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This Week's Biggest Losers


12/16/2006 11:00 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

It took months for the Three Wise Men to ferry across the Holy Land with gifts of frankincense, gold and myrrh ... but it only takes a few days In the Zone for celebs to give TMZ the gift of laughter.

Nicole Richie: Booking PhotoNicole Richie: While Kirstie Alley was sighted this week looking like her old "Fat Actress" self, her wafer-thin reality counterpart got the jump on "The Simple Life 5" by ditching Paris and merging some 420 with the 134. As for the Vicodin, which most of us take after a root canal, Richie swears it's to dull the pain of menstrual cramps. Think of it as the "Not Guilty by Reason of Fertility" defense. We know Lionel has been resisting the temptation to write a song about this, but after Kirstie Alley used his Commodores classic "Brickhouse" for her Oprah bikini coming out party, we say it's time for an intervention ballad. Suggested title: "Save You, Save Me."

Kevin Federline K-Fed: Our favorite theory about Britney's peek-a-boo passenger side antics comes from's Mark Ebner. He swears it was all part of a well thought out plan to get the jump on hubby's sex tape threats by devaluing the taboo nature of that potential product's, uh, main commodity. If she doesn't pony-up, how is Britney going to deal with K-Fed's alleged threats to write an X-rated tell-all? Once upon a time, this would have been a job for explosive Tinseltown P.I. Anthony Pellicano. But since he's currently booked, maybe Britney should threaten to cast Screech as her TV Movie K-Fed -- unless Fed-Ex backs off.

Tara Conner Miss USA: Looks like Miss Beverly Hills, Paris Hilton, has some East Coast competition. In the wake of a story first broken by TMZ, reports continue to surface about the colorful smashed-sash behavior of one Tara Conner. Seems when she isn't leading fellow underage title holder Miss Teen USA astray, she has been mixing business with pleasure at New York City hot spot Stereo. We're not sure if Conner knows the meaning of the word "irony," but isn't it just a trip that her main talent has led to the cancellation of her 21st birthday party - the first time she can legally celebrate? Thanks to her talent for bellowing "Bottoms Up!," she may soon go t*ts up when The Donald powwows next week to decide her fate.

Rosie O'Donnell Rosie O'Donnell: Now she knows how fellow tell-it-like-it-is ABC-er Bill Maher once felt. In a bitter coda to limoncello-gate, the outspoken left side tackle of "The View" was forced to apologize this week for her previous mimicking of how DeVito's Taxi-cad confessions were likely to have been discussed in mainland China. O'Donnell, who said she was shocked to learn that her rap was on the level of an Asian N-word, blithely warned that her free-associating ways would probably lead to more of the same. O'Donnell hasn't been this off since she donned leather in the 1994 S&M comedy "Exit to Eden." She once auditioned for the part of Elaine on "Seinfeld," perhaps she should have tried out for the role of Kramer.

Mel Gibson:
It's bad enough that Clint's "Letters from Iwo Jima" has jumped into the awards season race and now looks set to steal away much of "Apocalypto's" Mayan thunder. But that's nothing compared to Mel's apparent personal PR turnaround. After showing up last week on "The Tonight Show" with hat in hand, Gibson has apparently decided that it's time to call a wrap on "Apologypto." In an interview with USA Today, the actor exclaimed, "How many people do you know get a DUI and are kicked around for six months? It's out of proportion. I'm not saying I wasn't at fault. Hey, we're not perfect, we're all human, get over it. I've apologized, done the right thing, now get the hell over it. I'm a work in progress." What's next? Clint going back on "Larry King Live" and suggesting that with two Golden Globe Best Director nominations, "I better "f*ing win!"

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Mel Gibson one of the week's losers? LOL. TMZ, you're embarassing yourself now. He turned a movie with unknowns and subtitles to be the #1 movie in the country. Exit polls show that most americans still love him and he received a warm reaction from the Leno audience. Clearly, anyone with a life and some perspective have moved on considering he's apologized multiple times already. Harvey Levin, it's Jews like you that give the Jewish community a bad name.

In the words of Mel Gibson: GET THE HELL OVER IT.

2838 days ago


Nicole is not a loser...NICOLE IS A ROLE MODEL

2838 days ago


Rosie is a liar. Even a five year old knows what she said would upset Asian folks. Make a gay joke and she's ready to throw lard at folks. Idiot.

2838 days ago


Too bad Nicole didn't hit a Jewish family that night. Go Mel!

2838 days ago


This could have been Nicole!

SERVIA, W.Va. --A pickup truck traveling the wrong way on an interstate highway collided head-on with another pickup, killing all five people in both vehicles, authorities said Saturday.

The wrong-way vehicle struck the other vehicle Friday on Interstate 79 as state troopers rushed to intercept the vehicle. Both vehicles caught fire, authorities said.

A preliminary investigation indicated alcohol may have been a factor, the state police said.

Two people were in the wrong-way pickup and three people were in the second vehicle. The bodies were sent to the state medical examiner in Charleston and their identities were not released Saturday.

Servia is 41 miles northeast of Charleston.

2837 days ago

george vieto    

To the many critics who are saying that the Miss USA pageant ratings are going to be very high next year get this message through your thick heads. Unless the contestants are wearing onepiece swimsuits and not bikinis to appease Corporate America's bottom line. The punchline is this: There's a sucka born every minute.If Donald would make the pageants like the latest Miss Venezuela Pageant with the ladies all together singing together like a Broadway musical instead of a soft porn video then I'll join the band. Otherwise enjoy beating up Vanessa Williams over her miskate. Majority of celebs have done nudie videos or pictures in their early years.

2837 days ago


To #21..."too bad Nicole didn't hit a Jewish family that night"????

I'm so proud that I'm a Jew-by-choice, because people of our faith would never spew such hateful, hurtful, and dangerous words. Are you saying you want me and my 4 year old son DEAD???

I pity you. You are obviously a very messed up person. You should get psychological help, ASAP.

2837 days ago


"There's no way someone that thin even gets a period. I was born at night but not last night, Nicole!"

Please tell me you're kidding and you aren't honestly that much of a dimwit.

2837 days ago


Mel smells. The he was drunk excuse holds no water. He will pay for what he said at the firey gates of hell.

2837 days ago


Yes, Sandy Witherspoon, that's what I'm saying. Thank you for stating it so eloquently.

2837 days ago


Yes, Sandy Witherspoon, that's what I'm saying. Thank you for stating it so eloquently.

2837 days ago


What kind of friend lets you leave like that?? There are people that love you if you can settle down & see. ( and they call cabs)

2837 days ago

Standards are badly needed.    

#19 Renee - A role model for what - overindulged drugged out anorexics with suicidal tendencies endangering others? Give your head a shake. OMG.

2837 days ago


Nicole is obviously in trouble. Where are her parents???
Lionel (Dad), are you paying attention?
This girl needs some serious help.
Someone needs to step in with another intervention, or someone needs to press some charges. She needs to hit bottom; although she may be already there; before she kills herself and/or someone else.
It's just sad to see this beautiful girl on destruction road.
(no pun intended). Let's not argue about religion of people who could have been killed by her "wrong-way" actions.
A life is a life. Greiving is a B***H, not to mention the holidays arriving soon.
She was adopted; maybe that is what the problem is ....
I know there are a lot of children who are up for adoption, & would have loved having her lifestyle, she has taken for granted.
I don't know, I do know she needs help NOW!
Stay Safe and Get Well Nicole!

2837 days ago


The "Nicole Story" seems to just become worse and worse. Thank God she did NOT hit another car ...with the possibly that an entire family could have been killed!! If a person knowingly takes medication (whether or not) it (medication) is even prescribed for them; they need to KNOW what the side effects ARE and if the side effects are such a lethal combination (Vicodin and pot combined)...anyhow the person should have a "driver" (on the payroll or on "speed-dial" on their cell phone) "24/7" to get them from one event to another...whether it is from party to party or party to their friend's house...!! As "teeny", tiny as Nicole is...just one or the other (vicodin or pot) could have killed her...let alone her (Nicole) being behind the wheel of a car! Maybe now her immediate family (namely, her dad, Lionel) can get her into some REHAB...and pray that she (Nicole) stays for more than a couple of hours and then "checks herself out" AMA (Against Medical Advice)!! I know that Nicole is of legal age and can make her own decisions....but those decisions do not seem to be working out for her lately! Now that Nicole's DUI is the state of California, maybe she will not be able to just check herself in and out of a REHAB at "will" ??!! She ought to be in a "residential program" for a period of time. I'd think that it would be easier for her to make the commitment to "stay in REHAB" if given a "Mandatory choice" : "In-Patient REHAB" or "Jail Time" !! It is not like the first time Nicole has been in "trouble"...she has had several episodes with the law!! Good Luck Nicole

2837 days ago
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