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"Lost" Diary -- 3/29

3/29/2007 3:12 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Hey, it's Daniel from TMZ here, back with another edition of the "Lost" Diary.

Not sure how many sports fans we have here on TMZ, but let me make an analogy for you. After two amazing episodes of "Lost," I have been walking around as if my favorite team just won the championship. I've got a permanent smile on my face, I talk trash to people who don't watch the show -- I am even close to getting a jersey with the numbers "4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42" written on the back. My show is the best and I know it! Bring on all challengers!

For all you "Lost" Diary newbies, here's how it goes. I gather with a group of friends watching "Lost," writing what happens on the show as it happens, and throwing in my two cents along the way. This week it's just me and Ari, so I'll have to imagine what Lauren would say every time Sawyer comes on screen. Let's roll:

10:00 -- Starting off right in the thick of it, Nikki is frantically burying something. If I am going to have to watch a whole episode of Nikki and Paulo, it better be good.

10:01 -- Ok, Nikki as a stripper is a step in the right direction. You never realize how attractive someone is when you spend all your time wishing they never existed.



10:02 -- We just watched a scene from the worst television show ever, "Exposé." But I guess if Nikki were in a bikini each week, I might tune in.

10:03 -- But any sexiness she had just went out the window when she kissed that old guy. That's probably what Anna Nicole and that Howard Marshall guy were like.

10:04 -- I'll let my good friend Hurley describe what just happened: "Dude, Nikki's dead."

10:07 -- It's 84 days ago, and Paulo is Nikki's boyfriend's chef. It's funny that Nikki's grandpa -- I mean boyfriend -- says he is the Wolfgang Puck of Brazil, since Rodrigo Santoro (who plays Paulo) is referred to as "the Brazilian Tom Cruise." Which is weird, because even Tom Cruise doesn't suck this bad.

10:08 -- Uh oh, looks like Gramps won't make it. And Nikki and Paulo don't look that shocked ...

10:09 -- ... because they killed him to get whatever was in his safe. Razzle-frickin-dazzle. So far if I could grade the writing of this episode, it would be an F.

10:10 -- Sun, Charlie, Sawyer and Hurley are turning into the gang from "Scooby-Doo." Did Nikki say "Paulo lies" as her dying words? Couldn't tell.

10:11 -- Watching Nikki and Paulo in the airport, I am trying really hard not to hate them, but I can't. And do you know why?

10:12 -- Because I would sooooo prefer Shannon and Boone! Good to see them back, even if it is just in a flashback. By the way, when the producers of "Lost" called the reps for Maggie Grace and Ian Somerhalder to ask them to come back, how fast do you think they said "yes"? Five seconds? Ten seconds?

10:13 -- Ok, now we're getting flashbacks from the pilot, only Nikki and Paulo are now mixed in. This is like watching "Back to the Future II" and seeing scenes we already saw before, just from a different angle.

10:14 -- Hey it's Artz! Dude, you've got some Artz on you!

10:15 -- And now Paulo is dead too. While I am kind of happy that Nikki and Paulo are dead, I kind of hope the rest of this episode does something to explain why they were even introduced on the show in the first place.

10:17 -- The Lost Detective Agency is working "The Case of the Dead Cast Members Nobody Liked."

10:18 -- It's 75 days ago now, and Ethan is milling around the camp and Jack is giving an inspirational speech. Ah, the good ol' days.

10:21 -- It's 57 days ago and Nikki is breaking out "the girls" to get Artz to help her find the missing bag and whatever she stole from Gramps.

10:22 -- Paulo made the mistake of throwing the fact that Nikki slept with Gramps in her face. If there is one thing you never do, it's remind your girlfriend she had to sleep with an old guy -- that you later poisoned -- in order to get close enough to steal from him. They don't like that.

10:23 -- Nikki and Paulo found the plane that Boone died in ... and the Pearl hatch. Man, if only someone had actually talked to these people for the first month or so on the island, then they might have actually learned something.

10:24 -- The Lost Detective Agency is still on the case. While Hurley goes on about "Exposé," Sawyer finds a walkie-talkie belonging to the Others. Well maybe there is hope for this episode yet.

10:29 -- It's now 48 days ago, and Kate is explaining to Shannon and Artz where they found the suitcase of guns -- which Nikki hopes will lead to the missing case. We're at the halfway point of the episode and I have to admit that I am not feeling this at all.

10:30 -- Nikki is trying to get Paulo to dive into the water to look for the case. She's not exactly the most likable woman I ever met.

10:31 -- Paulo finds the missing case (of course) but lies about it (of course). Whatever is in that case better have a Dharma logo or the numbers on it or something.

10:32 -- While the group is talking about Nikki and Paulo, Sun mentions the time the Others kidnapped her -- only it was really Charlie. And based on the guilty looks of Charlie and Sawyer -- and the fact that we saw Sun punch Sawyer in the promos -- I'd say she's going to learn it was them before we're done here. (Note: I know, I know; I said I wasn't going to watch promos anymore. But I didn't even watch this one. People told me about it.)

10:33 -- It's now 32 days ago and Paulo is chomping away at nicotine gum and trying to bury the mystery doll in the sand, but Locke catches him. Locke is his early season two, jovial self. Miss that guy.

10:34 -- So Paulo decides to hide the mystery item back at the Pearl station. Ari remembers that Paulo snuck into the bathroom of the Pearl when he was there later on, presumably to fetch what he just hid. How did he remember that?

10:35 -- But before Paulo can leave, Juliet and Henry Gale show up, talking about how they are going to get Jack to perform the surgery.

10:36 -- "Same way I get anyone to do anything. I find out what he's emotionally invested in and then I exploit it." -- Henry Gale. He was on screen for like a minute and he was better than everyone else in this episode combined. Long live Henry Gale! Oh, and now we know how Paulo found the walkie-talkie, so there won't be any cool reveal about that. You hear that noise? That's the sound of this episode sucking.

10:37 -- So Nikki and Sawyer were arguing earlier? Interesting.

10:41 -- The Lost Detective Agency is hard on the case, with Hurley pointing fingers at Sawyer. Meanwhile, now it's just Sun and Charlie by the grave site. Wonder if he'll confess now ...

10:42 -- Yeah, that was kind of easy. I don't know why Charlie confessed. Bad Idea Jeans.

10:43 -- We're up to nine days ago and we're seeing the scene where Nikki and Paulo go to the Pearl. Nothing we really haven't see before, except for Paulo retrieving the pouch.

10:44 -- Sawyer is back from "sweeping the perimeter" and the Lost Detective Agency is ready to confront him. I am half expecting them to pull back his mask and reveal he's really Henry Gale in disguise! If it wasn't for you meddling kids!

10:45 -- But it's not that interesting. Nikki was just hiding diamonds. Boring.

10:49 -- Nikki and Paulo have a sappy talk on the beach, until Nikki realizes he's lying. Still not sure how this leads to them both dying.

10:50 -- Nikki asks Sawyer for a gun, doesn't get it. Knew that.

10:51 -- Sawyer doesn't have a shirt on. Hang on for a sec while I try and channel my inner Lauren. Here goes, "I want to lick the television." How'd I do?

10:52 -- Sun confronts Sawyer about the kidnapping. When Sawyers asks Sun why she isn't going to tell Jin, she says, "Because then we'd have to dig another grave." Very true. She gives him back the diamonds and slaps him on the face. Seems like Sawyer got off easy.

10:53 -- When I die, I only want two things: 1) Prince to sing at my funeral and 2) Hurley to give my eulogy. "Um, Daniel worked for TMZ. And he wrote about this show called 'Lost.' And he was cool. And he was nice to me. And he was funny. And ..."

10:54 -- Is Sawyer really burying the diamonds with Nikki and Paulo? Come on, that's just stupid.

10:55 -- Alright, it's eight hours ago -- time to learn how Nikki and Paulo died. Ari has it figured out before it happens -- Nikki uses Artz's spider.

10:56 -- "One bite from the spider will paralyze you for about eight hours." -- Nikki. Wait a sec: didn't the graphic say this was happening eight hours ago? Oh my lord, Nikki and Paulo aren't dead!!! They are just paralyzed and Hurley and company buried them alive!!!

10:57 -- Yup, the pheromones from the female spider has attracted the male spiders and Nikki is a goner too. Have I been watching "Lost" this whole time or "The Twilight Zone"?

10:58 -- Nikki's last words were actually "para ... lyzed" and not "Paulo lies." Oops.

10:59 -- Nikki opens her eyes just as she's being buried alive.

11:00 -- Seriously, what show did I just watch?

So what did we learn? Nikki and Paulo were con artists who stole diamonds from some rich guy ... their greed was so strong, it killed both of them.

Man, this was an amazing episode ... of "Tales from the Crypt." Seriously, I feel like my show just got kidnapped by the Cryptkeeper. When does the real episode of "Lost" air this week? Is it on next? Please?

This week's show was a complete waste of time. I wanted Nikki and Paulo to die, but a whole episode for that? They should have just put a graphic up at the beginning of the show that said: "We were wrong, you were right. Nikki and Paulo sucked. Let's never mention them again." Then they could have done a completely different episode and I could have saved an hour of my life. While we can all appreciate the fact that Nikki and Paulo are dead, it was so anticlimactic that I have no clue why they were even on the show in the first place. Something tells me we haven't heard the last from them.

Now we've reached the point where I give the episode a grade, only this time I'm not. I am giving this week's show an Incomplete. I really don't see the purpose of this episode at all. So, I am hoping that in some way, at some point down the road, it will be revealed.

Here's my question to you this week: Over the last several weeks, we have seen "Lost" at its best and its worst. Can you pinpoint one thing that makes for a good episode of "Lost?" I'll give you my answer next week.

169 COMMENTS

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91.

Belle    

Its was a fun episode, the funny "crime solving" team of Hurley and Sawyer. SAWYER: shirtless....WOW! Lesson of the day: "what comes around, goes around" and the island made Nikki and Paolo pay for what they did to the old guy. But we already knew that. So in essence, from what someone else posted earlier, the good people are "rewarded" for being good, by being "healed" in some way (i.e., Locke being able to walk again, Rose being healed from her cancer) and the bad people are punished or being tested (i.e., Ana Lucia, Nikki, Paolo, etc etc.) Maybe. Just a thought...

So, Daniel, to answer your question, I believe that Locke, Ben, Jack, Sayid, Sawyer and lots of Easter Eggs make for good Lost episodes. Especially the easter eggs, I think I spend more time reflecting on the episodes looking for stuff to link to other characters. Makes for fun times (like I have nothing else to do!!!!).

Daniel, keep up the good work! You did a fantasic job of channeling your inner Lauren!!! LOL!!

2680 days ago
92.

Jewels    

The only good episodes of Lost are the ones with Sayid. (Without Shannon!)

2680 days ago
93.

Beth    

Ok so when the show began with a flashback of Nikki’s life, I had to turn the channel to make sure I was definitely watching Lost because I had no idea who she was.....it took me a few minutes to get re-oriented and realize yes I am watching my favorite show EVER and I am really confused why they are flashing to this chic! All in all it was an engaging episode, but I have to say that I learned two things from this episode of Lost and I am starting to get concerned:

1. Hurley is a terrible actor. He could stand some acting lessons. Seriously; and,
2. Sawyer is an arrogant actor who really brings nothing to the show, nothing, nothing whatsoever to the show.

I think Lost needs to start letting the main actors do a little bit more acting because they are getting rough and I’m not buying them in the show anymore???

Yes I agreed bring Shannon and Hotie back! Why did they have to die, why?

2680 days ago
94.

Mary Dyar    

Look, this was a good episode. Once again we see that those left behind and not taken by the others, are evil and the island has a way of evening out the score. Palo and Nikki killed the old guy and they each have their own motive to get to the diamonds. Let's face it, neither of them cared about each other, they were just using one another. In the end, all their scheming and murder came back to bitting them in the butt. I LOVED IT!! I also agree that one of them is going to live, but will it be like Pet Cemetary where the pet that dies and comes back to life is a killer dog or cat?

Daniel I agree with you about Hugo, I could just see him saying things like that at my funeral too. "Yea, she was nice, she loved her dogs and husband, had trouble with migraines, which shouldn't be a problem for her anymore. . . " I love Hugo the best because he's so real.

Daniel, I look forward to your comments each week, but lighten up a little. Each week can't be over the top. Sometimes you have to go back to the beach and chill out with survivors.

Catch ya next week!!

2680 days ago
95.

Lost in Texas    

A good episode to me ties up some loose ends while also creating more intrigue with the main story line.

This episode was bad, but I am one of those believers that all of the boring episodes and details will be important further down the road. This episode was so strange, it was almost as if it was written by totally different writers.

Would like someone to remind me of Widmore. Someone mentions it was his balloon? How did we know that? I don't remember that... also didn't remember his name on the pregnancy kit? remind me please...

also, who is the Cooper that someone mentioned Kate going to visit in Tallahassee? I can't remember. Have ordered first two seasons on NetFlix for reminders!

2680 days ago
96.

No Dignity    

Worst show of the worst season, this was a twight zone wanna be. No plot development - just a dumb show about people we don't care about. There has only been one good show in the last four (last week). At this point I am losing my will to watch future episodes. Last season I counted the hours between shows - this season has me just ticked off.

Is it me or has the quality and nature of the writing changed dramatically?

2680 days ago
97.

smirfy    

To #76 I believe Boone needed a Pen to perform an emergency Tracheotomy on an injured person. If you think back, he was assisting Jack with helping the other crash victims. In response to the rest of the episode; I think this show was an answer to get rid of the unwanted characters. BTW Love this Blog.

2680 days ago
98.

Lost in Texas    

Reading the comments and ingesting the episode further has made me change my attitude about last night. No it wasn't the greatest episode for me personally, but a few weeks back I remember a group scene (I think when Locke, Kate, Sayid were going to go for Jack) and I noticed a few people (now I recognized Nikki) that I couldn't place. I wondered at the time, "who are they?" so now I know.

It was interesting to see the group through the eyes of Nikki and Paolo and realize that they had uncovered some of the big clues (Pearl Hatch, airplane) long before anyone else.

Obviously Vincent pulled the blanket off because they aren't dead. Remember Locke told Paolo that nothing stays buried on this island...they'll get uncovered. The walkytalky is going to be of utmost importance now that they can listen.

How long is the flight from Sydney to LA supposed to be? I'm wondering because someone mentioned Shepard's dad being bitten by a spider, not really dead. He would have had to be 'paralyzed' prior to having his coffin loaded on board. He would have had to know his son was transporting him 'home'. If he is the MasterMind behind it, the plane crash was all planned, which would make me think that he is woven in the lives of each and everyone.

2680 days ago
99.

Tonya    

I totally agree that the episode was weird. I was bitching the whole way through talking about the bad writing and odd story line....but then


they were buried alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still get chills thinking about it.

ok, the only thing I think was significant in the episode was when sawyer threw the diamonds in the grave. Because sawyer being sawyer wouldnt do that....and I think this just shows how they all know they are never leaving the island.

2680 days ago
100.

Raile    

Nikki and Paulo will not die from being buried alive. Vincent the dog will dig them out (why else show the scene where he pulls the blanket off of them) and Sawyer will sift through the sand to retrive the diamonds. As Locke said "Nothing stays buried on this island."

2680 days ago
101.

Michelle    

Just a few more things:
1) Jack's dad didn't "use" the spiders to pretend he was dead unless he's been to the island before because Artz said they were indiginous to the island.

2) I've decided to stop reading other people's comments on this blog. Sometimes there are interesting tidbits and points of view that I didn't think of, but mostly it's people bitching about the epi because it was "wasted" or "pointless." I don't think you can say that without knowing what's happening. And since no one knows what's happening, then have an open mind.

3) Just an FYI about "Dharma" (kind of related to karma): Dharma is derived from the Sanskrit root dhr, "sustain, support, uphold," and has a wide range of meanings, including truth, cosmic law, reality, righteousness, correctness, integrity, duty, and caste duty. Every person has unique duties and responsibilities and this "own dharma" or Sva-dharma is unique to that person because everyone has different capacities for righteousness. This capacity is determined by one's birth, which is a result of karma, actions in a previous life. Dharma came to be closely aligned with the concept of karma, present actions determining the conditions of one's future life. Through the following centuries dharma and karma came to be strongly linked. Dharma from at least the second century BCE, as seen in the Laws of Manu, was applied to normal social life and came to mean all one's obligations by which one fits in with nature and society. This became the system of varnasramadharma.

Dharma is the guiding principle of human conduct and preserves the social, moral, and cosmic integrity of the universe. It refers to sacred duties and righteous conduct, and is related to three other spheres that collectively govern an ideal life: artha (wealth, profit, and political power); kama (love, sensuality); moksa (release, liberation).

A woman's dharma is related to her position as a wife, and she is thus given little space to define her own identity. While the social position of Hindus is determined at birth, making for a markedly rigid and stratified society.

Take that home and chew on it.

2680 days ago
102.

Scott    

Comment #27, lost108 says: "(Didn't you hear the smoke monster right before the male spiders showed up?)"

Yeah, I'm thinking this episode is all about the smoke monster... in a passive, foreboding way. Hurley kept saying monster, Jin even said monster. I don't think those lines are coincidental. And then when the monster started clicking as Paolo got paralyzed and then the male spiders showed up... what is Smokey's aggravation!? Greed? Impurity? Lying?... he doesn't like any of those things... but I feel like we're missing something even bigger.

2680 days ago
103.

Moni is lost    

If you could pass this along to Lauren. I also wanted to like the television, probably would have if my husband hadn't been there. Been a while since we had a clean (albeit sweaty) shirtless Sawyer. This can also be used as an answer to your question on one thing that makes a good show. Shirtless Sawyer never hurts!!!

2680 days ago
104.

Brendan    

OK, you guys need to start watching shows like The Sopranos or The Wire...

MUCH better dialogue-- If you guys were really blown away by that over-the-top expositional scene between Ben and Juliette, I am astounded. Unless Ben knew Paolo was there and was acting as if he didn't, that was just terrible. Juliette: "How are you going to do it? Ben: "Same way I always do..." C'mon, that sounds like it was stolen from an episode of Pinky and the Brain!

Note: I LOVE Ben, please don't get me wrong. But that scene was laughable and I can't believe you guys have learned to settle for that. Really highlights the downward spiral this show has taken...

2680 days ago
105.

huh??    

I hope they don't have either of them survive - it would be too unbelievable. It would have taken Charlie and Sawyer at least 1/2 an hour to put 5 feet of sand over the two of them, and by the time someone dug them up or they dug themselves out there is no way anyone could live that long under the sand.

They may have been paralyzed but they still have to breathe.

2680 days ago
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