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Crouching Britney, Hidden Accident

8/7/2007 2:05 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Hey y'all -- I'm a done with ma gardenin' and just wanted to popwreck over to the vitamin pill store to get some more hair growin' formular! Now what'd I go and do?! How'd that parked car jump up n' hit me in the tire? Goshdarn dang dings! Mah insurance is gonna skyrocker! I think I hafta buy a new dog now. Even littler!

Oh shoot. I done forgot mah Weaveguard! I can see my waffleweave in this here hubscap! Oh lordy! There's mah hoocher too! Oh, well, a girl's gotta breathe. Oh, hell! These wedgies is cuuuuuuute!

I'm exhaustipated, y'all. But I loves purple. Luuvvvvvvvvvvs purple. Huh, is this blue or purples? Mebbe I'll get me two more doggies. Oh hecks. There's the paparoozies. Now I'm gone be on TMZ agin'. I loves me some TMZ! And little dawgies ... they's so cute!

Trashy Britney Spears Gallery

177 COMMENTS

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76.

Cynic    

OMG, that was so funny I laughed till I almost cried! Y'all outdone yerselfs thar!

2603 days ago
77.

Mommywithalife    

does tnx have a new writer? brilliant- hillarious- I have been laughing my as* off the past couple weeks!

2603 days ago
78.

boredatwork    

Hey TMZ, nice to know what you think southern people sound like. You bunch of retards! Listen to Brit on video and she mostly sounds like a valley girl. So drop the drawl and add more "like'.

2603 days ago
79.

E    

'Brittney plays y'all like a fiddle' is what the headline should read. The sad thing is that the closest thing to friends she has is the paparazzi right now hence her playfulness and pranks on you.

2603 days ago
80.

Rosie the chauvinist    

Grow up. You're a sad example of "journalism," if that is what you try to call what you do.

If I want to read juvenile purile crap, I'll find some naughty children. Or is that who writes for this thing?

2603 days ago
81.

salon1    

There are vehicles that you can get your children in and out of much easier.

Also for those that are unaware; There are vehicles that you can buy that an adult can get in and out of more comfortably.

POLITELY SPOKEN

2603 days ago
82.

Kate    

#6...whether you like it or not Ms. Britney is a celebrity living in Los Angeles. And as such, she should know better than to crouch on the ground wearing a super short skirt. Of course her photo is going to be taken. I agree, we all make mistakes but not all of us are celebrities who regard themselves a whole lot differently than the average Joe. and ps...no matter what I would NEVER position myself like this in a short skirt unless I happened to be drunk and blissfully unaware the public could see my crotch...

2603 days ago
83.

David    

It's getting old, TMZ. You guys have no room to talk about being trashy.

2603 days ago
84.

neo    

LOL... Man this is priceless...

2603 days ago
85.

Cat Stevns    

TMZ I just loves ya! Yous toooo much! Funny! Love yas y'all!

2603 days ago
86.

Irene    

What's with all these dumb ass "girls in trouble" having little dogs that they carry around? I think it's gettin a little played out & as far as Britney, she's shown holding that dog now way more than I ever seen her hold her own children.

2603 days ago
87.

TMZ Lovah    

Wow, that was one of the stupidest things I've ever read......y'all.

2603 days ago
88.

divalasvegas    

Nice to know that she is willing to damage other people's cars and drive off. It looks like she's trying to rub the dent out herself or else she's trying to hide from the owner of the other car. I also LOVE how she can turn scraping another car into an opportunity to make sure everyone gets a look at her junk. *yawn* It's just not that special, y'all.

2603 days ago
89.

martinsmama    

Thank you, TMZ...you make my day. I have officially made you my new homepage.
I LOVES ME SOME TMZ!!!!

2603 days ago
90.

lissabell    

People need to stop refering to Britney and the other pieces of trash as celebrities. They are nothing close. A celebrity is someone who can act and has class. These girls are high class trash. Of course they are fun to read about, but I think there title of celebrity needs to go away.

Oh and those of you "Southerns" getting offended with the writing, get a life. IF you really were a Southern you would not be taking the time to give two shi*s as to what was written. The article was written with a Southern Drawl (I think I spelled that right). You just need something to bit*h about. Read the other posts, they have the same sarcastic tone to them but are writen without the Southern drawl. You don't hear the NonSouthern folk complaining.

2603 days ago
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