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This Week's Biggest Losers 09/02/06

9/2/2006 7:00 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

As we head into the final holiday weekend of the summer, celebrities - like the working man - are tallying up the fruits of their Labor. And if some of it happens to be rancid, you can bet in their case it will be 100% organic and impeccably garnished.

Harry MortonHarry Morton: Labor Day was the brainchild of a feisty, redheaded Irish-American carpenter named Peter McGuire. Now, as Morton appears on the verge of proposing to his OWN half-Irish REDHEAD, Lindsay Morgan Lohan, he is probably sweating it out in Hawaii for reasons that have nothing to do with ozone layer depletion. Let us count the ways: Lindsay was once reported to have said that Harry was her third boyfriend choice, behind the already taken Ashton Kutcher and Johnny Depp; she already has her PR rep denying reports that Harry bought the engagement ring at Cartier in Beverly Hills; and her overall behavior is more explosive than the idea of an Arizona sports stadium being named after Harry's restaurant chain Pink Taco. Word to the wise, Harry: Keep a healthy supply of Ty Ku (an HM branded mix of vodka and a sake-infused liquor) on the bedside table.



Jack BlackJack Black:
He tried. Oh, how he tenaciously tried. But the sight of the cuddly counterculture warrior grimacing his way through one stilted gag after another, as host of this week's MTV Video Music Awards, brought back memories of all those "Vapoorizer" gags in the 2004 comedy dud "Envy." The audience was more polite towards this hipster than it was during Sarah Silverman's show-ending Paris Hilton monologue, but really, it would have been most appropriate if Black, after some poorly executed dressing room shtick involving K-Fed and Britney, had simply bailed on his hosting duties and handed the mike over to Kanye.

John Travolta John Travolta: On the heels of fellow Scientology A-lister Tom Cruise's troubles with Mr. and Mrs. Sumner Redstone comes a doozy of a photo courtesy of old school tabloid The National Enquirer. Snapped on the runway in Hamilton, Ontario, where the actor has been jetting in and out of for the Toronto-based shoot of the musical movie adaptation Hairspray, it shows the actor in a way-beyond-European-friendly lip lock with an unidentified man. While some in the blogosphere are saying that it's all part of the 52-year-old's Italian, hands-on greeting style, it may not quite play that way in Kansas. On the bright side, it will quickly make people forget the gossip that Travolta was the one who got J. Lo booted off the set of the upcoming Dallas movie.

Donald Trump Donald Trump: Let's see if we've got this straight. A guy with a hearty appetite for speaking engagements, TV talk show appearances and writing books has fired his right-hand Apprentice woman, Carolyn Kepcher, for reportedly straying towards too many speaking engagements, TV talk show appearances and writing a book? By that measure, former winner and current Trump employee Bill Rancic should be shown the curb for his romance with E! Entertainment Television on-air personality Giuliana Depandi. Instead of giving Kepcher The Trump glower, The Donald should have realized that by virtue of all those hours in the Boardroom spent next to the master of self-promotion, she is not guilty by reason of proximity.

Kyra Phillips Kyra Phillips: You know you're in trouble when something you do Tuesday on CNN turns into a Thursday Top Ten List on CBS (number three on Dave's list of Top Ten KP Excuses: "I just wanted hunky Lou Dobbs to notice me.") And although Phillips is to be commended for showing up on Letterman to read that Top Ten List, it still doesn't change the fact that her "control freak" sister-in-law will likely be in no rush at the Thanksgiving dinner table to pass the cranberry sauce.

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19 COMMENTS

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1.

caveman    

Dallas movie = studio heads on crack.

How big a bomb is that going to be?
whats next, miami vice?

2918 days ago
2.

Esq    

Umm, the football ARIZONA Cardinals are not in St. Louis and have not been for 20+ years. TMZ is a loser this time.

2918 days ago
3.

Redneck Messiah    

TMZ calls them losers BUT.....LiLo's nemesis is looking down her nose at people...(again).....US Today reports http://www.usatoday.com/life/music/news/2006-08-31-mtv-vma-main_x.htm?csp=34 in a recent interview during the MTV VMA's, Princess Paris stated that she was happy the awards were once again in NY, and NOT Miami (which is SWEATY AND GROSS). Isn't this same town (Miami) thats home to numerous Hilton Hotels and mere hop, skip and jump away from Club Paris (in Orlando and Jacksonville)?
Hear this Miami?
Paris Has Spoken (without thinking) ((again)).
You're just SWEATY AND GROSS!!
Like EWWWIE, I am so not into Miami, but i do like its money!!!



...yet TMZ fails to report it? Rumors that TMZ gets Paris kick backs? ....huh?
....surely i jest.

I Beg to Differ. TMZ.......you just got called out.


(todays secret word is..... Transparent).

2918 days ago
4.

marianne.    

August 31 in Miami IS sweaty and gross! what I can't figure out is why Harry is one of this weeks biggest losers he was over in hawaii, with his girl WTF?

2918 days ago
5.

Fire Crotch    

Umm...#5, who cares? Paris is from New York and probably has more of a base there than Miami, or was already there. It's just not newsworthy, hun. I mean, if someone was like are you glad to be here, obviously they are going to say yes. I am no fan of Hilton, which is why we shouldn't follow every word she says and she how we can twist it to be controversial....just ignore her, and maybe laugh when she actually does something stupid.

2918 days ago
6.

John    

I swear this site is pro-Paris (and I guess by definition, anti-Lindsay and therefore anti-Harry Morton). Pathetic.

2918 days ago
7.

Wait till the blogs get hold of this.    

#7 I am #5. Odd that you post opposing my view, when its nothing worse than anyone else states about Slag Trash, yet.....when the toes of TMZ's gets stepped on....my emal gets blocked and i get banned from posting. Could this be a direct result from....*Feign Gasp* the bitter (Hilton Hand Fed) Queens at TMZ are responsible?

Surely they can come up with more original posting names than Fire Crotch (a term, first saw here AND penned by Paris (Free-Ride) Hiltons BSF (Best Sweaty Friend) Brandon "Fat Elvis" Davis.

There's other blogs,and rest assured, news as good as this is well traveled.

P.S. for the record, (no offense but) NY is far from cool and ALWAYS smells like piss.

>>>TMZ, AOL, Time Warner, Paris Hilton......their all the same. THEY ALL SUCK

so...Umm#7, Twist This & Get Bent.

P.S.S ZOMG, that sneaky bastard had another email! Why I Oughta.......



2918 days ago
8.

Wait till the blogs get hold of this.    

lets see......harry and lindsey are in hawaii, getting engaged....hmm......jack black is bigger (not only in size) than ever.....rats, that wont do.........aha!....john travolta is finally coming out of the closet after 20yrs......nope....that wont do either, tabloids got it FIRST.....donald trump inc. makes more than time warner (and that hair!!! ted turners is much nicer) so lets diss him!!!...naw.......kyra philips speaks her mind about life controlling, gold digging sows in her immediate family while on live mic and working at a REAL news network ....wait........they arent the losers at all. TMZ IS. its obvious they take cue and ride what or who evers wave is the biggest at that time of day. kinda like the national enquirer with video!!!! *o/* Go TMZ Queens!! Rah!!
Your ignorant reporters (?) are biased, hand fed and couldnt find a decent story if it was handed to them in a paper bag.


>>>need i say it again? oh.......o.k. *le sigh*

>>>TMZ, AOL, TIME WARNER YOU SUCK

"oh durnit, that pesky #5 is back again"

2918 days ago
9.

TheseDays    

The doozy photo of John Travolta a part of "hands-on greeting style," HARDLY..... That kiss and touch were quite intimate. Come out of the closet, Travolta, how blind do you think the public is????

2918 days ago
10.

marianne.    

so are cruise and travolta a gay couple? this would be so cool on south park, oh wait, it was

2918 days ago
11.

Shannon    

somehow, Paris Hilton, and her Flop of an Album failed to make the Z-List...

wtf?

2918 days ago
12.

Whatever    

This guy looks like a tool. Lindsey says he's third best? I wouldn't be buying her a piece of sh*t much less a diamond if I were this fool.

2918 days ago
13.

Whatever    

Paris says Miami is sweaty and gross? WTF? Her crotch is sweaty and gross. She needs a good dose of reality. Let her walk through Liberty City at night see how long she lasts....................

2918 days ago
14.

krista    

Lohan's third choice? Lohan has a choice in men? since when do prostitutes care about who they're getting at the moment

2918 days ago
15.

brandi    

Uh, yeah, the stadium that the Pink Taco wants to name is in AZ (Glendale to be exact), not St. Louis. The Cardinals have been in AZ for like the past 20 years.

2918 days ago
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