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Francis to Paris: Et Tu Caesar

6/11/2007 2:07 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

TMZ received the following letter from "Girls Gone Wild" creator Joe Francis. He is currently incarcerated in Nevada:
Joe Francis and Paris Hilton booking photos
June 10, 2007

RE: "American I-Cons"

Dear TMZ,

I returned to my cell the other day after a leisurely walk through the Washoe County Detention Center yard and received a message from Deputy Keast, the Public Information Officer, that you had called. To be honest, I was hoping that my penpal, Candy Spelling, had written me again, but to my dismay I was told that you just wanted to know how I felt about Paris being released from jail early. I was then handed a TMZ.com article titled "American I-Cons". I just thought since I seem to have some extra time on my hands these days that I would like to take a moment to set the record straight.

The "American I-Cons" title is a very clever play on words, but unlike in Paris's current situation, the title does not apply to me. I am not in jail because I have been CONvicted of a crime, but am merely awaiting a chance to vindicate myself.

Paris's early release from jail did not surprise me, nor unfortunately, did her return to jail a day later. My heart goes out to Paris, not only because I consider her a friend, but because I have experienced first hand that incarceration is not set up for high-profile people. In my experience to date, when jail personnel are told to give no special treatment to an individual because of who they are, it normally results in them getting far worse treatment. I must however tell you that this has not been my experience at the Washoe County Detention Center, where my treatment has been fair and where the staff is very considerate. However, the stark reality that I've encountered in the five previous facilities I've been in is that celebrities are segregated from other inmates, and it can be quite a lonely existence with no human contact. It seems as though Paris is seeing this first hand now that she's been sent back to jail to serve her original 45 day sentence. If her name was Jane Doe and everything else in the case remained unchanged, she would never have served a day in jail. As Los Angeles County Sheriff Baca said on Friday: "The special treatment appears to be her celebrity status. She got more time in jail." I empathize with Paris, because I believe I too would not still be in jail were it not for my "high profile status."

Your story also outlined 3 other things: living conditions, food, and free time.

When you discussed my living quarters, you brought up the fact that I was in my own cell until I passed my tuberculosis test. Well, I studied hard and took a Princeton Review crash course and passed it with flying colors. I also passed my HIV test and my hepatitis test as well, so feel free to post the rest of my confidential medical history on TMZ.com, as you and others have done on in the past. I wouldn't want your readers to be getting any incomplete information.

My living arrangements are more than adequate. My cell is actually nicer than my USC dorm room. Yes, it doesn't have cable, but it doesn't have the cockroaches either.

When you discussed food, you mentioned that I was eating "catfood sandwiches, a mix of ground turkey mixed with mayo, and franks n' beans." Well, those two delectable dishes, among others, are offered free of charge to all inmates, but the WCDC also offers inmates the option to order from a local restaurant - "The Burger Barn." My diet actually consists of mostly chicken-Caesar salads with crisp romaine lettuce and half-dressing (my trainer would be proud) usually with a Diet Coke. If I really want to splurge, I may order a Powerbar or two for dessert.

This "free time" thing took me by surprise. I would love to know who gave you the information that I'm out of my cell 8 hours a day. It's probably more like half that. It is during this time that I have the fortunate privilege of meeting new "friends" such as car thieves, drug dealers and murderers. It should make for an interesting night at HYDE when the "gang" and I get back together for a reunion.

Feel free to post a mugshot or two (this one is by far the best). Blue is my color over bright orange for sure, but please remember one thing: In this country anyone who stands accused of a crime is innocent until proven guilty, even if they are a celebrity. I urge that there be no rush to judgment, because you may be wrong. I am still an innocent man standing accused, stuck in jail not because I've been CONvicted of a crime, but rather due to a legal quagmire. I have faced far worse things in the past and I am confident that I will prevail again.

Your friend,
Joe Francis
143 COMMENTS

No Avatar
91.

Mel    

Anon - So funny I thought the same thing, lol!

2653 days ago
92.

Dawn Lavely    

These two are both asshole who deserve each other. Jail is for those who do wrong - by society standards. Both this douchebag (Joe, I make my money by exploiting underage girls) and the other douche bag (Paris, I make my money from my Daddy and expect everyone to kiss my ass) are in jail because of thinking that the "laws" don't apply to them.

A message to Joe: You sound like, and therefore my be, an unintelligent ass who's Mommy and Daddy funded your porn business. Shut your mouth and other may stop raping you! You are a freaking ass!

A messge to Paris: You were never acting when you are being stupid. I believe that is real. I have heard recordings of you speaking with the police about Joe's robbery case, your really dumb. Don't try to pretend that you are a do gooder. Your a horrible excuse for a human, a waste of space, a walking infection of grossness and disease. You deserve all the badness that comes your way.

May you enjoy your time in hell!

2653 days ago
93.

lee    

Joe frances is a scum bag........using drunk women showing there breasts..to get rich!






JOE FRANCES DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA ???????









BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOU ARE EXPERINCING RIGHT NOW !!!!!!

2653 days ago
94.

Taisho    

who the hell is Joe Francis? and if he is a celeb, why is he segregated from the other prison inmates? his ass should be reamed like all the other cherries that passed through that facility. maybe that's the problem, they haven't experienced the true prison life so they keep on doing what they do and keep on returning as if it's a joke.

2653 days ago
95.

anyone    

I couldn't even finish this article because of the misquoted title. I think TMZ needs to review their Shakespeare. The correct quote would be "Et tu, Brute?" Not that anyone cares about Shakespeare anymore.

2653 days ago
96.

jiggygato    


gross.

This guy has douche bag written all over him. Just look at his sleazy smile. He's such a poser and a phoney.
Such an evil greedy person.
He got caught but he's still trying to act like he has some sort of relevance in the world.

2653 days ago
97.

lee    

JOE FRANCES YOU ARE BEING PUNISHED FOR EXPLOITING YOUNG GIRLS


DO YOU EVEN CARE ????




YOU ARE SUFFERING IN JAIL......WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND!!!






YOU MADE OTHERS SUFFER NOW YOU ARE SUFFERING.....




WILL PARIS STOP LOOKING IN THE MIRROR IN PUBLIC ONCE SHE GETS OUT???







I HOPE SOOOOO ITS SOO OVERLY VAIN!! YOU AINT THAT HOT PARIS....





OH ARE YOU GOING TO STILL SAY "THATS HOT?????"




OR IS THAT SAYING PLAYED OUT FOR YOU NO THAT YOU FOUND SPIRITUALITY??

2653 days ago
98.

lee    

i'm going to stop looking in the mirror when i'm in public you guys.








I'm going to stop acting like i am better than everyone else!










i'm going to stop saying "thats hot"







i'm going to stop laughing at when my friends call Linsey a fire crotch


















i'm going to stop making fun of the poor....which i am sorry for doing on my new years

eve video....the one that tmz has ...that was not cool of me to do!





i am going to now start helping the poor instead of putting them down.







Public please forgive my bad behavior.........sincerely Paris

2653 days ago
99.

hora    

he has a sense of humor at least. say what you want but i dont see his letter as being whiny or anything so i don't have a problem with it. good for him for standing up for himself. we all have the right to a) have an opinion and b) defend ourselves if we have, so i dont have a problem with joe. in fact, his letters amuse me cuz he's obviously doing it for the lulz and that's hilarious

2653 days ago
100.

Victoria    

Oh Joe ..you aren't waiting vindication...you are staying put in jail so Florida doesn't extradite you there to face those underage sex charges.......

2653 days ago
101.

White TIger    

Joe ain't no angel...allegations of rape, tax evasion, contempt of court, bribery, and drugs punctuate his slimy career.

Check out Joe Francis on wikipedia

In jail for contempt of court
Taken from courtroom crying
His shrink said "Francis demonstrates "significant psychiatric issues" and did "express a potential for suicidal activity if his incarceration is prolonged."

Sound familiar?

Why waste time on this sub-human trash?

2653 days ago
102.

Les    

He's kinda funny... TMZ are you sure he wrote it?

2653 days ago
103.

mb boca raton fla    

Hi joe i think your are so funny you crack me up i met you at shooters in ft lauderdale many years ago and i think you are very smart guy in business and a fun guy it was many years ago but we had fun your friend or you were driving a bmw convertible anyways keep your head up and maybe i will see you again in ft laud or boca raton paris i think is obnoxious and do not like her even though i never met her she reminds me of the attitude girls that i live with take care .....................

2653 days ago
104.

Cleonyc    

I love the man/woman posting the specifics about tax evasion! BRAVO! Seriously the IRS would have been working on this one for years, they probably have him dead to rights. A few years back I got a bill from the IRS because of an illegal move my employer made, apparently I was supposed to catch this move, I still got stuck with the bill. I had a long talk about this with my CPA and this is how he explained it to me.

With most suspicious tax problems there is a process, first IRS will send a bill. People make mistakes on returns, you simply get a bill you pay it end of story. Second step, a table audit, they look everything closer if they are suspicious you get a full audit. Most table audits don't lead to a full audit. If you are found cheating at this point you will be foreced to PAY UP. And you can pay over years and years if needed. Third step prosecution. VERY FEW PEOPLE/CORPORATIONS make it to the third step. It is like an inverted pyramid a lot of people get corrections and bills, a select number of people get audited and a tiny amount get prosecuted. The IRS tends to win most cases. Joe Francis is SCREWED! Never mess with the IRS. Why does the IRS prosecute? To scare the rest of us into paying taxes. Why was Joe targeted when other companies cheat? For some reason the IRS thinks he is an easy target.

2653 days ago
105.

Gabriel    

This jackass is no way shape or form a celebrity. Last time he came to my bar he was begging for free drinks and when I said "this is a cash bar" he started asking for prizes. He finally ask another patron to pay for his drink becuase he had no money.

2653 days ago
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