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Francis to Paris: Et Tu Caesar

6/11/2007 2:07 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

TMZ received the following letter from "Girls Gone Wild" creator Joe Francis. He is currently incarcerated in Nevada:
Joe Francis and Paris Hilton booking photos
June 10, 2007

RE: "American I-Cons"

Dear TMZ,

I returned to my cell the other day after a leisurely walk through the Washoe County Detention Center yard and received a message from Deputy Keast, the Public Information Officer, that you had called. To be honest, I was hoping that my penpal, Candy Spelling, had written me again, but to my dismay I was told that you just wanted to know how I felt about Paris being released from jail early. I was then handed a TMZ.com article titled "American I-Cons". I just thought since I seem to have some extra time on my hands these days that I would like to take a moment to set the record straight.

The "American I-Cons" title is a very clever play on words, but unlike in Paris's current situation, the title does not apply to me. I am not in jail because I have been CONvicted of a crime, but am merely awaiting a chance to vindicate myself.

Paris's early release from jail did not surprise me, nor unfortunately, did her return to jail a day later. My heart goes out to Paris, not only because I consider her a friend, but because I have experienced first hand that incarceration is not set up for high-profile people. In my experience to date, when jail personnel are told to give no special treatment to an individual because of who they are, it normally results in them getting far worse treatment. I must however tell you that this has not been my experience at the Washoe County Detention Center, where my treatment has been fair and where the staff is very considerate. However, the stark reality that I've encountered in the five previous facilities I've been in is that celebrities are segregated from other inmates, and it can be quite a lonely existence with no human contact. It seems as though Paris is seeing this first hand now that she's been sent back to jail to serve her original 45 day sentence. If her name was Jane Doe and everything else in the case remained unchanged, she would never have served a day in jail. As Los Angeles County Sheriff Baca said on Friday: "The special treatment appears to be her celebrity status. She got more time in jail." I empathize with Paris, because I believe I too would not still be in jail were it not for my "high profile status."

Your story also outlined 3 other things: living conditions, food, and free time.

When you discussed my living quarters, you brought up the fact that I was in my own cell until I passed my tuberculosis test. Well, I studied hard and took a Princeton Review crash course and passed it with flying colors. I also passed my HIV test and my hepatitis test as well, so feel free to post the rest of my confidential medical history on TMZ.com, as you and others have done on in the past. I wouldn't want your readers to be getting any incomplete information.

My living arrangements are more than adequate. My cell is actually nicer than my USC dorm room. Yes, it doesn't have cable, but it doesn't have the cockroaches either.

When you discussed food, you mentioned that I was eating "catfood sandwiches, a mix of ground turkey mixed with mayo, and franks n' beans." Well, those two delectable dishes, among others, are offered free of charge to all inmates, but the WCDC also offers inmates the option to order from a local restaurant - "The Burger Barn." My diet actually consists of mostly chicken-Caesar salads with crisp romaine lettuce and half-dressing (my trainer would be proud) usually with a Diet Coke. If I really want to splurge, I may order a Powerbar or two for dessert.

This "free time" thing took me by surprise. I would love to know who gave you the information that I'm out of my cell 8 hours a day. It's probably more like half that. It is during this time that I have the fortunate privilege of meeting new "friends" such as car thieves, drug dealers and murderers. It should make for an interesting night at HYDE when the "gang" and I get back together for a reunion.

Feel free to post a mugshot or two (this one is by far the best). Blue is my color over bright orange for sure, but please remember one thing: In this country anyone who stands accused of a crime is innocent until proven guilty, even if they are a celebrity. I urge that there be no rush to judgment, because you may be wrong. I am still an innocent man standing accused, stuck in jail not because I've been CONvicted of a crime, but rather due to a legal quagmire. I have faced far worse things in the past and I am confident that I will prevail again.

Your friend,
Joe Francis
143 COMMENTS

No Avatar
76.

Heron    

Wow, it's surprisingly well-written. I'm moderately impressed with his grasp on punctuation and sentence formation - against my better judgment.

He's still a douche.

2628 days ago
77.

Leonard    

Post #73 Newsy: According to Francis' federal indictment, he is charged with two separate felony counts of vilolating Title 26 U.S.C., Section 7201.

http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode26/usc_sec_26_00007201----000-.html

Both counts carry a maximum of 5 years imprisonment plus a maximum $100K fine for an individual or a maximum fine of $500K for a corporation. If convicted, several factors will influence Francis' term of incarceration. The most important two underying factors consideried in sentencing are his prior criminal history as I already pointed out + the dollar amount involved in the offense which at $20M is considered a significant figure that will result in major "enhancements". The Guidelines have a dollar amount range, whether it be a conviction for fraud or tax evasion, that incrementally increase, The higher the dolllar amount, the greater the sentencing enhancements. The federal criminal justice system differs entirely from individual state procedures. I believe that Francis' prior criminal history is limited only to misdemeanors (at this point), however if he does have a previous felony conviction, he will not be a 'Catagory I' offender which will result in a longer sentence. Do not confuse these charges with failure to file a tax return, this is far worse especially when associated with the alleged aggravated violation of maintaining illegal offshore accounts as an integral part of the underlying offense. Trust me, I've been through this hell myself with the feds, Francis will be doing federal jail time if convicted + there is NO parole in the federal penal system which means he will have to serve at least 85% of his sentence, that's if he's a good boy. You can read Francis' entire federal criminal indictment on The Smoking Gun.

2628 days ago
78.

ww    

WTF TMZ! how many times are you gonna show this?>? give me something NEW damn it!

2628 days ago
79.

jen    

Wow! Writing to TMZ?! I guess he really has cracked. Oh & by the way Joe, you don't mess with the IRS...your troubles are only just about to begin. Bye, bye...you'll be gone for a long, long time.

2628 days ago
80.

Augustus    

An innocent man??? Joe, you are neither. They should throw away the key...or better yet, lock you in with the parents of the girls you have exploited to make your fortune. I'm sure they'll give you plenty of "High Profile Treatment."

2628 days ago
81.

Whatareyoudoing?    

As long as you both swallow, you'll be allright.

2628 days ago
82.

anon    

Shouldn't the title of the post be "Et tu, Brute?" and not Ceasar?

2628 days ago
83.

kim suck    

two PERVS

2628 days ago
84.

Lea    

Hey, I'm miffed by a comment Mr. People Court man himself (Harvey Levin) said on the Today show. He said he didn't value the comments left on his website because "a certain type of person" comments on TMZ.com. WHAT?!?!?!? Is he high?

2628 days ago
85.

Whatareyoudoing?    

Call Sheriff Baca. This is your only hope.

2628 days ago
86.

TO HOLLY    

What a jacka$$! Do you REALLY think we care to hear what you have to say???

You manipulate drunk minors and use them in porn videos for money...you deserve to be behind bars!! You are a pedophile!!! You deserve to be behind bars and used as someone elses bitch!

2628 days ago
87.

whatever    

I think it's ironic that you were upset by TMZ sharing your personal information with the public when you've made your fortune out of sharing young girls bodies with the public when they were completely drunk and not aware of what they were doing....

2628 days ago
88.

lee    

Joe Frances is experiencing BAD KARMA !!!!!!


He has exploited woman to gain wealth & now is suffering for it !!!!




who wants to do time...even for one day....no one thats who!!!!!






BAD KARMA !!!!!!!

2628 days ago
89.

judy    

I do NOT want to read or hear anymore about either of them.

2628 days ago
90.

I call bullshit    

Paris is a dumb skank.....her PR is having her work on the dumb but no mention of working on the skank? I guess some things will never change........

2628 days ago
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