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Britney: After Las Vegas -- The Inner Dialog

9/13/2007 4:52 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Oh, man, I am seriously frazzazzleded and exhaustipateded. Let's face it, I'm tarrrd! I had too much fun in Larse Vegas! Gimme more gimme more -- what did nanny tell me to pick up at the groshery store? Oh my gawd! Look how cute this new Weaveholder looks! I am seriously preshified!

Gimme more gimme mmmm mmmm. Sunny day, keepin' the clouds away -- on my way -- can't thank of the rest. I think I should cover that ditty! I'll talk to Diddy about it! He's my new special friender. It's all about the Benjamins -- la la hmm. Sunny day ... um ...






um ...








...um ... Where am I? Oh yah, hot dawgs and Cheetohs for Jayden and crayons and candy cigarettes for Sean -- ding dang he's cute with them kiddie ciggies! He reminds me of K-Fart. Dang him! Hater. Sunny day ... seriously, this is the cutest pockerbook, like, ever. I could fit doggie in thar, and all my necesseries, my lollerpoppers, and -- oh yeah, and I need some Strawberry Qwik -- that stuff is soooo good. Yummerlicious! Tell me how to get how to get to... oh heckers, I think this is a nightgown. Better ask Alli. Note to self: um -- what was I just thinkin'? Nertz. Hate when that happers.

Garsh, I think I was up for three or six days in Vegas, but I seriously kicked ass! I was so ghetto fabulous on that VDA show -- even though I busted my nail, my heel broke on my hooker boots and I was a lil' bit bloated -- oh, hell, better pick up a EPT while I'm in here too. I shoulda knowed betterer when Criss asked me to hold that thing while he did a trick! Hot dawgs ... can't forgit. Sunny day -- benjamins -- la la la.



405 COMMENTS

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376.

trueblue    

WHEN DID PEREZ START WRITING FOR TMZ? I can't believe this crap was even posted. Not defending Brittney....she brings things on herself but no one is above screwing up..."Those without sin, cast the first stone"! Jesus!!! ha

2493 days ago
377.

Judy 34A    

346. Hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Ding friggin' DANG!

That was purely da funny whack stuffin's, y'all TMZ! I 'bout prakticklee farted a real big stinky from dat one! Y'all even done made moowah, tha's uh...Frenchified fer "ME", y'all even done made me has a chuckle fits! An' ever times I has me a chuckle fits I done poots like a cow what is puhlootin' the atmosfeers!

Anyways, Tee Em Zee, y'all! No hard feelun's, m'k. 'Sides, I gotta rewatch muhelfs from the Vajayjay...er...EmJay...uhweirds...er...sumpthin' like that. Man, y'all, I surely done looked hot fer a ho, 'eh!

Buh bye, y'all an'.....DINNNNNNNNNNG DANNNNNNNNGGGG!!

Posted at 11:55PM on Sep 13th 2007 by Brit-Brit

Hey Harvey Levin i see your sister Brit-Brit is posting here!

2492 days ago
378.

K    

LOL! *Sees angry group of Britney fans* What? I thought it was funny!

2492 days ago
379.

Sarah    

Okay TMZ.. you've gone overboard, for sure. Give Britney a break already.. have you NO ONE else to write about? Honestly, how many times have you done something stupid that you've thanked your higher power nobody was around to see? She doesn't have that option, and she's just trying to live.. let her breathe and try and get back on her feet. And what is it with all the southern dialect bashing? I've never met a person who honestly spoke like that; you're getting ridiculous. The first time you did this 'inner dialog', it was moderately funny - now it's just getting old. Find something AND someone else to write about or you're losing at least one reader.

"Just because I talk slow sweetheart, doesn't mean I'm stupid"
-- Sweet Home Alabama

2492 days ago
380.

No she didn't......    

Ding Dang Ya'll!

K-Fart - 2 funny!

2491 days ago
381.

ohiodmo    

to #2 (appropriate, I think) or EnoughAlready

"Brit is what the media has created,..." I say Enough Already with this crap from YOU, #2!
Did the media make her decide to go commando and show the world her hairless cat, did the media make her wed Fed-Ex, did the media make her have two kids in a row when she can't even take care of herself, did the media make her marry Jason Alexander for what - 55 hours, did the media make her hang out with Hilton, Lohan and the rest of that fake crowd and forget she had two children at home, did the media make her get drunk on her ass, did the media make her almost drop her kid or drive without them in their car seats, did the media make her do drugs, did the media make her shave her head, did the media make her wear those horrid hats and cowboy boots with every outfit, did the media make her wipe up dog crap with the designer dress or her greasy fingers on another after eating KFC - especially when they weren't even her clothes but borrowed for the photo shoot, did the media make her set up that same photo shoot with OK magazine and then have a melt down and leave looking like an idiot, did the media make her walk in to public bathrooms BAREFOOT, did the media make her fire those who were trying to manage her behavior and career and decide to do it herself (she should have at least kept the stylist), did the media make her choose that too small bikini instead of the more "forgiving" bustier the awards people wanted her to wear, did the media make her show up for her rehearsal 3 hours late with a drink in her hand, and on and on and on?

The media can be blamed for a lot of things in a lot of cases, but when it comes to Miss Spears, she's done a fine job of making her own decisions and has shown us how to wreck a career in the shortest time I've seen in a long time. By firing her manager, staff, stylist, etc and hanging out with the current set of Hollywood no-talents etc, she has proven that old adage - of which I paraphrase - He who employs himself as an attorney has a fool for a client!

These were HER decisions and choices. Get you facts straight before pointing the finger at the media, or anyone else because when you DO point you finger at others you have three fingers pointing right back at yourself!

2490 days ago
382.

Judy 34A    

ohiodmo you know where to put those 3 fingers right? ok good just want to be sure!

2490 days ago
383.

john k    

No matter what she will still make more than you or I put together in our lifetime.

2490 days ago
384.

kmb    

This is completely hilarious. Thanks for a great laugh tonight!!!
People are finally realizing that the so called "pop princess"
is a "no-talent" and now just a punch line.
BRITNEY is the one that has been sending the wrong messages
to girls and women everywhere, not the press. About body images, behavior, etc....
Thanks to Britney, a lot of little girls think it's a positive thing to look and act slutty,
just like she does. :) This video is so damn FUNNY!!!!

2489 days ago
385.

kmb    

....the video... "Fat Britney getting thrown out of hotel"......

2489 days ago
386.

Getagrip    

Amen to #395 & #400...nobody forced that woman to do any of that stupid, attention-grabbing stuff. She should have listened to the Judge & thanked God & all her $$ that she still had her kids. Instead she had to go out and get high - I guess to prove that she is doesn't have to worry about small things like having her kids taken away. If she didn't love the lime light, then she wouldn't be in it so often.
TMZ, I think you're great, & I love the trailer trash talk -- I don't hear anyone jumping on SNL news when they take off on brit. When her idol is a debutramp like Paris, you know she has her priorities messed up - kids 1st, party way down the line. Keep it up, great smile all day.

2488 days ago
387.

tang    

That is friggin' hilarious, you guys rock.
And it's probably pretty accurate, actually.

2488 days ago
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