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Crouching Britney, Hidden Accident

Posted Aug 7th 2007 1:05PM by Celly

Hey y'all -- I'm a done with ma gardenin' and just wanted to popwreck over to the vitamin pill store to get some more hair growin' formular! Now what'd I go and do?! How'd that parked car jump up n' hit me in the tire? Goshdarn dang dings! Mah insurance is gonna skyrocker! I think I hafta buy a new dog now. Even littler!

Oh shoot. I done forgot mah Weaveguard! I can see my waffleweave in this here hubscap! Oh lordy! There's mah hoocher too! Oh, well, a girl's gotta breathe. Oh, hell! These wedgies is cuuuuuuute!

I'm exhaustipated, y'all. But I loves purple. Luuvvvvvvvvvvs purple. Huh, is this blue or purples? Mebbe I'll get me two more doggies. Oh hecks. There's the paparoozies. Now I'm gone be on TMZ agin'. I loves me some TMZ! And little dawgies ... they's so cute!

Trashy Britney Spears Gallery

Tags: accident, britney spears, BritneySpears, car, dog, dogs, little, vitamins, weaveguard

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(Page 2 of 12) Previous 15 Comments | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Most Recent | Next 15 Comments

16. Oh God! This is the funniest report ever!

Posted at 3:11PM on Aug 9th 2007 by amy

17. DOES K-FED HAVE A NANNY FOR WHEN HE HAS CUSTODY OF BRITS BOYS?

Posted at 5:08PM on Aug 7th 2007 by Pam

18. #6, its no accident. She does this every day.

Id still do her.

Posted at 1:43PM on Aug 7th 2007 by ZZZZZZZ

19. maybe she could've made it in the space if she wasn't holding the dog while driving. like that's responsible driving.... driving while stupid should be a felony.

Posted at 2:05PM on Aug 7th 2007 by b

20. I just read the article...laughed so hard, my diet coke came out of my nose!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted at 1:47PM on Aug 7th 2007 by martinsmama

21. Poor girl should just stay inside...
And wear underwear...

Posted at 1:47PM on Aug 7th 2007 by Miss French Kitty

22. gotta love TMZ.
can't wait for her only career option left, the reality show featuring the spears family.
it would be a cross between the beverly hill billys & the dukes of hazzard.

Posted at 1:48PM on Aug 7th 2007 by caveman

23. OMG - Laughing my ass off so hard!!!!!! Harvey, whoever wrote that, deserves a RAISE! It was genuis I say, pure genuis!!!!!!!!!

Posted at 1:49PM on Aug 7th 2007 by Stars are Blind, as is Justice

24. can anyone be this dumb..? or is this a continuous act of desperation just to keep her (ahem) face in the papers ...?

Posted at 1:53PM on Aug 7th 2007 by TWIST420

25. HOW IS IT THAT THIS STUPID BEEOTCH CAN BE BEHIND THE WHEEL?! THIS IS NOT THE BACK WOODS OF THE SOUTH WHERE SHE COMES FROM.

NO SEATBELT....
RAT DOG ON LAP...
HIT AND RUN, (who cares if it"s a minor scratch, it's STILL A MERCEDES!)
I BET THE OWNER IS PISSED (KIMS WGN)

IF THIS WAS ANYONE IN THE GENERAL PUBLIC THE PO-PO WOULD BE ON OUR ASSES FASTER THAN WHITE ON RICE.

JUST ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF THE FAMOUS GETTING OFF WHILE THE REST OF THE WORLD PAYS THE PRICE

Posted at 2:06PM on Aug 7th 2007 by sick of brit

26. britney's gonna sick her big bad lawyers on y'all

Posted at 1:52PM on Aug 7th 2007 by beyond disgusted

27. Smile britney. Show us just a little more you slut

Posted at 1:51PM on Aug 7th 2007 by Shameless Ho

28. Brit did not pull a hit and run.
Brit did not hurt or kill anyone.
Brit has insurance and a driver's license.
Not many can claim that

Posted at 1:55PM on Aug 7th 2007 by Grace E.

29. Britney, your children will be so proud some day

Posted at 1:53PM on Aug 7th 2007 by Shameless Ho

30. Does TMZ not realize they are insulting all southerners with their stereotypical portrayal of how a southerner speaks and thinks?

This is getting old, tired and offensive. Why not stick to reporting what ludicrous fiasco she's found herself in again instead of insulting half the country?

Posted at 2:02PM on Aug 7th 2007 by ColinFarrelIisHot

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