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"Lost" Diary -- Tricia Tanaka Is Dead

3/1/2007 11:45 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

Hey, it's Daniel from TMZ here, back with another edition of the "Lost" Diary.

I have come up with the theory that there are four times when I am super-mega excited for an episode of "Lost": a season premiere, a season finale, the week after a great episode and the week after a terrible one. So since last week's ep was such a dud, consider me super-mega excited for this week.

For all you "Lost" Diary newbies, here's how it goes. I gather with a group of friends watching "Lost," writing what happens on the show as it happens, and throwing in my two cents along the way. This week the usual crew of Ari, Lauren and Matt is back together. Let's roll:

10:00 -- Cheech is Lil' Hurley's dad, and apparently, he thinks you can fix cars just by wishing. He's been hanging around Chong too much if you ask me.

10:01 -- Lil' Hurley's dad sneaks him a candy bar. So of all the mysteries of "Lost," is this the episode where we learn why Hurley is fat? Food isn't love, little guy.



10:02 -- Odds Hurley is talking to Libby's grave?

10:03 -- Too easy.

10:04 -- Charlie is shaving on the beach. Gee, I hope he doesn't nick an artery ...

10:05 -- Hurley thinks he might be the reason that Charlie is going to die. Note to self: send Hurley some sausages as a thank you present.

10:06 -- Vincent returns holding an arm, which is holding a rabbit's foot and a key. That doesn't even make the top 20 list of weirdest things that have happened on this show. Hell, that's downright normal.

10:07 -- Did Hurley just find a car?

10:09 -- Tricia Tanaka is reporting on Hurley buying Mr. Cluck's, and the title of this episode is, "Tricia Tanaka Is Dead." Hmmm, I am not liking Tricia's chances here.

10:10 -- Actually, I don't like her chances of coming out of that chicken joint alive.

10:11 -- Poor Tricia, we hardly knew ya.

10:12 -- Hurley just found the van from "Little Miss Sunshine," except it's blue instead of yellow and instead of Greg Kinnear and Alan Arkin inside, it has dead Dharma workers .

10:13 -- Ugh, the new people. Why, J.J.? Why?

10:14 -- No one wants any part of Hurley and his blue van, except for Jin, who can't speak English. Even the stupid new people bailed.

10:15 -- At this point, if Sawyer and Kate are on screen -- and NOT having sex -- Lauren is disappointed. I can only assume she speaks for most women on this one.

10:16 -- Kate wants Sawyer to say he's sorry. Maybe it's just the guy in me, but I have no clue what he has to apologize for.

10:17 -- Kate and Sawyer arrive back at camp, congratulated by tons of people we've never seen before. Touching. Where are Rose and Bernard?

10:20 -- "Tricia Tanaka is dead." -- Hurley. Well said.

10:21 -- Hey dad, where you been the last 17 years? Oh, a fat joke? Thanks for that, pops. Good to see you.

10:22 -- "Dude, I suck at charades. You wanna what?" -- Hurley. Best line I have heard so far by someone who couldn't understand Jin.

10:23 -- "I have a right to know when I'm gonna die." -- Charlie. I have a right to know too, since I have that big party to plan when it happens. Yes, you're all invited -- but it's BYOB.

10:24 -- Alright, don't tell anyone this, but the Sawyer-Hurley-Jin reunion choked me up just a bit.

10:25 -- Ok, Kate is telling Sayid that Jack said he told Sawyer and her not to come back, because he sacrificed himself so they could escape. That's bull. I am telling you: Jack doesn't want them to mess with his "going home" and he doesn't want to face them again because he'll feel guilty. Now is probably the time to tell you I am almost never right with any theory I have about "Lost." Just thought you should know.

10:26 -- How much of this season has been spent watching one person explain something that already happened -- and that we already knew -- to someone else?

10:27 -- Kate is going for help. Rousseau, anyone?

10:30 -- Hurley looks really happy that his dad is home.

10:31 -- When Hurley's mom says "Hugo" like "Hoogo," I kinda giggle a bit every time. New rule: whenever Hurley's mom is around, I will refer to him as Hoogo. Starting ...

10:32 -- Now. Hoogo's mom wants some Cheech lovin'. Good for her.

10:33 -- "What's up with all this recycling?" -- Sawyer. Hmmm, lines like that usually aren't said for no reason.

10:34 -- Take your bets, will the car start? I am going with a resounding no.

10:35 -- The correct answer was "not even close." We would have also excepted "absolutely not." Thanks for playing.

10:36 -- Did Sawyer just "cheers" with that guy's skull?

10:39 -- I hate being awakened in the morning, but being awakened by Cheech would be a welcome change of pace.

10:40 -- Odds the psychic predicts doom and danger in Hurley's future? I am going with hells yes, and done so with terrible over-acting.

10:41 -- The correct answer was darkness and tragedy, mixed in with a stupid curse-removal ritual, which was all fake because Hurley's dad is a scumbag.

10:43 -- "Let's look death in the face and say, 'Whatever, man.'" -- Hurley. William Wallace, he ain't.

10:44 -- Sawyer shouldn't be teaching anyone English.

10:45 -- And Hurley shouldn't try insulting people. Redneck man? Weak.

10:46 -- Ok, seriously -- now "Lost" really has turned into "Little Miss Sunshine." Hurley is Greg Kinnear (the over-positive one), Sawyer is Alan Arkin (the wiseass) and Jin is the son who doesn't speak.

10:50 -- So what are the odds Charlie volunteers to drive the car down the hill? I say yes, followed by some stupid speech about cheating death. Followed by him succeeding and not dying. Followed by me hurling expletives at the TV.

10:51 -- Charlie volunteers to ride shotgun. 0 for 1.

10:52 -- "Victory or death." -- Charlie. Kinda cheesy speech. 1 for 2.

10:53 -- Hurley is closing his eyes and repeating, "There is no curse. You make your own luck." If you were wondering the exact moment this episode lost me, this is it.

10:54 -- Car starts, Charlie doesn't die. 2 for 3.

10:55 -- Sawyer and Jin jump into the car, kinda like they do in "Little Miss Sunshine."

10:56 -- "F&^@_!*$@#^!)&!!@!$!" -- me. 3 for 4.

10:58 -- What the hell was Sayid talking about with the light hitting Mr. Eko's stick and leading them to the Others? Did I black out when that happened? One last prediction: Kate tells Rousseau about Alex.

10:59 -- Too easy.

Okay, so what did we learn this week? Everyone on this show has daddy issues ... Hurley wasn't always fat ... When we're not looking, Sayid and Locke use Eko's Jesus stick as an Others compass.

After last week's debacle, I was looking forward to a return to form. Did I get it? Let's just say I will be typing that sentence again next week. This episode was almost as bad as the week before. But it did give me the gift of Hoogo, so I will give it a D+. Nothing happened, our story didn't move forward, and the flashbacks didn't reveal anything interesting.

But now an even more important issue has been raised; I used to never watch promos for "Lost" -- I either left the room or covered my ears and closed my eyes when they came on. I never want to know anything that is going to happen the following week. But to make myself more educated on all things "Lost," I started watching them.

You know what? They don't tell you s**t. In fact, they lie to you completely. Last week was about the three mysteries. This week was something about "If you don't watch, you won't know what everyone is talking about the next day." Hey ABC, you know what I'm talking about today? How much your promos suck!!!

So here is the question of the week: I am going back to avoiding all commercials and promos like the plague. Are you with me?

See you next week.

132 COMMENTS

No Avatar
16.

Stacie    

If you get past the fact that nothing really changed, I enjoyed the episode. I hollered when the metor hit the Cluck restruant!! That was so goood!! I agree about the new people. I don't like them. They haven't really done anything or said anything worth while.
As for the litter in the truck, when and will they look closer at that. Wasn't that a map Sawyer found? A map with a Road on it? And where did the van come from? Looks like when Hurley told everyone he had found a van they would have all gone running. Maybe they have gotten used to being on the island and don't want to leave.
Since Alex is the french lady's daugher does that mean that she knows Ben? Or did Ben just steal a baby and raise it as his?
This week didn't answer any questions, but it did give me more to ask. Maybe at least one will be answered next week- I wouldn't keep my fingers crossed though.

2702 days ago
17.

Chris Kilkelly    

Love the column...read it every week. I USED to LOVE this show, but during the last couple of episodes, I swear I will not watch anymore. They need to speed up the show...SOMETHING needs to happen. The flashbacks, which were so neat to begin with, are wearing thin because of misuse. Instead of a flashback occuring in the middle of ACTION, they are just occuring without ginving us any more info. about the charactes. I mean, what did we learn last night...Hurley has a weight issue and thinks he is bad luck. We still don't know why he :needed" to go to Australlia.

Line of the show..."Skeletor"

Keep the column coming!

Thanks,

Chris

2702 days ago
18.

Melanie    

Dude that episode was pure entertainment.

Sawyer is by far the best written and acted character. Jumbotron and Jiminy Cricket line was hilarious.

2702 days ago
19.

me    

Yes, I too wonder where Bernard and Rose are. Wtf? Do the writers think we would just forget? And whoever put together the promos should be fired. All the promos are is a
tease. It should be "Look what we ARE NOT going to show next week" not the other way around.

However, I think for as lame as the ep was in not giving anymore info, it was very funny. How funny was it that Sawyer refered to Roger work man as "skelator"? A Heman refernce? That was pretty cool.

But, I must say I am getting tired of the run around. Every time lost is over I say "That's it. I'm done!" But then I still watch. I can't quite now.

As for Eko's stick....Remember the ep
when Locke and Sayid found Eko's body? Wasn't there something written on the stick about john and looking up? Or some kind of scripture that lead Locke to see where the others were or something? I can't really remember exactly.

Thanks for writing your "Lost Diary" it really is the best. Even if the show has not been.

2702 days ago
20.

TheGinger    

i think LOST is getting boring!! i remember when it first came on, i couldn't wait until next weeks episode.. Now i have to keep reminding myself to set the DVR on record so i can skim through it.. nothing makes sense anymore on LOST. the storyline is getting alittle stupid to me.. what happened to the monster? or the polar bears?

2702 days ago
21.

kristy    

the only thing that was good about LOST last night was the humor...it was the funniest episode of LOST that I have seen...other then that, they could have shown a re-run because it did not do anything for the major storylines...so Hurley isn't really cursed??? How do you explain the numbers being such an important part of the LOSTIES misery???

2702 days ago
22.

Lulu    

I loved this weeks episode. I agree that it is always more fun when we find stuff out, but I found myself actually smiling a couple of different times in this episode and I couldn't help it. This show is like a good book, you want to know the end result but you don't want to finish it. Some shows are good, some shows aren't so fun, but you take the good with the bad. I for one love this show.

2702 days ago
23.

Misty    

Last night was horrible. I kept watching the clock wondering when something good was going to happen, then it was over. How dissappointing.

2702 days ago
24.

Rocket    

I gotta think you were way to tough on this episode. Loved it. Felt right, good mix of humor, non-humor, giving questions, getting some answers and progression of the storyline.

2702 days ago
25.

Jack Schitt    

Did I miss something? I remember last season Hurley's flashback was that he did not tell anyone he had the winning lotto ticket.?? HUH?? I can't keep up with the spacey writers. Whew!! TV used to be fun too watch. Give me Sienfeld & Married with childern I'm content LMAO W. B.

2702 days ago
26.

No Longer A Lost Fan    

The only thing I found remotely interesting about this episode was Sawyer teaching Jin the "three things every man should know when talking to a woman" -- and one of them was "I'm sorry" and one was "You are right" -- two things Sawyer wouldn't say if Torquemada had his head in the guillotine.

Otherwise this episode moved from infuriating to merely boring. I look forward to seeing Hurley run over Kate and Rousseau. I'm also waiting for someone to make note of the Freshman-Philosophy-Core-Course-Reference vis-a-vis naming that crazy woman Rousseau.

2702 days ago
27.

Belle    

This epi was waaayyy too predictable.

I have to thank Hurley and Sawyer for the one-liners, it kept me awake. I hope that with Kate telling Rousseau about Alex, Rousseau will go kick some major A$$!!

Wishful thinking, I know, but wouldn't that be awesome!!??

Also, why is there this sudden introduction of older actors? Did we run out of younger ones? Cheech?! Really?! Are we that desperate?!

Someone shed some light on this epi, any easter eggs, I missed or was Cheech one of them?! LOL!!

2702 days ago
28.

Lori    

I really do not understand what everyone is suppose to be talking about today. The only part of it that I liked was the last two minutes. I really thought that this episode sucked just as bad as the week before.

2702 days ago
29.

Billy Ray    

I love reading your diary. One thing you need to add is every rad nickname Sawyer gives the cast. This week calling the Head of "Rodger" Skelator was one of the funniest nicknames yet. Other examples; Jin (chewie), Michael (Han), Hugo (Jabba), Kate (Freckels), Jack (Amirilo Slim), and so on and so on. I think you could do a diary of just nicknames. Also, yes I will keep watching the promos, just for the fact they will never spoil anything. I do think that this weeks episode was pointless in the way of info, but it was a fun episode. With the last few episode's being as weak as they were I needed a liitle fun. Keep writting, I'll keep reading.

2702 days ago
30.

buddha00man    

dude no way dude....man this episode was like one long beer commercial....... intermixed w/ a kid that lost his dad, got fat, won some money, & has bad luck. of all the strange things that have happened on the island im still trying to figure out the whole how the van started thing ie, battery, gas, tires just to name a few. dont want to get to nit picky but the shot of the dog holding the arm didnt match up w/ the next shot....but anyway im slowly losing hope for this show if this is what we get instead of reruns...i think ill take the reruns & i also agree i dont like the promos or ads they never seem to meet the expectations & abc just lies!!

2702 days ago
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