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Madonna: I Know What Jesus Would Do

9/22/2006 10:00 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Madonna has finally spoken out about the controversial mock-crucifixion scene in her "Confessions" world tour, and she thinks that if Jesus were a global pop icon he would hang himself from a big, lighted cross on stage as well.

As NBC vacillates over whether it should air the provocative portion of Madge's show in its broadcast special in November, Madonna decided to respond to all the criticism, saying in a statement that putting herself up on the cross "is no different than a person wearing a cross or 'taking up the cross' as it says in the Bible ... it is my plea to the audience to encourage mankind to help one another." And then: "I believe in my heart that if Jesus were alive he would be doing the same thing."

Whatever Jesus might do, Madonna is certainly raking it in: The "Confessions" tour has brought in $193.7 million from its 60 shows, making it the highest-grossing tour ever by a female artist, surpassing the $192.5 million Cher made over 273 shows during her nearly three-year "Farewell" tour of 2002-2005.

Hugh Grant Gets Snippy With Snapper

Once again, Hugh Grant has decided that he doesn't appreciate the attention of photographers. Lensman Bradley Case was taking shots of Grant in London yesterday when the actor said to him, according to Rush & Molloy, "You're nothing but a stupid t***. If you don't f*** off, I'm gonna cut your b***s off." After his tirade, alleges Case, Grant actually slapped him "hard across the face." The photog is planning to press charges. No word from Grant's rep about the incident, but it's not the first time that he's had a run-in with the paparazzi: Earlier this year, Grant allegedly tapped a lensman with a manila folder in New York during an altercation near Central Park.

Leo Gets Smaller Place For Mom Than Himself?

Leonardo DiCaprio is getting a place for his mom – a nice gesture, to be sure – but he's got a very specific size in mind for his mama's pad. "I'm purchasing a new place for my mother, but it has to be more than 1,400 square feet," he tells Page Six. Well, Mrs. DiCaprio might wonder what's up when she sees her son's new place – Leo himself is in contract to get a $5 million penthouse in Hudson Blue, a swanky new development under construction in the Village, and those apartments definitely appear to larger than 1,400 square feet.

The Donald Brings You Trump Nursing Home

Now that he's turned 60, Donald Trump is thinking of his golden years, and yesterday he opened his first condo development aimed at "active adults" like himself. "I'm the poster boy for active adults. I'm 60, my wife is 30 and I just fathered a son. Doesn't get more active than that," said the billionaire in reference to his own "active" lifestyle. The $112 million, 141-unit building has one-, two-, and three-bedroom units that go for $500,000 to $1.2 million. And as is his custom (and prerogative), Trump has modestly named the development Trump Park Residences.

Party Favors: Pink Converses in Marie Antoinette's Closet, Yet Another Shrink on Premium Cable

It might not be exactly period-appropriate, but they're cute: Sofia Coppola says that her brother Roman put a pair of pink Converse sneakers into a closet in her latest movie, "Marie Antoinette." The kicks appear for a split second amongst a lineup of French period footwear, and the LA Times wonders if there won't be a kerfuffle with Manolo Blahnik, who did the other shoes in the film ... First there was Dr. Melfi, and then Huff, and now HBO is bringing Gabriel Byrne to its network as a therapist who seems cool and collected with his patients but turns out to be testy and self-doubting when he sees his own patients. The half-hour drama is called "In Treatment" and is based on a popular Israeli series of the same name.

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Madonna is the ultimate icon - simply nobody can come close to her!
WARNING: This thread will surely be plagued by stupid Mariah fans again!

2924 days ago


" a therapist who seems cool and collected with his patients but turns out to be testy and self-doubting when he sees his own patients."

Wha? That don't make no sense.

2924 days ago

Your Mama    

Madonna is an icon- in her own mind. Ive never been a fan of her music (that voice is not good!) but could appreciate her flair for showmanship. Now, she just seems lame and desperate for attention. It's sad. Maybe her daughter and Courtney Love's kid can form a support group.

I think if Jesus were here, he tell her to stop being such a skanktard and do something meaningful with her flife besides crazy Kabbalah water schemes.

2924 days ago



2924 days ago


What does this woman think....JESUS is alive! She will get hers in the end! Poor thing...soooooooooooo ignorant!

2924 days ago


Has anyone eeeeeeeeeevvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeerrrrrr seen such an ego as Donald Trumps? He is such an ego-maniac....why does he have to put the Trump name on everything?! Maybe he could have named the retirement homes something other what he did!

2924 days ago


When I first read this-I thought this woman has lost her damn mind. If Jesus was alive-he wouldn't be a damn pop singer. (At least I hope not) Im sure he'd be worried about more important things, like the wars, starving countries, diseases, etc.

She's crazy!

2924 days ago


When is this old chick going to go away?

2924 days ago


I'm offended by her current plans for the TV show......let's see how the sponsors (of the TV show) react......I plan to let them know how I feel....

2924 days ago


If...if Jesus is alive. Wasnt she raised catholic. Then she would know that He rose again and IS alive. She stuck her foot in her mouth again!

2924 days ago


To VALERIE GRANT! My point exactly....she is such a moron! Thank goodness there are still people that have religion and morals!

2924 days ago


Madonna: "I know what Jesus would do."

Do ya?

2924 days ago


Jesus would tell her to get of her own NOT EVERYONE ELSES

2924 days ago


And if Jesus was alive he be MORTIFIED
I dont think I'd see him straddling a dog

2924 days ago


Wait a minute, She's supposed to be Jewish right? Don't Jews think Jesus hasn't came to earth yet? She's so trivial and desperate....

2924 days ago
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