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Parenting Coach to Britney: I'm Not a Potted Plant!

10/23/2007 2:06 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

TMZ has learned Britney Spears' parenting coach has submitted her report to the court, and it ain't pretty.

Sources say the two-and-a-half page report says Britney totally ignored the coach -- didn't even acknowledge her presence. The coach says she was unable to teach Britney anything, because Spears didn't want to listen.

The report, which was presented to the court yesterday and will be critical in determining if Spears should regain 50/50 custody, concludes that Britney often ignores her kids and lives in her own little world -- that Britney often disappeared and wasn't around the kids or the coach. We're told the coach has said Brit spends a lot of time on the phone and changing clothes.










And on another note y'all, that BritBrit paparazzo sock is still up for grabs on eBay!

bid on the sock



Why FBI May Have Seized Copperfield's Stuff



David Copperfield is under the FBI microscope, and now TMZ may know why.

Last week, the FBI raided Copperfield's Las Vegas warehouse and seized digital camera equipment and a hard drive to a computer -- this, after a Seattle woman accused Copperfield of sexually assaulting her in the Bahamas.

Sources now tell TMZ Copperfield designed part of his show around "a system for picking up women." During his show, David goes into the audience and chooses women to come on stage. We're told that if David likes a girl, he'll use code words with assistants like "mama" and "secrecy." The assistants mark the women on a map of the inside of the Hollywood Theater at MGM Grand. After the show, the women are brought backstage -- and that's where the profiling begins.

The women are told that David may use them in his show when he comes to their hometown. They are then photographed with a digital camera, asked questions like, "What is your favorite men's cologne?" and "Where do you like to vacation?" We're told one of those vacation spots mentioned by staff is the Bahamas, where the accuser claims she was assaulted. Copperfield owns a cluster of islands in the Bahamas -- which he bought for $50 million.

This may explain the FBI's interest in David's camera system and hard drive. If the accuser is a woman who was brought on stage, the FBI would be interested in a possible M.O.

Copperfield's attorney re-issued his earlier statement in response to this story: "It is important these allegations be put into perspective. An unidentified woman has made serious allegations against David Copperfield. Although authorities have not revealed her identity to us, we know these allegations are false because David Copperfield has never forced himself on anyone."

Anderson Cooper: Armed and Fabulous



CNN golden boy Anderson Cooper is blowin' up -- literally!
Anderson Cooper
The 40-year-old news hottie showed up to a NYC screening of "Planet in Peril" this weekend, looking extra fit and buff. Check out those guns!

360 is not only the name of Coop's program -- it's also what he benches. Lift with the knees, Andy!



Heidi Montag on the Cheap


Heidi Montag: Click to watchUsually, the sight of a bikini-clad sexy blonde writhing around in the wet sand is hot ... somehow, Heidi Montag makes it ... hilarious.

Heidi and her unlovable boyfriend, Spencer Pratt, filmed her new music video last week -- with Spencer as sole cameraman to save money -- and it was appropriately cheesy! Our favorite is the boom box. Nice touch Spence.

Montag did some of her signature spastic Mariah Carey-wannabe hand movements -- while dancing around on a jetty -- a lone fisherman completely ignoring them as they filmed. You'll have to wait your turn to be oblivious.


COMMENTS

No Avatar
61.

Danielle    

First off Britney grew up to fast & with all that fame and fortune, she can't buy herself any self-esteem. Furthermore, she purchased her own engagement ring until her so-called ex husband Kevin, can pay her back with the money he made from her. It shows that from the moment she settled for him, her whole life went downhill. It takes only one as***le to destroy everything if you let them & he did. I'm surprised that no one has figured out that Kevin just simply Fed-her-a-line. It didn't work out with him & now she probably doesn't want to be stuck with the kids. He should have them & the child support.

2501 days ago
62.

Freedom Writer    

Why do they do this to that poor girl? She is trying to get back on her feet. And still she gets treated like S--t! Dang what is this crazy world coming too?

2501 days ago
63.

Jan    

DUH who would ever think Britney would listen to anyone....not even the judge can
make her be a dutiful mother and stop her stupid, childish acting for attention.

GROW UP does no good anymore either.

2501 days ago
64.

jamesnpost    

I love you morons who spout on and on about how the "media just keeps pushing Brit in our faces" -- yet you had to click on that link to get to this page (and they do keep track). You are self deluded suckers, suckers. Yes, you.

2501 days ago
65.

Scott    

I cant seem to take any of this Crap serious, But the NASTY TRAMP NEEDS IT UP THE POOP CHUTE.

2501 days ago
66.

Noel    

HaHa, sounds like the "Parent Coach" was p.o. at not getting the a**-kissing attention these social worker types are used to receiving from their often poor and powerless pupils. Which is not to say that Britney should have custody of her children--only that the "coach" seemed more concerned about how much attention SHE was getting than how much attention Spears pays to her children. The best coach for Spears would be an A.A. coach; once she gets off the juice and pidlls, she will doubtless be a better parent. But it is hardly surprising that Spears is acting out like this--she never had a proper childhood herself. Her example of "mothering" is that you go along with your child to all his/her auditions. Sounds like she's living out the childhood she was never allowed to have.

2501 days ago
67.

Licka Lotta Puss    

No kidding...are Heidi and Spencer the two biggest losers you ever saw? Fricken embarrassing.

2501 days ago
68.

dc    

I like that one #56 !!

Buttney speers is a high school drop out, can't sing, and a publicity hound from day one!! She calls up the paps every day before she leaves her house to tell them where she'll be.
She does not want those boy's. She has no use for those kids because Kevin Federline is gone from her life forever. And he's back with the love of his life, the beautiful Shar Jackson.

2501 days ago
69.

judecase    

Why is she always driving around with her kids when she has them? Doesn't the coach...observer drop them off at her home? She needs to be home cuddling,reading,playing,batheing,putting them to bed being a mom when she has the boys. She is not being a parent just someone who puts the boys on display when they are with her. Stay home and be a mom when the boys are with you listen to the parenting coach...looks fade your voice goes family is all you have in the end...cherish them.

2501 days ago
70.

Betty    

OK, AOL enough of Britney. Next subject please!!

2501 days ago
71.

Cora    

I think Brit has royally screwed up with the kids, and she needs serious help, but I can't blame her for not warming up to the parenting coach. What did the woman think? That Brit would welcome her with open arms? Most people wouldn't want to take parenting advice from their own mom or mother-in-law, why the heck would they want to take it from a complete stranger?

2501 days ago
72.

Vall    

It's obvious Brit doesn't care about her kids, she only cares about herself. Therefore I am totally for K-Fed getting full custody, her paying thousands a month in support, and being required to visit her kids once a week. The reason I think she should be required to visit her kids is because they shouldn't know that she doesn't really want them. The entire situation is sad for them and if she dumps them altogether then they'll have more problems than they do now. I also think she should get her tubes tied.

2501 days ago
73.

hora    

britney defenders, you can't argue with a parenting coach assigned by the court! these people are neutral and they are appointed to help, guide and teach you how to be better take care of you kids. obviously this trainwreck skank is too stupid, immature and selfish to even give have the decency to listen. she can't even treat others with manners and respect. i would love nothing more than to bitch slap some manners into her. i hope she gets nothing. she has proven she doesn't want those kids. i read on msn.com that she even said she didn't want them in the first first. selfsih bitch

2501 days ago
74.

Steph    

Interesting observation, Anna Nicole Smith, and Elvis Presley were trailer trash, too. This explains a lot, such as, her manners, morals, taste, and style. "You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear." And this sow takes the cake, okay she'd probably stuff the cake into her illiterate pie hole. I have said many times but I'll say it again, BRIT GO TO SCHOOL AND GET AN EDUCATION! "Beauty fades but stupid is forever." Veteran, USAF

2501 days ago
75.

Tracey    

Why do we as society keep reading about this trailer trash ho...she is a nasty looking blob now and I don't think she'll ever make a come back. She probably has a trail of std's by now too.

2501 days ago
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