TomKat Wedding: Mission Accomplished!

46. Scientologist #12398704

ARE YOU SERIOUS...you are making me laugh so hard I want to pee hahahahahhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaa

LOL

So this was like the Scientlogy Royal wedding or what????

I thought the whole LRH frozen sperm was bullsh*t, but now I wont put it past y'all

LOL ...I need to go ..............hahahahah

Posted at 9:14PM on Nov 19th 2006 by Miapocca

47. People should really educate themselves on Scientology before they call Tom and the Scientologists good people.

Posted at 9:16PM on Nov 19th 2006 by another person

48. Dang, I thought David Beckham (despite his evil looking bride) was cool and hot till I found out his celebrity brain too is going for the religion of the year for celebrities. These scientology freaks, and "yes, I will call them that, are in a cult. Katie is being pulled along. That's what happens when science fic religion is your family.

Posted at 11:05PM on Nov 19th 2006 by Nurse Polly Peptide

49. TOM CRUISE WEARS SHOELIFTS!!!!!!

Actor and Ex-Scientologist extraordinare is facing his most impossible mission yet: how to stop his debilitating disease from making him shorter than he already is!!!!!!


Tom Cruise--or, as his friends used to call him, Mr. Nicole Kidman--has been hiding a horrible, rare disease for years, says Celebrity Cola's inside source, Dave Dpjs.
The disease works like this, says Dave--who works intimately with Tommy Cruise's doctor, Millard Leinquist--"Tom Cruise was six-foot-three at the age of 18-years,( YEAH RIGHT) but he's been growing progressively shorter every year. It's horrible. Nobody knows how to stop it. The only thing Doctor Leinquist can figure out is how to slow the disease down. That and how to yell at me in seven different languages that I'm a sorry son-of-bitch and I need to make him some goddamn coffee when he comes in in the morning."

Researching Dave's outrageous claims, we came across a story in the New York Times, where it was reported that "A 6'2" Anthony Edwards admitted on latenight television that he was urged to wear flat shoes while filming 'Top Gun' so he wouldn't upstage a very highly unlikely 5'9" Tom Cruise, who was also wearing shoelifts."

This quote from the NY Times, referring to an incident that took place in the 1980's, seems strange when compared to a USA Today excerpt referring to an incident in the '90's: "While filming 'An Interview with a Vampire,' a 6'1'' Brad Pitt was forced to stand in a trench anytime he was together on the set with Tom Cruise, who, despite wearing shoelifts, was only 5'5''."

When questioned about all this, Tommy Cruise's publicist stated, "I think it's a shame that everyone keeps accusing Tom of having some sort of 'shrinking disease.' I know for a fact that Tom is not an inch under 6 feet."

Mr. Cruise's weasely Scientologist lawyer went on to say, "Tom never has been and never will be a wearer of shoe lifts. I know for a fact he is a solid 5'10''. This is all obviously a plot of evil aliens, whom I plan to sue into the ground and then piss on with the sacred piss of John Travolta-Almighty. And then shalt the fiery hand of the science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard cometh down from the skies and raise poor Tommy to his proper height!!!!!"

Not to be ignored by the press, Nicole Kidman's publicist commented: "So what if he's only 4'1'' now? Sometimes he doesn't WANT to be seen by the public, and then all he has to do is hide under Mrs. Kidman's skirt and hold onto one of her long, Amazonian legs. She'll let him stay there all night if he does that thing with his tongue he does so well. Not that I'd know about that. All I'm saying is he spent three hours standing under her dress at the last Oscar party, and I happen to know he was quite relieved to do it, what with being embarrassed over never having won an Oscar and all. Plus Jerry Bruckheimer was looking for him, and we all know about the sodomy that went on during the sets of 'Top Gun' and 'Days of Thunder', and now that Tommy has turned straight, God knows he doesn't want to go through that with Jerry again. Still, they were quite the couple back in the day: big studio exec Jerry and his little lover Tom, the midget boy-wonder."

Dr. Leinquist estimates that by next year Tom Cruise will only be four-feet and six-inches tall.

"I don't think he's worried, he'll just have to look for new sorts of roles," said a jolly Samuel L. Jackson, who's set to co-star with Tom in next year's summer flag-pole action-adventure remake, "Land of the Giants!"

Jackson will play an 81-foot giant, and Cruise will star as the miniscule man who must save the world.

If only Stanley Kubrick was alive today, he could have made his dream project: 'Eyes Wide Shut Two: Midget Boogaloo.'

Posted at 9:27PM on Nov 19th 2006 by Miapocca

50. You losers in here spend all your time attacking the Tom and Tomkat posts with hateful messages, the sh*t you say defines you people's values and it seems you lack many! You haters are total losers who won't admit you are obsessed with them!Tomkat posts always have the most comments! Freaks!

As for Tom and Katie, I wish them happiness and I hope that they have a wonderful honeymoon and happy lives together, because they deserve it!

You sh*t heads in here need to get laid because you got all this tension that needs to be released and you take it out on celebrities like Tom Cruise, why not go bash Paris Hilton she's the nastiest most superficial heiress on the face of the earth according to Tina Fey!

Posted at 9:36PM on Nov 19th 2006 by Kalista Brat

51. #47 you're on drugs! This has nothing to do with your crack whore dream girl! Find the correct topic!
At least this whole fiasco is over til the divorse!

Posted at 9:36PM on Nov 19th 2006 by lLivy

52. This is ridiculous. The PR on this "wedding" and the amount of attention PEOPLE.com is dedicating to this circus is beyond nauseating. Reading through the play by play, it just smells of desperate PR attempt to renew interest in a couple who seriously seems like the most mismatched couple of the century. If they love each other -great. If they truly are happy great. But stop force feeding us this nonsense and try to make a fairy tale romance out of nothing. There is no chemistry, no sincerity and no shows of love to the general public - everything seems so staged and forced. I am so turned off by these two - that I am taking time out of my day to vent about how obnoxious this entire facade is. Get married - great! But don't send out a PR report that sounds so fake - that is was written before the ceremony even took place. And nice touch up on the photos - check out the photos that AOL has all over its opening page - and check out the photos on TMZ. Love how the lines are gone, the coloring is soft and light ...yeah - paint it up, mock it up, photoshop it up all you want...this all just screams FAKE.

Posted at 10:07PM on Nov 19th 2006 by kimberly

53. POst # 20 Kate : That was a very good blog. Brillantly worded so that ANYONE can understand and " get the big picture " here. Sometimes when blogs are put in " Layman's terms " eveyone wakes up and sees what is going on.

Some very funny blogs on here on tonight. Post # 24 Rachel : Thanks for the support. Every now and again I run into Psycho's on these boards .... but you are probably right about " Butch " being a Scientologist. THey have their shills out and about sniffing where ever they can.

Post # 35 : Miapocca : Right on !! Sandy is a major misguided Tom Cruise Fan. ( not many of those left ) SHe should be thanking you for that post. I wouldn't doubt if she belonged to the " Cult " too.

Post # 41 Scientologist # 12398704 : Very funny. Unfortunrately you're right on the $$$. They are all a bunch of wierdo's who believe in all that crap. It's unimaginable that anyone would support Tom at this stage in the game. It's a good thing he has lots of money. He is going to need it.

Posted at 9:42PM on Nov 19th 2006 by the wise old owl

54. #47: show some f*cking respect, C*NT!!! if you want to blame this on anybody, blame timmy.....and linds for not creating any news this weekend.

at least admit that she is a good actress.

Posted at 9:44PM on Nov 19th 2006 by ran-dog

55. i find all u people who hate on him hilarious....before he jumped on the couch, everyone loved the guy and now hes creepy...give me a break, im happy for them.

Posted at 9:44PM on Nov 19th 2006 by Jason

56. Ken Paves must have been having a bad "hair" day , since his gay compadre went ahead with the sham wedding, Katie's hair looked absolutely awful like a escapee from a mental institution. The dress did not look like it was worth 2 mil. and she must have been wearing beach sandals because Midget Man looked taller or was that his taller alien persona? Either way this was BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted at 9:45PM on Nov 19th 2006 by Syl C.

57. Actually I found him creepy and unattractive BEFORE the couch jumping. If you like him then great for you. But just because I and others dont does not make our opinions any less valid than yours.

Judging from several posts, several people (or maybe just one pathetic one) are missing their auditing time.

Posted at 9:51PM on Nov 19th 2006 by Amy

58. Bravo #53...My kudos to you...I wish the couple all the Happiness in the world..they make a Beautiful Couple....Look how long John Trovolta and his Mrs. have been married...Congradulations to the Couple

Posted at 10:14PM on Nov 19th 2006 by Patty Davis

59. It's so funny how the Hollyweird elite get into these cult-like religions and thinks its normal. Just look at Madonna and her sect the red string and all. It doesn't matter how many times you're married as long as it seem like the first time. I got advice for Will and Jada Smith run as fast as you can the other way, they know you got money and they want it. And as far as the Mormons, I lived in Salt Lake City for 17 years, take my word it's a cult. Just alittle smarter than the rest.

Posted at 10:13PM on Nov 19th 2006 by Lenn K.

60. LOL...all you jealous, ugly, fat people..haven't a nice word to say..you are soooooo pathetic and obviously don't have much going on in your lives at all.. Save your venom for your own lives which will never, ever amount to much. Enjoy your unglamourous, boring lives in the neighborhood trailer parks where you can spend the rest of your life criticizing everyone who has more than you do.

Posted at 10:27PM on Nov 19th 2006 by :8