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This Week's Biggest Losers 08/26/06

8/25/2006 5:52 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

If K-Fed actually had something to lose, he'd definitely be on the list for his Hall of Shame rendition of "Lose Control." But that's the funny thing about the velvet noose; there's always plenty to go around.

patti sciafaPatti Scialfa:There are two immovable facts about the New York Post-fed gossip that Bruce Springsteen has secretly split from Scialfa, his wife of 20 years, in favor of a 9/11 widow he met while helping organize a special WTC telethon. One is that newspapers will have a field day with the musical double entendres ("E-Street Shuffle," "Hungry Heart"...). The other is that when your husband APPARENTLY ADDS A SURVIVOR OF America's worst terrorist incident TO THE MIX, you're caught between a rock (and roll star) and a hard place. If this sticks, look for the Springsteen single "Soccer Mom" sometime next year.



Katie Holmes: When the darling of Dawson's Creek first hooked up with Tom Cruise, she knew, courtesy of the Church of Scientology, that he was a Thetan. But no one told her he was also going to be a Cretin. Holmes may too brainwashed to care, but thanks to this week's surprise Sumner storm and all that preceded it (Brooke, Matt, Oprah), her perch next to Hollywood's most eligible bachelor is rocking in the wind. If Tom decides to cry on her shoulder about declining DVD sales, or rhapsodize about how a fall wedding could repair his dwindling Q rating, this 27-year-old lovely may want to invoke her birthplace and exclaim, "Holy Toledo! I'm outta here."

j. randy taraborrelliJ. Randy Taraborrelli: The celebrity bio author probably thought he was sitting on a surefire shocker with his revelation that Elizabeth Taylor - once the epitome of natural Hollywood beauty - had a studio-ordered nose job in her youth, performed allegedly by a plastic surgeon who also worked on Natalie Wood and Marilyn Monroe. But with only a few days to go before the August 29th hardcover release of Elizabeth, there has been absolutely no excitement over this bit of pre-publication, tease info. Perhaps J.R. should blame his own previous reporter fascination with M.J. In the shadow of that guy's nose jobs, nothing can really compare on the titillation scale anymore.

madonnaMadonna: On the one hand, her world tour continues to rake it in, grossing a whopping $22 million in the UK courtesy of some sold out dates at Wembley Arena. On the other hand, in an interview published this week in France's VSD Magazine, she confirmed what many faux accent connoisseurs have long suspected when she framed her British blue bloodedness as nothing more than the equivalent of an auditorium costume change. "I can transform myself into an English country lady and, a second later, change my look to that of Olivia Newton John or Farrah Fawcett," she boasted. In the process, she has treated hubby Guy Ritchie to mandibular mayhem on the level of Brad Pitt's work in the 2000 drama Snatch.

jamie gold 2006 WSP champJamie Gold: In the game of poker, it's known as calling another man's bluff. Convinced, apparently, that former Hollywood representation industry minion Gold would fail to make good on an August 10th voicemail in which he promised half of his World Series of Poker top prize winnings, PR helper and newfound friend Bruce Crispin Leyser got a Nevada judge to put a freeze on six of Gold's twelve mill. Coming on the heels of some earlier Tinseltown reports that the champ had greatly exaggerated his one-time level of Ari Gold-ness, it starting to look more like a royal fleece.

77 COMMENTS

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1.

anon    

what a shAME---men see a tighter bleep and go a running

2926 days ago
2.

alissa    

if bruce did leave patty for another woman,, it serves her right,,, after all she stole bruce from his first wife model and actress julianne phillips ... what goes around comes around!!

2926 days ago
3.

chris    

IF IT IS TRUE BRUCE IS A C*CKSUCKER

2926 days ago
4.

SP    

Hey The Boss left his first wife, what would make anyone think he would'nt leave the 2nd one. And after awhile when he gets bored he will leave this one. It is the way of entertainers and a lot of other people as well. When the going gets tough the wimps go running. When the seas get rough these people jump in the life boats instead of riding it out to a better and stronger relationship.

2926 days ago
5.

jennifer    

Too bad Patti. Surprised it lasted this long. Once a dog, always a dog.

2926 days ago
6.

Kity Kat    

A few years ago I remember seeing a Oprah episodes about women and families who were abandoned by their husbands for 9/11 widows. It makes me so mad and sick that I had wrote horrible things, but I changed my mind since it was bad for my soul.

2926 days ago
7.

Helen Z    

Patti did not steal Bruce from Julianna. He only married Julianna because she was the image he wanted to project. They had nothing in common at all. Patti is his soulmate...if you ever went to any show of theirs you would know it. I have been IN LOVE with Bruce Springsteen since I was 14 yrs. old and believe me, I didn't want to admit it, but they were made for each other and if he is cheating on her he is ruining his life.

2926 days ago
8.

LOLA    

bizarro

2926 days ago
9.

Joisy Boy    

Next hit song..."The World is Round, Bend Over and Take it Patti"..This guy can get Mogambo, should get Mogambo, but if you gonna do that, then you better stop the holier than thou nonsense about all your causes. Let the dick forever RULE! (duh)

2926 days ago
10.

Emily    

Glad to see Patty is finally getting a taste of her own medicine. Ever hear the old adage, "Justice rides a slow horse, but it gets here after awhile.?"

2926 days ago
11.

Joisy Boy    

oh, and btw, he trades from Jullianne Phillips a grade C actress, to this fugly redhead...i can't wait to see what's next, a bad lady?

2926 days ago
12.

Cindy    

Hey Patti, ever hear the term "IF HE'LL DO IT WITH YOU, HE'LL DO IT TO YOU"? You got what you deserved. I only feel sorry for the children.

2926 days ago
13.

gary    

she gets waht she deserves since he was with another woman when he took up with his worthless worn out old and i do mean old wife.

2926 days ago
14.

April    

What an disgusting shame that Bruce cheats & dumps his wife of 20 years, and most of you guys crap all over the WOMEN. What is this? 1910?

2926 days ago
15.

Dee    

I can't believe how cruel you people are! Patti has been married to Bruce for 20 f*cking years. This is not some bimbo that took a man from his wife...you CAN'T TAKE a man from his wife.

Jullianne was a prima donna and a bitch of the first degree. She cared NOTHING about Bruce and what he needed, just about HERSELF. Hell, you people must have forgotten that PATTI DID NOTHING but WAIT until Bruce wised up and came back home to her again.

Bruce should be ashamed of himself for doing this to Patti after all these years. This SUCKS!

2926 days ago
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