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Britney and the Chinese Babies: The Inner Dialog

11/27/2007 12:30 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF

Britney SpearsHey y'all, I knowed I been quiet for a whilers, but I had to set the records straghtenin' right about this Chinese babies story.

Y'see ... I tolded my Guatermalanian maid to get me two orders of Chinese for the babies. Well she don't hear too good, and she says I talk funny, so when she told Alli, she said, "Missy Britney want two Chinese babies." Before I knowed it, Alli found a redoption agency and filled up all them papers in. Coupla weeks later she's showin' me pictures of little Chinese babers and askin' me to choose which two do I want?!

I did not order me up some Chinese chirldrens. Heckers, if I wanted me some more babies I'd find me another K-Fart and make me some! I do not need to go all the way to Japan.

98 COMMENTS

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46.

Bunny Rabbit    

Seriously, between the god awful visual look, the pathetically ghetto TV show, and these sorry a$$ writers, this site is so much suckier than ones run by regular people who don't have NEARLY the budget that TMZ does.

This was like an SNL skit - not funny, and went on for a painfully long time.

2468 days ago
47.

fathead    

oh and you know who should be thrown in prison? sarah silverman for calling britney's kids "mistakes" at the mtv awards. heckle her all you want. but you NEVER call a child a mistake. low blow and STUPID joke. fart humor is getting old. and so are the "ding dang" britney blogs. they could be much more amusing.

2468 days ago
48.

TP    

You know what - You at TMZ should all be ASHAMED of yourselves. I hope that someone treats your daughter or sister or mother like this - so you can be on the other end.......... This site is pathetic - oh and also - I have never even stopped at the channel when your show is on.............................

2468 days ago
49.

fathead    

like i said, and like tmz won't post, britney probably has post partum depression mixed with an extreme personality disorder as well as sever self image issues. brooke shields made post partum depression known when tom cruise infamously slandered her for taking meds to help her deal with the disease.
when one is a sex symbol by the time they are 16 years old, the public should expect them to be confused and irrational later on in their early adulthood. and that jerk ferderline should have been awake enough to help her instead of stoned out of his gourde and giving up. im sure he is the more sane of the two parents, but it takes two to tango. im sure she is difficult and stubborn, but she is a human. and the public helped make her this monster.

2468 days ago
50.

fathead    

and last but not least... the infamous buzzed head... yeah they use hair for drug testing right? in fact, exact days drugs were used can be found in one strang of hair. hmmmm.

2468 days ago
51.

Sick of It All    

#2: Oh it most definitely IS funny! I was crying I was laughing so hard! Who writes this stuff? keep it coming......

2468 days ago
52.

mySTRONGopinion    

Did TMZ ever explain the refrigrator picture regarding Anna Nicole Smith? It was a fake! ?? Hey you guys have Rita Crosby writing for you or just regular idiots?????? I'm not a Britney fan - too old! You people should thank her everytime you cash a paycheck!!! I would be so disappointed in my children if they did the TMZ thing for a living. Thank God, they have brains!!!! Harvey, shame on you. What kind of lawyer are/were you? Ambulance chaser? By the way, I'm southern and we do not talk like your idiot writers. Writers - NOT

2468 days ago
53.

Kitty    

I think it's pretty tacky for you to continually make fun of Britney's Southern accent. Think about it, if you made fun of another kind of accent, most people would find it unacceptable. I'm no Britney fan but this is in very poor taste on your part.

2468 days ago
54.

fathead    

JJ. you fall under the "most deluded sense of humor" catagory. find something that actually merits laughter and run with that instead of finding banter with an OLD, PLAYED OUT JOKE. seriously, i feel like im reading the same knock knock joke from my five year old nephew everytime i read the britney columns. get some FRESH material. i cannot believe you all get PAID to write this TALENTLESS dribble. is your cerebellum slobbering yet? someone needs to start watching more south park, arrested development, or the office again. LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT COMEDY. i suggest george carlin or patton oswalt. but that's just me. buenos dias!

2468 days ago
55.

TOTOT    

that blond guy from TMZ is hot ,,...
i had a wet dream with him last night!!!
hey baby what's up!!!

2468 days ago
56.

anonymous    

fly on the wall,I agree with you on this,oh can you tell me another way of posting my comments instead of going to my e-mail? thanks.

2468 days ago
57.

Jimmy    

That was a hilarious well written piece, LMAO @ "heckers"...... For all those who scould TMZ for reporting non news and being boring, are the most loyal viewers

2468 days ago
58.

Susie    

Wow, I feel I got dumb after reading that. TMZ, what was the purpose of this post??

2468 days ago
59.

Herpy-pAris Hilton    

EAT ME ! EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2468 days ago
60.

what ?    

HA HA ! LOL ! Of Course it is funny ... she said she doesnt have to go to JAPAN for CHiNeSE babies !! Japan is not China for all you ignorant folk LOL !!! dam ~ she is actually getting even more stupid then I thought she was in the first place.

2468 days ago
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