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This Week's Biggest Losers


2/3/2007 5:03 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

There's still time to lay down a side bet on whether or not Prince's pants will split during the Super Bowl halftime show. But quite frankly, there's about as much chance of that happening as there is of Prince dedicating "Sign o' the Times" to one of these folks:

Paris HiltonParis Hilton: Joe Francis is spilling the beans about her oral sex skills on Howard Stern; reports from the set of "The Hottie and the Nottie" suggest you're flubbing your lines. Late in the week you managed to top all that via the release of another grainy video on the Internet, courtesy of that joker who turned the contents of your storage locker into Instead of night vision, this one is in stereophonic fright vision, with you uttering both the Isaiah Washington F-word and the Michael Richards N-word while dancing the night away with sister Nicky and some frat boys. Hot it's not, and more than likely, by the time this Z List hits the TMZ website, you will have already humbly offered up the A-word to make amends. We never thought we'd say this, but it's actually better for you to put a boyfriend in your mouth than your own foot.

Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan: This week's chapter in the lurid life of LiLo was more like a whole book, one we'll title "Lindsay in Wonderland." Instead of the Mad Hatter, it's crazy poppa, sharing an open love letter from his East coast jail cell in the pages of In Touch magazine. Instead of the Cheshire Cat disappearing into the nether, it's you, opting out from the set of your Annette Bening movie, "A Woman of No Importance." And to top it all off, after you text-messaged Brody Jenner from rehab about your fondness for beefcake with cheese, now reports say that Iron Mike is moving into Wonderland. If word leaks that the heart of this pop tart is newly set on that Knave of Hearts, we will have no choice but to chime in with the Lewis Carroll refrain: "Off with her head!"

Scott BaioScott Baio: For years and years, Chachi has been a surprising modicum of class, refusing to kiss and tell when people slobbered over his long and very impressive list of Hollywood girlfriends. Even in the face of a worshipping Jimmy Kimmel, Baio sheepishly dodged requests for juicy details. But that's all history now that the actor is shopping around his autobiography, "BaioWatch: How I Dated and Loved Hollywood's Most Beautiful Women and Ended Up Alone." Radar Magazine leaked some details last week, and now the rest of the media is catching up, agog that Pam Anderson's boob job scared the sock hop lothario away. Liza Minnelli may have wanted your sperm, and those Playboy mansion partiers your crotch, but we'd rather just wait for the TV movie starring ... you?

Lauren NelsonLauren Nelson: On Monday, this Miss Oklahoma was crowned Miss America. And no one cared. We hate to reference Joe Francis twice in the same Z List (!), but his "Girls Gone Wild" franchise is partly responsible for the ongoing defection of TV viewers from traditional beauty pageants. People no longer want to hear a beautiful blonde talk about world peace; they want to hear a beautiful blonde share a very personal piece of her world. Thursday's Matt Lauer interview with disgraced Miss USA Tara Conner is the one that counted, offering up all the staples of a 21st Century celebrity apology (sobriety, dysfunctional childhood, steely resolve...). So for all those beauties seeking their 15 minutes of high-heeled fame, remember: better smashed than sashed!

Jennifer LopezJennifer Lopez: She looks mighty fine in that new Spanish-language music video for her single "Que Hiciste." But when she rolls into a recording studio, it can sometimes cause music industry executives to mutter, "Ay Caramba!" Reports surfaced this week that J.Lo preceded an L.A. recording session with three pages of rider demands, covering everything from puffy Cuban bread to Warren Beatty-style flattery lighting. True, it stopped short of any Church of Scientology related demands -- a faith J.Lo is rumored to be looking into. But trust us, girl; you'd look good even if the lighting was coming from a lone security guard's flashlight.

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paris hilton must die

2819 days ago


Paris is an animal!She is the one who is a real animal!No feeling for nobody no respect even for herself!In her family women are used to earn monney by showing their sex so she could have done something better than just being a monkey!Representing her family interrest being on a porn movie!She isn't talented she's just pay to be famous!Spears has got a real voice, and had it since ever!

2819 days ago


Someone sugested she only used the N-word singing along to a song or joking that her sister was her "N-word" - well, that's NOT THE CASE.

She uses it as a clearly racist term, describing something/someone as looking like it/he "just got fucked by ten niggers".

She seems friendly and dances with guys, then walks over to the person with the camera and (very negatively) calls them "faggots" behind their back, "joking" that they probably "want to fuck her boyfriend".

When she has to point out a friend (who is talking to an Asian guy) she describes him as the guy talking "to the chink".

It isn't a matter of being "bratty" at all. "Bratty" can be kind of cute.
And it certainly isn't a matter of her "being ironic". She's just a hick.

Honestly, I would have thought that with her family's money and her international travel she'd be somewhat sophisticated - but she isn't AT ALL.

I feel ridiculously naive for having thought so, now.

She conforms to the worst stereotypes of someone from a small, segregated town in the deep south.
If you just heard the audio, and someone told you she's the daughter of a KKK member, you'd have no problem believing it. She exhibits the same kind of lifelong, ingrained, casual racism.

I wasn't a fan or a non-fan, and her previous behavior didn't bother me - but I sure won't pay her any attention now.

I can't see her teen fan base taking this v ery well.

2819 days ago

paris's cottage chhese but f*ck and many more tales'    

Kitson unveils 'team herpes t-shirts' and team i get butt f***ed for coke' tshirts haha how funny would that be. See paris wearing that

2819 days ago


Karma is a bitch hey Herpes Hilton

2819 days ago

Mad Balls    

Well looks like the paris squad beat me to this one . Excuse me for interupting your intillectual discussion . TMZ SUXKS !!
....and so do you knobs . You missed the easy joke !! There's Paris picking her new best friend ! Its funny ...don't tell me its ' snot . NARDY NAR na ..he he

2819 days ago


F*** u Parisite, YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY OUT! you sick bitch.

My two dauhters who are 11 and 12 think u are absolute garbage and so do all their friends, they sit around talking about what a cow you are. Well I guess kids are getting smarter these days huh, once everyone knows the whole truth about u u racist, slag, whore, bitch of a skank know one on earth will give u the time of day.

YOU ARE F***ED BITCH! get used to it.

2819 days ago


It's official people, PARISITE HAS HERPES AND FLEAS AND CRABS AND WHO KNOWS SHE PROBABLY HAS SYPHILUS TOO, she probably got that off tom cruise. Ewe what a dirty mole it makes me want to go take a shower just looking at her skanky picture.

2819 days ago

stupid story    

TMZ, once again I'm proud of you. But tell me... WHY is this post and the commen "Paris the Bigot? Hilton
Drops the N-Bomb, F-Bomb" deleted from your site?? I just gotta know, i just gotta know. Is that because of Parasite's powerfull mediapeople?? The Hilton family???Put that post "Paris the Bigot? Hilton
Drops the N-Bomb, F-Bomb" , from friday february 2nd in the morning back on please. There is freedom of speech is there????
These were mine comments and they were also deleted together with that post:
Your comments: Yeehaaa!!!!I'm proud of TMZ now.... i was wondering for days why
Richards was being bashed, and Isiah... and Mel, and WHY THE HELL no
other mainstream media was reporting about Parisite's idiotic singing
(or cat killing) about Jappy girls .... and 2 N-z and Ch***nk (asians)
and F....ts.Finally TMZ, two weeks late , reports about
this..... much later than Dlisted and Best Week ever and other
blogs.But better late than never....Parasite is nasty dumb biggot and
hopefully her 15 minutes are ovah!!!!!

2819 days ago

gtood luck brit    

I really hope ppl stop thinking she is so wonderful and shes a nice girl and that now. Some people are so naive and no judge of character. i knew from day 1 this bitch was a backstabbing lying cow.
I just hope she fades into insignificance, and i know me posting this doesnt help. But it needs to be said. This airhead is a herpes (and who knows what else) infested cheap crack whore, who has serious issues, displays signs of daddy issues.
I would feel sorry for her if she wasnt such a egotistical bitch.

the big problem here is that kids look up to her and think they can get famous by being sluts, and bitchy people that only care about themselves.

2819 days ago

gtood luck brit    

"I have to agree with the comment above-------
Honestly, I would have thought that with her family's money and her international travel she'd be somewhat sophisticated - but she isn't AT ALL. "

She acts very immature for her age and for someone so well travelled. Her antics make her seem like a teen- ie- Hacking into Lindsays phone, the firecrotch incident!

And anyone that thinks shes a good business woman must realise she makes no decisions hersel she has a very expensive lawyer, PR- Elliot mintz and business team that daddy set her up with. Its her only redeeming hope, shes a dumass

2819 days ago

Lenn K    

Paris is vile and is a racist and a gay basher, but she is rich the media will let her slide just like the XXX rated video. J-Lo is just nasty and Marc Anthony left his beautiful wife for this fat ass slug.

2819 days ago


Hey Paris,
On your way out the door, grab that other bottom feeder Nicole Richie too - good riddenace!!

2819 days ago

Finally exposed - shes a wierdo    

Paris "If I only had a brain" DULL-ton is a skank ho WITH HERPES, HERPES, HERPES. Apparently, little miss "that's hot" has only one marketable skill: giving BJ's. Just goes to show that all her money can't buy her a brain or the slightest bit of class. Paris DULL-ton must die; the sooner the better.

Jennifer Lopez ain't much better. She's a total drama queen.

2819 days ago

my opinion    

Paris is not sophisticated for several reasons. She is an uneducated high school drop out with no sense of conscious due to severe mental problems. Being outrageous is her only way of acquiring validation. Her Hilton name or perceived wealth have nothing to do with the classless degenerate she is.

2819 days ago
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