealth, for good. Not just for the new show, but for the rest of her life. The producers of the show find her a small studio apartment with a monthly rental rate of $1,200.00, a few skirts, jeans, tops, shoes, no funiture.

Her mission is to:

a. Find a job so she can pay the rent, food, and utilities.

b. Since she does not have a car, once she finds a job, she has to figure out how she's going to save enough for the downpayment on a used piece of sh*t car, and then pay for the gas registration, insurance, and repairs.

c. Since the apartment is not furnished, she will also need to find a second job at night, so she can buy second hand furniture at thrift shops.


d. If she wants to maintain the color of her hair, she'll have to save her nickles & dimes in a jar, and then go to CVS and buy her color in a box. Then we would get to see her with tweety bird head in her stained kitchen sink.

Now, tell me, don't you agree that this would be the most watched show in TV history?


Oh, the title of the show?


"Ms Hilton, Welcome To The Real World!"

Posted at 12:28AM on Sep 24th 2006 by Steve

4622. Her recording career is now officially over. It was a complete failure! OMG what a surprise. You mean her illiterate fans weren't in the millions after all and willing to buy her CD? She can now go back to doing what she does best, stealing other people's boyfriends and showing the paparazzi her cooch. And fancying herself as a movie star/icon! You go girl!

Paris Hilton: No More Singing

Well, it was a fun idea while it lasted. But Paris Hilton%u2019s debut album has sold a paltry 120,000 copies. It%u2019s already pretty much off the charts, too.

With new releases from Beyonce, Justin Timberlake, Janet Jackson and other big actual recording stars, Paris%u2019 foray into the music business is about to become a Trivial Pursuit question.

However, the melody lingers on like bad fish. The costs on Paris are said to be ridiculously high, probably around $1 million considering travel, video and dog food. The album itself was also costly, with production fees usually seen on albums by %u2014 ahem %u2014 actual recording artists.

Posted at 6:41PM on Sep 24th 2006 by Shar

4623. Paris Hilton was questioned by the LAPD during the investigation into the home-invasion robbery of Girls Gone Wild producer Joe Francis (in which he was tied up, had his pants pulled down, was taunted by a dildo, and forced to admit on tape that he enjoyed gay sex) and in the audio tape admits she's not very bright:

"Like I really ... I don't remember. I'm not like that smart," Hilton said in police audio tapes set to air on "Dateline NBC" on Saturday night. LAPD Detective Steve Koman and Deputy DA Hoon Chun were asking Hilton to remember what she told Francis at a party shortly after the "Girls" mastermind was victimized on Jan. 24, 2004. Francis passed on Paris' information to cops, who eventually busted Darnell Riley. But when investigators pressed Hilton to recall her talk with Francis, she didn't remember much, The Post's David K. Li reports. "I like forget stuff all the time," she said.
Hilton also told the cops about "private tapes" that were stolen from her home and that a mysterious caller wanted money for them.

"They ... wanted money. They were tryin' to sell it to like a newspaper or something," said Hilton, who balked at paying - and chalked it up to advice from dear old Dad. "So if you pay somebody, then you're gonna be paying for the rest of your life," Hilton said. "My dad always taught me. They'll keep the tape anyway."
There's too much going on here. Joe Francis admitting he's gay and almost getting sodomized. Paris Hilton admitting she's mentally handicapped. Maybe if I throw in these pictures of her pumping gas your brain will explode from an overdose of pleasure. And then, my friends, my mission in life will be complete. For I am Exploderhead: the exploder of heads.

I TOLD YOU SHE WAS A BAR FLY!!

Posted at 10:01PM on Sep 24th 2006 by Shar

4624. Hey Mesa #4637...

Like you said, "I don't think". We all get that, already. It's obvious that you CAN'T think because you don't have good command of the English language, like most of P. H.'s fans. Her fans are largely illitrate underage tweeners.

Your inability to think is why you post the same lame comment over and over and over and over. Do you not realize that it has gramatical errors?

You only prove the point that has been made over and over.

This has nothing to do with being a better person, either. It has everything to do with the obvious that Paris Hilton's 15 minutes is up and she really should move along now and trundle off to the nightclub/bar where she can count all the money daddy is leaving to her.

Really, she may be a nice person, but it takes more than nice to be on television and make great recordings. Maybe she's finding this out. Probably not. She probably thinks everybody is just "mean and jealous", like you Mesa.

Posted at 7:53PM on Sep 26th 2006 by Shar

4625. OMG! Paris sings "Happy Birthday" to Hugh Hefner...notice how she really sucks up to him.

Judge for yourself!

This is what she REALLY sounds like! ahahahahahahahahahaha

http://www.videovat.com/videos/1622/paris-hilton-hefner-birthday.aspx

Posted at 2:10AM on Sep 26th 2006 by Shar

4626. Mesa # 4641

You don't know how to form sentences that make sense! Learn to write English properly. What does this sentence mean? "Leaving other people busy the way it is?" Also, "but everyone have their flaws" is poor usage. It should be "has their flaws".

If you're gonna post this over and over why not make the gramatical corrections?

I've already pointed this out in previous posts, but I'm guessing you don't read very well either.

Maybe you and Paris should consider a tutor or taking evening classes in basic reading and writing skills

Posted at 1:53AM on Sep 29th 2006 by Shar

4627. Shar,
Maybe YOU should take a class on the English language ! I dont know who the hell Mesa is,but,YOU MISSPELLED ILLITERATE:)Go back and check for yourself.
You have alot of nerve ,honey. It appears You arent exactly a brain surgeon your damn self:) Have a good day:)

Posted at 5:05PM on Sep 29th 2006 by angie

4628. Shar, In reference to your comments to poor little Mesa,whom I have started to feel sorry for ,after reading your verbal abuse. You are just a BITCH! LOOK THAT WORD UP IN THE DICTIONARY! I got on this site when I was bored after a long day in CLASS (which,btw,you could use a little of that) just for kicks,because, I to ,think Paris Hilton has got a lot of nerve feeling sorry for herself. I got on this site to laugh @ her,but you are much more hilarious. Let Mesa see the good in people if she wants,i think its kind of sweet:) Enough about that. Lets talk about you Einstein! Comment#4641,second paragraph,you use the word "Gramatical"?Did you mean GRAMMATICAL? Gramatical isnt EVEN A WORD ! So now we have Miss English lit. over here who has not only misspelled illiterate,but has also made up her own word!
Paragraph4,line two"it has everything with the obvious that Paris Hiltons 15 minutes is up" . LET ME REVISE THIS FOR YOU. PAY ATTTENTION SHAR. It has everything, with the obvious FACT ,that Paris Hiltons fifteen minutes ARE UP! Leave Mesa alone,she is just trying to be nice BITCH! (OH, THAT MEANS FEMALE DOG BY THE WAY:)

Posted at 10:28PM on Sep 29th 2006 by angie

4629. Dear Shar,
Now, how does it feel you bitter bitch? I detest you more than I ever did Paris Hilton. You have alot of nerve picking on someone who was just trying to be nice. (Mesa)As I said before, I think Paris is an idiot,however if someone likes her and just wants to say nice things,you fly off the hinge. I have seen all of your comments on Paris Hilton also. The link to the birthday for Hugh Hefner,,,yada.yada yada...blah,blah blah.I think Paris is white trash with a capital T,but,you my dear, are not far behind. You insult some poor girl because of her grammer,call her stupid because she has an opinion,and get all upset because she took up for someone you dont like.(By the way,Im still talking about Mesa,in case you cant follow along:) I have actually somewhat changed my view of Paris Hilton after reading your little tirade. You criticize and ridicule other people and act like you are better than them. You are doing nothing but contradicting yourself. You say Paris is worthless. What exactly are YOU doing to make the world a better place? My guess is probably not a damn thing. Want some advice shar? (oh,sorry.I forgot to start your name with a capital letter:)Oh well,you dont deserve it anyway:) My advice is ,take a good long look in the mirror and find out why you hate two people so much, that you dont even know . I think you are jealous of Paris AND MESA. Paris because she is rich and famous. Mesa because she is nice. I wonder,are you in college? If so what are you majoring in,BITCH101?
I am in college,A VERY GOOD ONE. I am also a CHEERLEADER,ON THE DEANS LIST ,A "BIG SISTER",AND I AM INVOLVED IN COUNTLESS OTHER ORGANIZATIONS AND CHARITIES.

Posted at 12:37PM on Oct 1st 2006 by angie

4630. Thanks for pointing out my "typos", Angie. I am disabled with multiple sclerosis and my hands are completely NUMB, plus my vision is pretty awful dispite the glasses I wear.

I get that you are angry with me, but I don't see how calling names helps you prove your point.

True, my typos don't bode well for me after pointing out to Mesa her poor usage. I became annoyed after she repeatedly put up that same post over and over and over.

So I am sorry that your are offended and I made you angry. Also, to Mesa I offer my apology for offending.

This site is a way to vent about issues that are troublesome. Paris Hilton is a such a topic.

Posted at 7:39PM on Sep 29th 2006 by Shar

4631. Angie, I see I have another in my post above where I MEAN to say, "I am sorry that YOU are offended...."

Posted at 8:10PM on Sep 29th 2006 by Shar

4632. Allright Shar,
Its cool. Sorry to hear about your problems:( Paris could contribute alot more to society. I guess her parents are to blame. They let her grow up no apathy or compassion,it appears. Sorry I said mean things to you. 4-give?
Angie

Posted at 4:56PM on Oct 2nd 2006 by angie

4633. Angie,

You're forgiven.

Posted at 11:44PM on Oct 1st 2006 by Shar

4634. Shar,
I can laugh @ myself:) I read my comments where I asked u 2 4-give? (btw,thanks:) However,I did not mean APATHY, I meant EMPATHY! She seems to lack the ability to care about anyone but herself.pEOPLE CAN SAY WHATEVER THEY WANT IN HER DEFENSE,BUT,CROSS UR FINGERS SHAR,MAYBE SHE WILL BE COURT ORDERED TO WORK IN A SOUP KITCHEN,or something that might make her think twice about her actions. ya know? Once again.........soo sorry 4 my hurtful words.
Angie

Posted at 5:29PM on Oct 2nd 2006 by angie

4635. Shar,
I just have to add this. we should put OUR GOOD TALENTS together, AND CREATE A WEBSITE:) But a nice one:) I doubt Paris would ever read it but we could offer her suggestions on some things to actually HELP people:) P.S. U r probably thinking what I am .she wouldnt read it:(

Posted at 2:14AM on Oct 3rd 2006 by angie