Things One Can Do in 82 Minutes

31. Takes me longer to dislodge a stuck tampon.

Hey Nicole, now that you've done your time, you can take out that fake fetus and start back on your painkiller for cramps.

Posted at 12:54PM on Aug 25th 2007 by Paris

32. Ooooohhh...

She's so trite. Can anyone really explain what the fascination with her is? The mere fact that her "father" is Lionel Richie should be of no consequence because he really lost any musical relevancy in the '80s, err, actually before leaving the Commodores. His limelight of Soul & Funk was long cancled out by Adult Contemporary Pop. So really, what is it?! The fact that she doesn't work? Is that what is so appealing to her? How she fluctuates in weight? That she walked on a catwalk once with her T&A visible while wearing a hideous ensemble even questionable to some couture standards? Whether she dables in pot, and various forms of opiates? That she had sex with Jason Mewes in a restroom stall of some club? Wears big ol' sunglasses on her tiny face? Is uber short? Oops, Okay, my bad..., generally I don't bring up superficial attributes of people like this. Yeah, those are undercuts, and low blows that don't need to be presented. I love a variety of people of all vertical statures. Back on subject. Ummm, is now pregnant and unwed, but engaged too a Guitar Player/Singer of a Post-Punk, Warped Tour Sk8ter Band who pales in comparision to many of their peers, or counterparts? That she always has an impish look in her face in mug shots that says, "Huh, I'm Nicole Richie by god, Entertainment Industry Royalty by association, not by effort, talent, or skill, and I will be outsta here in just a few after garnering the attention of my lawyers, laymen, and entourage. Hee Hee, look at me."

Really, what is the hoopla? And more importantly, why does the industry back it? Whatever became of talent, artistry, skill, and creativity?

Please Enlighten me, and any others who may wonder the very same thing.

BTW, I'm not knocking Nicole, or "dissing" her, just stating the obvious.

Best of luck to her in her future endevours, and motherhood.

Posted at 1:36PM on Aug 25th 2007 by B.

33. Ah, our country's justice system is definitely one of a kind. Not in the good way either. Richie and Lohan don't deserve such blatant favoritism; make them serve at least 30 days, dammit!
procter3- I totally agree with you. There's just too much drunken, insane, and dangerous celebs on the west coast. At least there's a bit more sanity and common sense in the people in the east.

Posted at 1:56PM on Aug 25th 2007 by wtf

34. I can watch 5 1/2 episodes of Metalocolypse.
And still have time to take a dump.

Posted at 2:25PM on Aug 25th 2007 by Summer

35. Things you can do in 8.2 seconds:

Read every good TMZ post ever written.

Posted at 2:14PM on Aug 25th 2007 by crabbie

36. It takes at least that amount of time to drive home from work (Montreal East to St-Bruno, 50km) 30mi during rush hour. And I can't get a shorter trip for good behavior..........

Posted at 2:23PM on Aug 25th 2007 by Marc From Montreal

37. Our legal is system is cake for drunk drivers compaired to some countries. Last night I was talking to a guy who's from El Salvador who went back to visit a couple of months ago. There was a town meeting called so he went, like ya do, and was horrified when a man was SHOT and KILLED for drunk driving. In some countries you can lose a limb for drunk driving, that's your punishment; in some countries they execute you for it; in Sweden, if you get caught drinking and driving ONCE you lose your license for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!!! Spending 82 minutes in jail is cake-walk compaired to say losing your left hand because of your stupidity.

Posted at 2:34PM on Aug 25th 2007 by SOWISA

38. Stab a skank with a shiv.

Posted at 2:45PM on Aug 25th 2007 by Mike O'Hara

39. ....USA is a joke in soooooooo many ways!!!...from ur polital system ( u were all dumb enough to elect the worst president who has made such a mess around the world)..to ur health care system, educational system, and ur legal system..particulary in California...Texas is good...anyways...THANKGOD I am a Canadian!!!! jfrom TO

Posted at 2:52PM on Aug 25th 2007 by j from TO

40. i spent FOUR days in jail in a cramped tiny cell with 5 other girls, all because i was part of a peaceful protest...PEACEFUL!!! did nothing to warrant being thrown in jail with little food, and having to use the 'loo' in front of 5 other people, not to mention no phonecall to anyone!...and this moron could very well have easily killed innocent bystanders whilst driving intoxicated on various substances....and she gets less than an hour and a half in jail. WTF!!!! just because someone is famous for doing dumb stuff doesn't mean they should be rewarded for it. our society is messed up beyond repair. Good job, America. you should be proud. you've proved to the entire world how NOT to run things.

Posted at 3:12PM on Aug 25th 2007 by hh

41.
> u were all dumb enough to elect the
> worst president

I think you need to look up the word "all" in the dictionary.

Posted at 3:07PM on Aug 25th 2007 by "j from TO" is a bigot and a racist

42. How long was she driving on the freeway the wrong way? That's scary!

Posted at 4:36PM on Aug 25th 2007 by mickeylou

43. Dear Ms. Richie:

We are sorry it too so long to release you from jail in your the case invovling driving under influence of drugs on the wrong side on a freeway at 4 in the morning. In most cases with celebratiies of your status, this offence would be only good for only for a written reprimand and the ability to expunge this report from your record by attending some "classes" in the "future". But, because of your former DUI on the record, we were forced to go through this "formality". We greatly apologise for any inconveince caused. I hope you can fogive us.

Posted at 3:09PM on Aug 25th 2007 by The staff of the LA DA office

44. first, if you drive the wrong way on a freeway, you need to go to jail for awhile and think about it.

second, what brand are those sunglasses she is getting paid to wear everyday!?!

Posted at 3:10PM on Aug 25th 2007 by she smiled

45. she went what does it matter at least she stepped up to the plate carnt blame the person for what the legal system does, get off her ass wouldnt be complaining if it was you

Posted at 3:18PM on Aug 25th 2007 by Journee