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Spade's Swingin' Solo

2/2/2007 6:55 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF

David Spade is no longer parking his car at Heather Locklear's Melrose Place. The funnyman admits that he's currently single, meaning America's hottest prime-time bitch is on the hunt for a new nerd.

Spade also says he understands the bewilderment surrounding the former couple's pairing, telling Ellen DeGeneres, "She's got a great vibe about her ... I don't have to tell you why I like her, I think everyone's confused the other way." His self-effacing powers of deductive reasoning are astounding.

On Monday's "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," Spade takes a few jabs at Lindsay Lohan as well -- saying she went to a "fake rehab" where she can "go to a bar at night, it's like your house ... that sounds fun!"

29 COMMENTS

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1.

Sunshine all Day Long!    

Farrah, I am black and I think that your comments are stupid. Who cares? It is not necessary to insult people because they are white (i.e., calling them racist crackers) You are the Racist and you are childish. Stop the foolishness and keep your ignorant comments to yourself. I really dont see the point nor do I understand your hatred. Give me a break, all black people do not feel like you. As far as your comment "Man originated from Africa" ---let the truth be told--Man originated from Adam ---We are all the same. You are no different from the Klan-spreading uneducated hatred with half truths. Grow UP!!

2700 days ago
2.

coco puff    

I just want to remind all my brothers and sisters that this is Black history month. We have a lot to be proud of. Did you know that we invented fire, the wheel, farming/agriculture and language. The RACIST crackers do not want you all to know this. Man actually originated from Africa. My fight against RACISM will never end. Power to the people! NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE!!!

2733 days ago
3.

Hot Carl    

Wtf does that have to do with David Spade?

And BTW Farrah, do you know WHY February is Black History month???

BECASUE ITS THE SHORTEST MONTH OF THE YEAR!!!!

EVERY OTHER MONTH IS WHITE HISTORY MONTH!!!

And besides, we all know that religion always pointed to the Middle East as the place where man originated.... Yup, you heard right, those Arabs you hate so much you stupid bitch.

Maybe if you had past a 6th grade education you would know these things!

2733 days ago
4.

JULIE    

TOO F***IN' FUNNY HOT KARL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2733 days ago
5.

lila    

lmao david,, fake rehab
and everyone laughed, what a joke whorehan is

hes right about herpes hilton shes like teflon girl, just shakes everything off and goes on and doesnt care

2733 days ago
6.

Veronica    

Is David Spade Ellen's twin sister ? He looks like he has a vagina !!

2733 days ago
7.

He's Boring now    

And You Are?....

Faggot let his friend Chris Farley die, how dare he speak of anyone in rehab...f***stick.

2733 days ago
8.

Sand In My Crack    

Porking Heather Locklear was probably the high point in his life...If he can steal Denise from that Sambora dude he'll be my hero.

If Farrah was an ice cream flavor..she'd be called Pralines and DICK.

2733 days ago
9.

the wise old owl    

It's good these 2 are not together anymore. I'm sure he encouraged Heather's partying ways. She needs to find someone more grounded and who is DONE partying. David Spade reminds me of Andy Dick. Emotionally immature, noncommittal and heavy into drugs.

Heather's heavy partying and past lifestyle are starting to reek havoc on her face. BOTOX can only help so much. It can't freshen up years of drinking, doing drugs and staying up all night.. It produces a " fake " artificial look. Not a pretty sight when the camera's move in for a close up.

Instead of picking out rockers and actors she should switch to professional atheletes. At least they have to keep themselves drug free and in tip top shape. ( after all look what happened to Richie body ) TIME FOR SOME MAJOR LIFE CHANGES. When your pushing 50 you can't continue to party like you're still 20 without having some negative side effects.

2733 days ago
10.

Sand In My Crack    

Gee Whiz wise old windbag..nice to have you back. I missed reading all your pearls of wisdom. I'm glad you know how to fix everyone else's life..I was just wondering about the "Heather's heavy partying" part. I never see photos of her out till the wee hours. I'll bet she'll look better at 50 than you did when you were 16..so STFU.

2733 days ago
11.

Angel    

FARRAH, YOU ARE NOT BLACK YOU STUPID ASS! I'm pissed that I wasn't the first one to think of that (good job whoever that was), but it's true. You aren't black you retard. We do not go around calling people crackers. As a matter a fact the only black person I've ever heard do that is Chris Rock. And if you were really a black revolutionary like you claim to be who knows that our species began in Africa (it's amazing that you got that right), you would refer to us as African Americans, or people of African descent, or even colored people. BUT YOU WOULD NOT SAY BLACK. I've never heard a true revolutionary call themselves black! And I'm not your sister bitch!

2733 days ago
12.

We, are not amused.    

Capital One #6:
Unfortunatly Chris Farley was that "irrestible force" one studies in physics class, no one could have stopped the dude on the highway to hell! Anyway, wasn't he with some whore that got tired of watching him do dope and left his pleading ass to die alone?

2733 days ago
13.

We, are not amused.    

"Party on Garth"
"Farrah"
"Ellis".
"Freedy jr."
"WBC"...whatever. I like you and I find your posts very informative and thought provoking: but then again, I like burning urination upon awaking in the morning!

2733 days ago
14.

Kathie is a phony    

What the hell is with Heather Locklear? Saw her on tv the other night and her face looks like it has been shot full of play doh! Those are some big ass cheek implants she's sporting these days! And she has more botox in her than the desert has sand! If she tries to do anything else to that face of hers, it's going to explode! Somebody ought to tell her 46 year old ass that she can't look 26 forever!

2733 days ago
15.

We, are not amused.    

Say what you will, David Spade is one very humorous dude!
I bet everytime he had to stand on that milk crate and starting bangin' that Heather Locklear, he was thinking..."This ISN"T a dream, and when I wake up I'm gonna hold her head under the covers and make her smell my farts, and she will LAUGH and LAUGH, then she'll brush the hair out of her face and polish my knob:
LIFE IS GOOD!"

2733 days ago
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