K-Fed's ASS-trology

11/16/2006 6:25 PM PST
You might blame Britney for bringing us the aspiring rapper attention-vacuum that is Kevin Federline, but we know the real culprit: Astrology.

According to the stars, the Federslime was destined to be in the spotlight, whether we welcomed him or not, or whether he deserved it or not. He was born on March 21, 1978, a day significant because it's the first day of Spring, and, according to AOL Horoscopes, because the Sun lands at what's known as the Aries Point -- the first degree of Aries. For anyone born with their sun at the first degree of Aries, recognition tends to be bestowed, rather than earned. Hmm ... who does that remind you of?

Some Aries with their sun at the Aries Point are genuinely talented -- Bach, Rosie O'Donnell, Matthew Broderick -- but others, like the Fed-Ex, are just mooching off their ill-gotten astrological luck and, in some cases, their wives. And when it comes to K-Fool, astrology delivers some very bad news -- we'll be hearing plenty more about him in months to come.