Train Wrecks
Britney and the Chinese Babies: The Inner Dialog

Britney SpearsHey y'all, I knowed I been quiet for a whilers, but I had to set the records straghtenin' right about this Chinese babies story.

Y'see ... I tolded my Guatermalanian maid to get me two orders of Chinese for the babies. Well she don't hear too good, and she says I talk funny, so when she told Alli, she said, "Missy Britney want two Chinese babies." Before I knowed it, Alli found a redoption agency and filled up all them papers in. Coupla weeks later she's showin' me pictures of little Chinese babers and askin' me to choose which two do I want?!

I did not order me up some Chinese chirldrens. Heckers, if I wanted me some more babies I'd find me another K-Fart and make me some! I do not need to go all the way to Japan.




Filed under: Train Wrecks, Wacky & Weird, Britney Spears

Reader Comments

(Page 4 of 7)Previous 15 Comments | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Most Recent | Next 15 Comments

46. The Southern accent writing was brilliant! Where did you learn how to write like that!????

Posted at 10:52AM on Nov 27th 2007 by Charlemagne

47. Harvey, how long before you block this email address? TMZ is apparently threatened by Pro-Britney comments that point out that TMZ turned against Britney when Kaplan took K-Loser's case. They constantly block me and delete my comments. Kaplan and Harvey had a sweet deal going on off Britney's back. I mean- it's not like she couldn't have prevented it. She has made very, very stupid decisions about her life in the name of "love", and she could have prevented all of it, but that doesn't diminish the fact that TMZ is a propaganda tool for Kaplan and his high profile friends in LA.

Posted at 10:58AM on Nov 27th 2007 by 1whoknows

48. 1whoknows you are a true Brittard! If you don't like that TMZ is attacking your queen why not go to x17online they worship your girl over there.

Posted at 11:02AM on Nov 27th 2007 by Brittards

49. THAT IS JUST CLASSIC. I LOVE TMZ! I know how TMZ loves to make up names...how about Brittards for the really dumb Britney followers. The Brittards are pissed that you are insulting their queen.

Posted at 11:02AM on Nov 27th 2007 by Brittards

50. Seriously, between the god awful visual look, the pathetically ghetto TV show, and these sorry a$$ writers, this site is so much suckier than ones run by regular people who don't have NEARLY the budget that TMZ does.

This was like an SNL skit - not funny, and went on for a painfully long time.

Posted at 11:04AM on Nov 27th 2007 by This site BLOWS

51. Why cant Y'ALL leave her alone, my god its crazy crazy, I was watching the video of her bakcing out that would absolutely drive me insane. You all need to lighten up she IS a human being and a good person in reality. You are making her the way she is becoming, for gods sake LEAVE her alone. Its pathetic how the paparazzi and the media harass her, in all seriousness, this is serious,

JUST SHUT UP please, its just not fair and leave her alone.

Posted at 11:04AM on Nov 27th 2007 by ugh

52. You know what - You at TMZ should all be ASHAMED of yourselves. I hope that someone treats your daughter or sister or mother like this - so you can be on the other end.......... This site is pathetic - oh and also - I have never even stopped at the channel when your show is on.............................

Posted at 11:18AM on Nov 27th 2007 by Lincoln

53. oh and you know who should be thrown in prison? sarah silverman for calling britney's kids "mistakes" at the mtv awards. heckle her all you want. but you NEVER call a child a mistake. low blow and STUPID joke. fart humor is getting old. and so are the "ding dang" britney blogs. they could be much more amusing.

Posted at 11:27AM on Nov 27th 2007 by Tiffany

54. like i said, and like tmz won't post, britney probably has post partum depression mixed with an extreme personality disorder as well as sever self image issues. brooke shields made post partum depression known when tom cruise infamously slandered her for taking meds to help her deal with the disease.
when one is a sex symbol by the time they are 16 years old, the public should expect them to be confused and irrational later on in their early adulthood. and that jerk ferderline should have been awake enough to help her instead of stoned out of his gourde and giving up. im sure he is the more sane of the two parents, but it takes two to tango. im sure she is difficult and stubborn, but she is a human. and the public helped make her this monster.

Posted at 11:29AM on Nov 27th 2007 by Tiffany

55. and last but not least... the infamous buzzed head... yeah they use hair for drug testing right? in fact, exact days drugs were used can be found in one strang of hair. hmmmm.

Posted at 11:31AM on Nov 27th 2007 by Tiffany

56. #2: Oh it most definitely IS funny! I was crying I was laughing so hard! Who writes this stuff? keep it coming......

Posted at 11:34AM on Nov 27th 2007 by JJ

57. Did TMZ ever explain the refrigrator picture regarding Anna Nicole Smith? It was a fake! ?? Hey you guys have Rita Crosby writing for you or just regular idiots?????? I'm not a Britney fan - too old! You people should thank her everytime you cash a paycheck!!! I would be so disappointed in my children if they did the TMZ thing for a living. Thank God, they have brains!!!! Harvey, shame on you. What kind of lawyer are/were you? Ambulance chaser? By the way, I'm southern and we do not talk like your idiot writers. Writers - NOT

Posted at 11:35AM on Nov 27th 2007 by just my opinion

58. Twitney! (thats funny),she's a total idiot.

Posted at 11:56AM on Nov 27th 2007 by bill

59. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! DING DANG... Y'ALL NEED TO FIND YOURSELVES A SENSE OF HUMOR...THEM THERE SOME FUNNY STUFF!!!

Posted at 12:03PM on Nov 27th 2007 by TMZFAN

60. JJ. you fall under the "most deluded sense of humor" catagory. find something that actually merits laughter and run with that instead of finding banter with an OLD, PLAYED OUT JOKE. seriously, i feel like im reading the same knock knock joke from my five year old nephew everytime i read the britney columns. get some FRESH material. i cannot believe you all get PAID to write this TALENTLESS dribble. is your cerebellum slobbering yet? someone needs to start watching more south park, arrested development, or the office again. LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT COMEDY. i suggest george carlin or patton oswalt. but that's just me. buenos dias!

Posted at 12:09PM on Nov 27th 2007 by Tiffany

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