Britney's Midnight Tan: The Inner Dialog

Hey, y'all, it's me. You might notta reconnized me with my blue contract lensers and glam new mermaid weave -- but it's me, bitches! And I am so hot!

I got me a hankerin' last night at midnight for a suntan to go with my new look -- so I just grabbed one of my go-girls and headed over to the tannin' parlor. Dang, this blouse is a little snuggafied, but I loves how it makes my puppies look hungry! And I love how this white pockerbook goes with my brown cowgirl boots! This is a hot autumn look!

I don't unnerstand why peeps is so worrifcated on me. I'm fiiiine. Serriously. I never felt gooder or more togetherer. See, I'm makin' money! And I like gettin' my pitcher tooken! It's no place but uppers for me! So stop hatin' on TMZ and all them internetters -- they are makin' me money! Ohh... wait, I just had a new song idear! Gimme gimme -- gimme gimme sumpin' sumpin'. ... Oh heckers, I got sumpin' on my pantlers.

Why is that go-girl wearin' that horrbull paisley dress? I want it! Eight hunnerd thousand a month, bitches! Don't worry 'bout me and my boo boos! Gimme gimme sumpin' -- hey there Delilah -- sumpin' sumpin' what you do to meeeeeeeee... I am back!




Tags: britney spears, BritneySpears, paisley, tan

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31. That's a very funny writing someone wrote right there 'bout Brit Brit.

Posted at 1:33PM on Sep 26th 2007 by Camp Kitsch

32. This s**t was funny the first time....about a month ago.....its just lame now!!! get over it tmz

Posted at 1:44PM on Sep 26th 2007 by **S**

33. Is it just me or is she starting to have a crazed look to her eyes.

Posted at 1:36PM on Sep 26th 2007 by RWB

34. Alcoholics always have a drink in their hands.

Posted at 1:39PM on Sep 26th 2007 by jiggy

35. I know my look changed after I had my two kids, but not as drastically as Britney's did. That photo of her is horrible. Those clothes and that hair.... she really is a different person. I feel so bad for her. I hope she learns how to be a real mother and starts to mend her broken relationships. Kevin was a total mistake, she should have known he was in it for the money, he will get what is coming to him. As Brit's ex said, What comes around goes around.....

Posted at 1:57PM on Sep 26th 2007 by Mel

36. haha yalls is fuuuunnneyyyy. ding dang brit, take a shower and lay off the xanax. your a mom for christ sake; get it together.

Posted at 1:39PM on Sep 26th 2007 by theevilmandar

37. you forgot to say "Ding Dang!"

Posted at 1:38PM on Sep 26th 2007 by Tiffany

38. I Love It! This is hilarious!

Posted at 1:38PM on Sep 26th 2007 by 123

39. Can she stay home at least ONE freaking night?

Posted at 1:39PM on Sep 26th 2007 by Boner

40. What's that she's drinking?

Posted at 1:40PM on Sep 26th 2007 by WTF

41. She needs a bra.

Posted at 1:43PM on Sep 26th 2007 by Stacy

42. i get so excited when i see these posts here :)

because no matter how awful tmz is, they're still nowhere near as bad as the other gossip sites. at least im entertained here....

love the TMZ!
love the inner dialog!
love to watch britney suck at life :)

Posted at 1:43PM on Sep 26th 2007 by fyi

43. TMZ is low class to have a slandering dialog. Its bad enough when they report true things that are demeaning but to make up a dialog with such low class demeaning slandering language should be means for a law suit. Where do they find these writers? I would like to contact the head editor and get an explanation for this garbage. How would they like to be written about or one of their children in such a rude and obnoxious fashion! Clean up your act TMZ ! Stop Abusing the public and celebrities with your garbage!

Posted at 8:17AM on Sep 27th 2007 by Rain

44. I'm more tired of her boots than I am her. She could use a good support bra too. Playtex 18 hour might do her some justice, but would be embarrassing to to strip down to for the impromptu beach swim for the photogs. Oh, wait, she doesn't get embarrassed. Yes, Playtex 18 hour is the support she needs in at least one aspect of her screwed up life anyway.

#32 - Yes, crazed glazed over eyes. And the colored contacts only enhance it.

Posted at 1:45PM on Sep 26th 2007 by just sayin

45. I Love IT!!!!!!!!!! i think the dialogue is completely suitable to Britney and her current antics! She should stay home, stop being a pap whore, get clean, and take care of her kids.. the more she goes out, the more she will be photographed, picked on.. .whatever! It just shows the only person she cares about is herself! If she didn't want to be photographed or followed she's keep her ass at home with her kids where it belongs...

can anyone answer why does she always stop at various restrooms at gas stations, fast food restaurants, etc???? maybe a quick fix of whatever drugs she's on??? I usually use the bathroom before I leave the house... she's pathetic y'all.... LOL!

Posted at 1:45PM on Sep 26th 2007 by Rose

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