Hoff's Ex Gets Dinner and Movie, But Just Barely

91. His x was a drug crazzy woman.A child needs a woman"s touch huh?not thing like feeling your mother's touch as she shoves you under that bath water.Oh I forgot they are depressed thats defrent.

Posted at 4:12AM on Jun 17th 2007 by acolyte

92. acolyte.... just getting home from a night out? (I can tell). Your spelling gave it away - i'm not here to judge. I'm not one to throw stones.

Posted at 3:46AM on Jun 17th 2007 by Ima Bitch

93. Lucille your the one whos delusional ,who would whant to marry anny of these loose and way ward women.white weding dresses?you kiding ? its a joke they ben around the block more times then little joey"s big wheel.Where not europe lets keep it that way and perhaps its 51%men who dont think you and your kind are worth it. by the way Ima Bitch Your coments on my spelling mean nothing to me its just the net, your Intellectual elitist atitude wont help you when your old and childless .so put away your j.r liberal colledge dictionary. you what equal rights then ponny up or youll never be the same truthfuly or fully.

Posted at 12:33PM on Jun 17th 2007 by acolyte

94. acolyte... silly little man - i'm sorry I offended you - yes, I am older perhaps than you. However, I do have a teen son and am very blessed with a wonderful family that is supportive. Too bad that is slipping away from American values.

Posted at 4:42AM on Jun 17th 2007 by Ima Bitch

95. acolyte

Really dude - if you re-read my first post to you, it really is not that insulting. I was actually suggesting that I too had been drinking, just incase I happen to mispell something - therfore I'd have an excuse.

I am officially buzzed - ok? I was only making light of the late night and/or situation.

please don't be disgruntled at me.

Posted at 4:46AM on Jun 17th 2007 by Ima Bitch

96. Lucille,

I thought that was very well put. It does seem as if there are a lot of very angry, bitter men on here. They could stand too lose the huge chip on their shoulder. and....

Ima Bitch,


it's ok girl, calm down, it's just some comments from abunch of people you don't know, about a bunch of people you don't know. I mean, all capital letters(yelling) and name calling... c'mon I've read your other comments on different nights and had always thought you made good points,but...... well you seem SO sure thta she's a drug addict. You don't know why things happened the way they did or why she choose not to take that test. Were you in the courtroom? Have YOU ever personally seen her do drugs? So again calm down

Posted at 4:54AM on Jun 17th 2007 by Wow! You People Are Full of Yourselves

97. If I had the choice to take a drug test and keep my children per Debra Opri's request to deny the test (for whatever reason) and lose my children - HMMMMM..... I wonder what I would do?

SHE CONVICTED HERSELF!!!!

Posted at 5:00AM on Jun 17th 2007 by TMZ DOCTOR

98. Well EXCuUuUuSE ME!!!!

I am drunk!! I am eating a cheeseburger right now - I'm just reminiscing of how much I idolized David at that very moment.

He's my dunkard hero!!!!

WENDY'S ROCK!!!

Posted at 5:16AM on Jun 17th 2007 by Ima Bitch

99. SHARED Parenting would be overall best many feel. Not in every single case but for the usual scenario. Hoff and his EX may wind up with that if she shapes up over time. But she'll have to earn it and prove it.

Each parent winds up with 50% of the kid time. Crystal clear...yes it can be a pain BUT both the stress and uncertainty plummets.

If you are in a state with a strong presumption toward SP then fewer winner-take-all efforts in adversarial family court would start up. So instead of just cashing in on a marriage, if it is not THAT bad many would just try harder. Right now it is so favorable to women overall that many feel "why bother" to try in a marriage. I mean you can kick the guy out and get big alimony and child support, prepaid college in many areas and then you decide if you'll let the Dad see his kids or not and if you don't little will be done. Many Dads who "give up" in such impossible situations are then labeled deadbeats. In many states the "deadbeat Dads" are behind because they served in the war, went to jail, make low wages as a laborer yet are asked to pay in CS more than they can possibly pay.

Remember that in all states Divorce is NO FAULT. So things like one poster noted (adultery) are irrelevant. Believe it or not but Ronald Reagan put that in place as Governor of CA and in his entire career he said that was his biggest mistake after he saw the consequences. He had an ugly find-fault divorce way back and wanted people not to face the same thing, hence no-fault. The trouble is...it lead to an explosion in the number of divorces as they became so easy and unilateral. In some areas divorce went from about0.5-1% to 50-70%. A whole divorce industry developed.

For the kids to receive the best from both parents things need to be calmer and less adversarial. Preposterous financial settlements need to be pulled back.

Example: There are many men paying nearly all or even more a year in alimony and child support than they make after taxes. While having to move back in with their parents at a mature age.

There are countless fake restraining orders filed per year, many women's shelters advocate them and assist their clients in court with them. So a guy could be served yet have done nothing at all. Women get these orders "ex parte", without the other party present. Some are very hard to defend against. Then the woman files for divorce after the guy can no longer come home and has to make all the payments he already makes....and cannot see the kids. This can become permanent in family court as far as custody goes. If you get a RO order and are a cop, doctor, military person and some other careers you will most likely have to find a new career.

A friend in NJ direct deposited his child support to his bipolar ex (who has his three sons) every Friday. One day at work (open office plan) several police officers show up and arrest him in front of all of his coworkers for child support nonpayment. He tells them that the direct deposit went through and that if it didnt there was still many hours left in the day to do so, it is not even late yet!?!? Tell it to the judge, handcuff time. He is hauled off to jail for the weekend, a July 4th weekend that he was to have his sons. On Tuesday after he gets out of jail and is taken to the court, his lawyer and him are able to show that the DD did go through just like always it was a false claim. The Judge shrugs since the CS was paid but does not want to address the false claim that jailed a man. What does the Judge want to address next? The womans claim that visitation needs to be changed since Dad upset the boys by not picking them up for visitation that weekend. Seriously! A year and a half later he got full custody and now his ex is getting treatment for bipolar. The boys are doing better than ever. This situation never should have occurred. If possible a shared parenting arrangement would be lower stress and fairer. What does my friend do? In the mean time he allows and encourages his ex and the boys to spend more than every other weekend and one weekday dinner together with the Mom and things are much, much calmer.

If you have court orders covering visitation whether you have custody or not, remember that you can always go beyond what the Judge ordered..offer it and maybe your ex will accept. The kids will benefit.

Posted at 9:35AM on Jun 17th 2007 by stan

100. My understanding is that when kids are a certain age, they get a choice as to which parent they would rather live with. I know a guy who's kid (age 14 or 16) was asked by the judge and he said he wanted to live with his dad. For a mother to lose custody, usually she has to have serious problems.

Posted at 9:55AM on Jun 17th 2007 by April

101. To 110 Ima Bitch:

Alcoholics fall off the wagon and have accidents all of the time, that’s not paranoia but reality.

What’s makes this decision bad is that Hoff’s allegations that the Mom took drugs were not substantiated. The judge can make an assumption that because the Mom refused the drug testing that she’d taken drugs in the past, but the judge is really taking Hoff’s word for it and the judge himself made no future order for regular drug testing. Instead the judge ordered the Mom to take anger management courses, and if she complies after a year he will consider making the custody agreement 50/50, at least that’s what TMZ says. So apparently the judge is not sure if the Mom is using drugs or not because he didn’t address it in his order.

and to:

113 You People Are Full Of Yourselves:

Thank you for your compliment.

Posted at 10:03AM on Jun 17th 2007 by Lucille

102. To 117 Stan,

I'm not advocating Mom abandon her children, rather the children are nearly adults and they essentially abandoned her by (for whatever reason) deciding to live with their Dad. I'm sure the older girl convinced the younger one that this is a win, win situation for them because they think they'll still have Mom to be Mom for them. But this Mom doesn't owe her nearly grown children that type of attention anymore. The older girl will presumably be going to college soon, so then what will the younger one do? But like the younger one the older girl will continue to call their Mom for this or that, and to intercede in their behalf to the Hoff when even he's had enough, and that’s not what Mom needs right now.

The best move this Mom could make for herself is to get out of dodge. No one can say she didn't try to keep them and its not like they are five years old or something. The Mom now needs to take care of herself, period.

Posted at 10:45AM on Jun 17th 2007 by Lucille

103. [[[[[My understanding is that when kids are a certain age, they get a choice as to which parent they would rather live with. I know a guy who's kid (age 14 or 16) was asked by the judge and he said he wanted to live with his dad. For a mother to lose custody, usually she has to have serious problems.]]]]]

It kind of depends on when things take place. If a divorce occurs when kids are say 7 & 8 it is harder for them to live with the other parent at 13 or 14 since things already took place. That is if things turned out to be a mess and years later the kids are 13/14 and presumably will be part way listened to then they will have a VERY tough time compared to kids that age where a divorce is starting fresh. If a divorce starts and the kids are 13 & 14 then they will have a larger input and larger still when they are older. This is if you go through the courts. In many cases folks don't do that and the child is listened to by the parents. I've seen many cases where boys and girls wanted to live with Dad in their teens and did so, no court involvement. You could say that the Family Courts act in a Narcissistic fashion..they blame the parents but not themselves and dislike efforts to fix the problems the court created.

I always tell folks to try to stay out of court and believe that huge amounts of grief could be saved with nonadversarial courts encouraging shared parenting and that this is know to married people.

One thing some are not aware of is the second wives problem. Suppose a guy is put through the ringer and pays huge checks to his ex all the time for the divorce she wanted and they have a child. If the man remarries and he and his new wife want to start a family, any kids they have are very disadvantaged financially if you think about it. So the second kids don't matter?

Some of the strongest and most credible advocates for Father's Rights and Family Court reform are second wives. They see the man paying the checks and having his visitation blocked. They see the attempts to rectify things in family court fail again and again. And they see the impact on their own children. They see the grief the man experiences without much hope of resolution.

Many of the cases (including Hoffs) seem to have a Dad gaining custody through some sort of near miracle. It should not be like that.

Posted at 11:38AM on Jun 17th 2007 by Stan

104. [[[I'm not advocating Mom abandon her children, rather the children are nearly adults and they essentially abandoned her by (for whatever reason) deciding to live with their Dad. I'm sure the older girl convinced the younger one that this is a win, win situation for them because they think they'll still have Mom to be Mom for them. But this Mom doesn't owe her nearly grown children that type of attention anymore. The older girl will presumably be going to college soon, so then what will the younger one do? But like the younger one the older girl will continue to call their Mom for this or that, and to intercede in their behalf to the Hoff when even he's had enough, and that’s not what Mom needs right now. The best move this Mom could make for herself is to get out of dodge. No one can say she didn't try to keep them and its not like they are five years old or something. The Mom now needs to take care of herself, period.

So...when a man does what you suggest the Mom do, he is a deadbeat Dad. But when the Mom does it she is taking care of herself?!?

Forget the court orders, the two girls can still see Mom all the time..including beyond what the Judge ordered. It's up to the four people, with the COs as a fallback. She needs to be a Mom and deal with her issues ASAP just like Hoff has apparently been doing.

Posted at 11:43AM on Jun 17th 2007 by Stan

105. To 122 Stan:

I think the term "deadbeat" refers to not paying child support. I don't believe the judge in this case has ordered child support from the Mom so she would not be considered a deadbeat Mom for moving, they are two entirely different things.

You say "forget the court orders." Its what Hoff and apparently the children asked for. Since Hoff and the kids got what they wanted, why can't they leave the woman alone. The Mom has suffered a terrible blow, and since the kids made the decision, they should be the ones to live with it. Give the woman some time away to decide what she wants to do. The Mom can't just pick-up where she left off. Compared to Hoff, Mom has no legal authority in her kids lives anymore.

And your assuming that the kids want to see her on the weekends, I'm sure they'll be too busy with their Hollywood lives, that they won't want to spend the weekend with their mother anyway.

Posted at 12:11PM on Jun 17th 2007 by Lucille