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Heidi Fleiss: One for the Ladies

7/5/2007 7:47 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss is running a business she knows something about -- getting a load done. She opened her "Dirty Laundry" laundromat this past weekend in Nevada, just about one hour away from Las Vegas. Get it done, girl!

As she explained on the FOX News' "Big Story with John Gibson", "The demographics of the community fit the statistics of a successful Laundromat. So why not try something I've never done before?" Sounds too good to be true, right? Correct!

Fleiss' big biz is yet to come; she's planning to open a legal brothel -- where the customers are ladies! "I have had maybe over 300 women ready to buy memberships and plenty of men have applied ... and let me tell you ladies out there, they won't let you down!" But the madam cautions, "Without Viagra we couldn't do it!" She's boned up on business!

Even though she claims "it's uncharted waters for me because I'm used to the other way around," her new biz is supposed to be, er, up and running in 60 days.


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This reminds of a poem I recently read, might be by David Sedaris.

The Werewhile Hour: A Poem

In the notorious thirteenth chapter of his first book
Wayne Booth took a flying leap into ethical criticism
an arena guarded by great souls like Plato, Johnson, and Tolstoy
but primarily inhabited, fifty years ago,
by narrow moralists from the Legion of Decency.

Booth's central thrust was that, because man is a social animal,
fiction is ethically formative: That our lives are significantly enriched or impoverished,
our character strengthened or enfeebled, our values challenged or confirmed,
by the narratives that we read. Godspeed.

Then came the Werewhile Hour. An Hour of Power!
A snearing snick of time, a dour-flower of overpowering dark Allure,
a fearful frenzy-friend unleashing untended blends of praise and damnation;
a daunting crazed perusal of phrases; tendrils greedily grasping through an editor's mazes;
reaching mindlessly through Manhattan's midnight hazes, it was a craze!

The Is-Been, the Has-Been, the Wereperson, the Never-Was,
wishful night-time thinkers wearily clutching the skirt of Francine.
She sees the seed of soot that reveals their thinness; her new light shrinks them.
Mercilessly carping about the quality of the grape,
carelessly criticizing the service of those they lightly ape with Sprite
Dressed, well-smelling, telling of a stench rising from a coffin's place.
Illiterates sing the Werewhile Song tonight.

A tear. A bore. A beekeeper. An inexpensive whore who yearns for a more daring floor show.
A far-off shore with a light that exploits the hope of Renoir.
Moray eels electronically redecorate. Then a glance from the Castle turns the Were-ones into Ghosts.
(An article in the next day's Post!)

Sex in the city, the night before, a searing numbness rinsed off by the key ingredient of a great pour.

2632 days ago


She is so fug she has to live out her sexual fantasies through other people. If she was anywhere near attractive she wouldn't be so hung up on selling sex. She is a bone head.

2632 days ago


She is one ugly woman!!!

2632 days ago


Gotta love her!

2632 days ago


Why won't TMZ do something about Nakita spamming the boards 24-7?

2632 days ago


Isn't life boring without Paris Hilton? Absolutely! Paris, you are a natural star. Live it. Love it and make the best of it.

2632 days ago


Ok, dah!! Everyone knows that a laundymat is a money laudering operation!! Hello out there! And its a CASH BUSINESS!!! This just in time for her male brothel - this way she has a way to write off profits from that biz and show a loss at her laundry mat.

2632 days ago


talk about Coyote Ugly..... She could melt the paint off a school bus with that face.. YIKES>

2632 days ago


She's the definition of a skank who's worn out. The only way she would "get it" if she paid for it. So, it makes sense she's opening a male brothel.

2632 days ago

Granny Pants    

For Christsakes, CLEARLY there is no man in your world Dawn O. Rice. Put down the poetry Cupcake and watch some Craziest Cop Videos or something will you? Deadliest Catch, SportsCenter, anything.

2632 days ago

SoCal Razzles    

damn she's nasty looking...

2632 days ago


Worn out skank. Her parents must be so proud.

2632 days ago


How sad that everywhere you look we have trash like this woman making the news. Amazing!

2632 days ago

big fat, bald white guy who loves everyone except Paris    

Now really, if a women wants to get laid she just needs to show up and say so...anywhere...any time. Its just that simple for women. Although she does look like she would have to pay someone to have sex with her.

2632 days ago

Well, Duh!!!...    

Marketing may be crucial... Just great, exotic firsttime SEX w/ no stalker 'future ex-boyfriend' potential Here.

2632 days ago
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