Britney's Midnight Tan: The Inner Dialog

9/26/2007 2:55 PM PDT
Hey, y'all, it's me. You might notta reconnized me with my blue contract lensers and glam new mermaid weave -- but it's me, bitches! And I am so hot!

I got me a hankerin' last night at midnight for a suntan to go with my new look -- so I just grabbed one of my go-girls and headed over to the tannin' parlor. Dang, this blouse is a little snuggafied, but I loves how it makes my puppies look hungry! And I love how this white pockerbook goes with my brown cowgirl boots! This is a hot autumn look! I don't unnerstand why peeps is so worrifcated on me. I'm fiiiine. Serriously. I never felt gooder or more togetherer. See, I'm makin' money! And I like gettin' my pitcher tooken! It's no place but uppers for me! So stop hatin' on TMZ and all them internetters -- they are makin' me money! Ohh... wait, I just had a new song idear! Gimme gimme -- gimme gimme sumpin' sumpin'. ... Oh heckers, I got sumpin' on my pantlers.

Why is that go-girl wearin' that horrbull paisley dress? I want it! Eight hunnerd thousand a month, bitches! Don't worry 'bout me and my boo boos! Gimme gimme sumpin' -- hey there Delilah -- sumpin' sumpin' what you do to meeeeeeeee... I am back!