Greasy: Reports of My Death Exaggerated
FLASH! Greasy Bear is not dead! Who knew it was hunting season?
Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis, the oily moneybag and brother of Gummi, made a sweaty appearance before cameras last night, drowning rumors that he died in Miami last night. Firequash!
The hyperhidrotic heir bear claimed that this "shows how the press is pretty much wrong about everything." Somehow, a PR firm heard a rumor that Greasy had died, and by the time the questions started being asked in Miami, the Greasy one was said to have croaked.
When the cameraman asked Greasy to confirm that he was, in fact, still alive -- the bear, absolutely devoid of irony, replied, "Yes." Although he didn't seem too sure.