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Parenting Coach to Britney: I'm Not a Potted Plant!

10/23/2007 2:06 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

TMZ has learned Britney Spears' parenting coach has submitted her report to the court, and it ain't pretty.

Sources say the two-and-a-half page report says Britney totally ignored the coach -- didn't even acknowledge her presence. The coach says she was unable to teach Britney anything, because Spears didn't want to listen.

The report, which was presented to the court yesterday and will be critical in determining if Spears should regain 50/50 custody, concludes that Britney often ignores her kids and lives in her own little world -- that Britney often disappeared and wasn't around the kids or the coach. We're told the coach has said Brit spends a lot of time on the phone and changing clothes.










And on another note y'all, that BritBrit paparazzo sock is still up for grabs on eBay!

bid on the sock



Why FBI May Have Seized Copperfield's Stuff



David Copperfield is under the FBI microscope, and now TMZ may know why.

Last week, the FBI raided Copperfield's Las Vegas warehouse and seized digital camera equipment and a hard drive to a computer -- this, after a Seattle woman accused Copperfield of sexually assaulting her in the Bahamas.

Sources now tell TMZ Copperfield designed part of his show around "a system for picking up women." During his show, David goes into the audience and chooses women to come on stage. We're told that if David likes a girl, he'll use code words with assistants like "mama" and "secrecy." The assistants mark the women on a map of the inside of the Hollywood Theater at MGM Grand. After the show, the women are brought backstage -- and that's where the profiling begins.

The women are told that David may use them in his show when he comes to their hometown. They are then photographed with a digital camera, asked questions like, "What is your favorite men's cologne?" and "Where do you like to vacation?" We're told one of those vacation spots mentioned by staff is the Bahamas, where the accuser claims she was assaulted. Copperfield owns a cluster of islands in the Bahamas -- which he bought for $50 million.

This may explain the FBI's interest in David's camera system and hard drive. If the accuser is a woman who was brought on stage, the FBI would be interested in a possible M.O.

Copperfield's attorney re-issued his earlier statement in response to this story: "It is important these allegations be put into perspective. An unidentified woman has made serious allegations against David Copperfield. Although authorities have not revealed her identity to us, we know these allegations are false because David Copperfield has never forced himself on anyone."

Anderson Cooper: Armed and Fabulous



CNN golden boy Anderson Cooper is blowin' up -- literally!
Anderson Cooper
The 40-year-old news hottie showed up to a NYC screening of "Planet in Peril" this weekend, looking extra fit and buff. Check out those guns!

360 is not only the name of Coop's program -- it's also what he benches. Lift with the knees, Andy!



Heidi Montag on the Cheap


Heidi Montag: Click to watchUsually, the sight of a bikini-clad sexy blonde writhing around in the wet sand is hot ... somehow, Heidi Montag makes it ... hilarious.

Heidi and her unlovable boyfriend, Spencer Pratt, filmed her new music video last week -- with Spencer as sole cameraman to save money -- and it was appropriately cheesy! Our favorite is the boom box. Nice touch Spence.

Montag did some of her signature spastic Mariah Carey-wannabe hand movements -- while dancing around on a jetty -- a lone fisherman completely ignoring them as they filmed. You'll have to wait your turn to be oblivious.


COMMENTS

No Avatar
31.

Josie    

Who cares about all these people? I wish they would all just go away and there would be more interesting people who are news worthy to write about. Is that what these screw ups are all about? We don't want to see it or read about it anymore. It is sad, negative and a sorry way of life these people are living. Once famous and productive and now living off their royalties. Who cares about their shopping sprees and their partying life? These people don't have anything better to do with their lives because they think that is all there is to live for. They can't even take care of their children or themselves. It is very sad and negative news. Why don't you go out there and find REAL PEOPLE who do not work in the movie or tv industries to write about? Let us know what it is really like to be a person with substance. It is only dummies like you that keep making these people think that they are "star worthy." They are not stars. Stars shine and sparkle and are above it all. Give REAL PEOPLE ATTENTION. LET'S GET REAL AND GET OUT OF THE CITY DUMP.

2504 days ago
32.

r.man    

i think that brittiny isn t taking all this as seriously as she should be.superstar or not we all have to play by the same rules as everyone else.if not for herself taking responsibiliy she should think of the peopleshe loves the most. her kids and what effect this will have on their lives. our lives are based on decisions and the choices we make .let s hope brit wakes up and makes the right ones.

2504 days ago
33.

Melodee    

Britney's behaviour speaks loudly that she does not want her children. She will not listen to the judge, the coach (from whom she could learn much and impress the judge), her mother, her father, her ex-husband, her friends, ex-nannies. I'm wondering how someone who clearly knows so little thinks she has nothing to learn.

If it were me in court trying to get custody of my children, I would be jumping through every hoop the system put in front of me. Better yet, be a good mother and you avoid the hoops.

She is an ignorant, over-indulged twit who needs to get her act together before she slides into oblivion. Shoot, if she keeps up the way she's going she might end up on skid row where no one cares if you've always got a drink in one hand.

No one really cares about her, it the poor boys we care about. She doesn't deserve or want them. She should be doing two things - rehearsing her ass (and belly) off and spending all other free time with her children. Really with them, not just in the same room.

2504 days ago
34.

Ozzie    

LOL to the thought she (Brit) only "appears" as a bad mother cuz everyone following her around...The chick is out of whack and irresponsible no matter how much $$$$she has banked, it ain't really going to buy her too much real happiness and that is rather evident but what is worse, is that she brought those two boys INTO this world and DOES owe them bigtime responsibility which she is ignorring for personal pleasuring rather than of concernment for them. She is acting skanky, totally out of control, totally uncaring as a mother is expected to be ....Pity the children, none of it is their fault but they will suffer the consequences as well. Brit is behaving selfishly and it repeatedly shows !!!!

2504 days ago
35.

some sense    

It seems that Britney is a spoiled, disalusioned child....an attention junky. If everyone left her to herself, no one following her around, no one "enabling" her self indulgent behavior, she might hit rock bottom, see reality, and try to turn it around. Right now she seems to be reveling in all the press.

2504 days ago
36.

JoAnn    

And you wonder why your clothes aren't fitting? Keep drinking those 400+ calorie Frappaccino's, Brit!! Maybe if you'd pay as much attention to your kids as you do to keeping your had around that Starbuck's cup, you'd be in a different situation. Grow up and stop acting like the world owes you everything! You're nothing but trailer trash in expensive clothes!

2504 days ago
37.

Britney's moma    

Britney is a disgusting fat pig who cares only about herself. Her poor love starved kids shold be taken away for good! She should be thrown in the looney house and whipped until she becomes normal.

2504 days ago
38.

H. Dixon    

If Brit-Brit doesn't listen to her own mother and/or father, or her lawyer, or her personal assistant, or her recording representatives -- how in the world would anyone think that this parenting coach (or whatever she is) could get through to her? Britney isn't just a 'train wreck' she is a "plane crash" at 30,000 feet! She needs to be put away where psychiatrists and psychiatric care takers can look after her until if and when she ever comes back to reality! She is MENTALLY ILL, folks and needs to be treated immediately before it's too late! Why doesn't someone do something about her? Take her against her will, if need be -- but get away from Hollyweird and HER SOME HELP!!!!!!

2504 days ago
39.

evelynbco    

I feel sorry for Britney, she is so young and still does not know how to be a mom. I was 23 with 2 kids,oldest was 3 and a newborn, my husband cheatened on me and it was hard. When her kids become adults they will still remember whet has happened, I know, mine still do, it too late for me but not for her. I did not do drugs or drank very little, but is was very hard being a young mom. She need help and her mom.

2504 days ago
40.

one2etc    

I don't get it.......................isn't this woman's life her own business.................Talk about goodbye Norma Jean...............to many folk's seem to judge others for the lives they lead............couldn't you lend a hand here................the world is on the road to hell (and I'm not talking about dying)...........................get a grip, what about your own life....show some compasion.....this is another human being with thoughts and feelings just like you.
batter up.......................as you measure to others so it shall be measured to you




2504 days ago
41.

Glenda    

Britney has alot to learn about taking care of her kids, she should not be left alone with them... The pictrue of her driving with the kids in the back seat, with the top down on her convertible.. There are the kids in the HOT,BRIGHT L.A. SUN... They have NO hats on or sun glasses and I am sure NO sun screen on their little baby faces and arms.. If anyone has ever had babies ride in the back seat with the top down will understand.. How much wind they get in their faces... Plus anything can fly off anything into their eyes or on their heads.They probably cried all the way home... or to Starbucks....!!!!!

2504 days ago
42.

Sal    

She's a product of trailer trash and she is what she always was.

2504 days ago
43.

Sharon    

Speaking of LOSERS......the word is LOSE, LOSER or LOSERS........not LOOSE, LOOSER or LOOSERS!!!! LOOSE means ill-fitting, baggy, not tight, etc. Try learning to spell properly before posting messages in public!!! As for the person who said, and I quote, "screw the coach", you truly are a LOSER!!! What kind of advice is that to give someone who is supposed to be attempting to regain custody of her children?! Do you even understand that that coach who you think should be "screwed" was one of the conditions ORDERED BY THE COURT for Britney to comply with her training to try to help her get her children back?! I don't know anymore than anyone else what this girl's problems are, but she definitely has more than her share of them and, until such time as she learns to grow up and work out her problems, she has no business in the world trying to parent two small, innocent, defenseless little boys who are totally at her mercy!! She can't even take care of herself....what on earth makes anyone think she can take care of those children?!

2504 days ago
44.

willway73    

her music sucked from day one the only thing she had going for her was when she was young and everyone wanted to bang her now that she is all torn up and dropped a couple of slack jawwed yocals herself throw the bitch out and lets get another hot minor in baby girl shorts

2504 days ago
45.

Sheryl    

This poor kid never had a normal childhood, grew up in a sleaze ball family, and has not had much education .. so what can you expect?

Her mother was always dragging her off to the next place for the kid to perform like a trained seal. Her mother was only concerned that Britney make enough money to support the low-life family. She never bothered to try to be a good mother or to teach the kid how to be a responsible human being .. and that is becoming all to obvious now.

Britney doesn't communicate with the parenting coach because she doesn't know how to communicate with people! All she knows is singing (if you can call it that) and bouncing around like a junior high school kid.

It's kind of sad really!

2504 days ago
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