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K-Fed's ASS-trology

11/16/2006 6:25 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF

Kevin FederlineYou might blame Britney for bringing us the aspiring rapper attention-vacuum that is Kevin Federline, but we know the real culprit: Astrology.

According to the stars, the Federslime was destined to be in the spotlight, whether we welcomed him or not, or whether he deserved it or not. He was born on March 21, 1978, a day significant because it's the first day of Spring, and, according to AOL Horoscopes, because the Sun lands at what's known as the Aries Point -- the first degree of Aries. For anyone born with their sun at the first degree of Aries, recognition tends to be bestowed, rather than earned. Hmm ... who does that remind you of?

Some Aries with their sun at the Aries Point are genuinely talented -- Bach, Rosie O'Donnell, Matthew Broderick -- but others, like the Fed-Ex, are just mooching off their ill-gotten astrological luck and, in some cases, their wives. And when it comes to K-Fool, astrology delivers some very bad news -- we'll be hearing plenty more about him in months to come.

23 COMMENTS

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1.

DeeBee    

You're kidding me, right? Man it must be a slow day if this is the best that you can do. And shame on me for reading it, much less commenting on it!!

2807 days ago
2.

Monica    

I believe you make your own fate. By the media talking about Federjerk all the time, we are causing him to gain the spotlight. If the news would stop reporting on him he would disappear. So enough already!

2807 days ago
3.

coco puff    

HA HA HA! Rosie O'Donnell is genuinely talented, at what? Being a fat, disgusting, lap licking pig. Every time I see it I want to puke, on her. She is obnoxious and about as funny as rectal cancer. I'm sorry for all the people born under Aries.

2807 days ago
4.

Sandra    

I'm not taking up for Kevin but his soon to be exwife is nothing to scream about either. She is not what I call a talented person. She used that big booty of hers to get where she did. Real god given talent like Karen Carpenter she is not. Britney's voice is nothing special. Kevin is no different than Yoko Ono. Yoko rode John Lennon's coat tail for years and she is in no way talented. Yoko was a very controlling b----. I just hate that John let her control him. Back to the subject, Kevin and Britney are two talentless people. There are just alot of people out there that do not know what real talent is because if they did she would not be a millionaire.

2807 days ago
5.

my opinion    

Kevin is not a rhyming genius like I believe Eminem to be, but his rapping is really not that bad. He's got great potential to keep getting better and better. In fact, I like his song "Lose Control"! Don't take the lyrics so seriously---it's just a rap! So what if he's stating he's a "superstar"---they are just lyrics to a rap! Big deal!! He's waaaayyy better than a lot of rappers in my opinion (Eminem is my favorite, so excluding him)----at least when Kevin, like Eminem, raps, you can understand what these two are saying!!

So many of you on this board are so cruel. I really don't know how you can be so mean. Kevin never did anything to any of you. Leave him alone!

2807 days ago
6.

SWEETS    

I hope we'll be hearing things like K-fed was seen pan handleing cig's at the circle K rather then all the extra press he's had laterly.Although when you reported that he took doggy bags from the strip joint and all extra booze ended up under his shirt I was rolling on the floor!!!Keep up the good reports : )

2807 days ago
7.

tysin    

i think the ONLY media outlet still talking about him is TMZ. that should say enough right there.

2807 days ago
8.

Whatever    

TMZ you crack me up with all the horrible pictures of k-fag. Hopefully he will go away soon so we don't have to look at the ugly beast anymore!

2807 days ago
9.

Lea    

Astrology. Smashtrolgy. TMZ is truly desperate with news. If yawl were in fact good, you'd catch up with Kfed instead of this outta the world B.S. Quit playing with yourselves and get out there and get us some REAL stuff.

2807 days ago
10.

Puh der Baer    

Whatever. Get him the f**k out of my world.

2807 days ago
11.

beware of big dark HERPE caves    

He is soooo STUPID and totally ridiculous. Doesn't he ever feel embarrassed???? He's not even good looking. He's an a**hole too, threatening to put out a sex tape if she doesn't pay what she wants.

2807 days ago
12.

Anthony    

The guy hit paydirt , good for him..who would pass up the oppurtunity to bang britney and get rich doing it. She may not be a great singer but she has a fantastic ass and is cute to boot. I would hit it.

2807 days ago
13.

Wendy    

You know we have seen this coming but trashing him badly over and over isnt the best, so lets leave it alone and as they say let sleeping dogs lie and move on. He never was anything big except being married to Britney Spears might get him in some hot pants but other than that, he will be a sorry man some day. Whatever, its time to move on like Britney.

umm and To Sandra, Britney has talent, she's sexah and is pretty well liked so shove it honey where the sun dont shine. I expect her to be better than she ever was so screw your comments.

2807 days ago
14.

phoenix    

i really hope this guy is a strong person, anybody else would probably do themselves in with all this mad doggin, what are people going to say if she takes him back, we all know they were really in love with each other, we've all been there. well most of us have been there! she's been pregnant the whole time they have been together practically! considering both of their young lifestyles that had to be really hard. as for shar jackson, she said herself that no matter what, Kevin has always been devoted to the kids. britney helped him write those songs and encouraged him to go out and promote himself, now its all his fault? thats sh*tty! we don't know why he was doing the things he was doing, she has to be an emotional basket case, getting pregnant back to back, that gotta suck emotionally!
he looks like sh*t, and we all know why, he's trying not to let it show that he blew it!
we all have to remember that their are kids that are involved in this and they can aand will read eventually all of this stuff! THAT IS SO SAD!

2807 days ago
15.

s. bretz    

Come on, My opinion's post on k Fed, that's really you right Kevin? Are you F*&$#ing kidding me? Just me

2807 days ago
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