Behold! Newest Scientolodroid Debuts!

David Letterman made television history yesterday when, for the very first time, he welcomed an android as a guest on his show. It did not jump on the chairs.


When the KH-9878 Scientolobot™ arrived, its Sociability Module had not yet been uploaded, and it entered the Ed Sullivan Theater without greeting the waiting press and gawking public. Note its remarkable Wintour-o-Bob Cranial Headgear!

As the KH-9878 was properly configured, it demonstrated remarkable human-like dexterity with an ordinary pen -- not to mention a fetching set of "gams."

Watch the world-premiere demonstration.



Reader Comments

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16. I don't understand why everyone is so hard on Katie. Just 'cause she isn't falling down drunk and flashing her hoo-hah like the rest of these numbskulls, she's a robot? Clearly sanity, modesty, and moderation are not "in" for 2008.

Posted at 3:06PM on Jan 15th 2008 by LiveFast.DiePretty.

17. LMAO - TMZ, whoever writes for you is hysterical!! This is great :)

Posted at 3:09PM on Jan 15th 2008 by perky

18. lol #8 thats so funny coz that drives me crazy as well...every thing with Katie is AMAZING..Toms Amazing..Cookies are even Amazing..When you're happy and your life is really AMAZING you dont spend every moment trying to convince others of it..Poor Suri..and I bet Nicole is really happy she got out of that cult marriage and has a real hubby now.

Posted at 3:16PM on Jan 15th 2008 by dirksgirl

19. I am the first to say Tom Cruise is a bonafide nutjob, but whover wrote this needs to go back and take some writing lessons. I mean seriously, this is some lame cheesy writing. I've seen seventh graders who wrote better than this.

Posted at 3:13PM on Jan 15th 2008 by Lumberjacksrock

20. That AMAZING comment was funny. He says it too. I did notice on the program she was very very reserved. In fact, you could tell she wanted to say how "cool" it was that her father and brother had run races, but she carefully put in the word "great". And you could tell she was very cautious when she had stumbled. I don't know what is going on there but its a bit much. But she would not be the first wife that was quite a bit younger than the husband. The husband usually likes this so he can control the situation.
You have got to check out this site. It really freaks me out as far as scientology goes. I was not caring either way, now I think - good god they are all whacked!

www.whyaretheydead.net

Posted at 3:18PM on Jan 15th 2008 by Nooo she didint!

21. 7. How presumptuous of her. She carries her own sharpie. Gah!

Posted at 3:02PM on Jan 15th 2008 by FelicityShagwell
________________________________________________

Probably cautious more than presumptuous, being a new mom she may want to stay away from the crowd germs, I would.

Posted at 3:17PM on Jan 15th 2008 by Adrienne

22. Where is Katie Holmes and what have they done with her?

Posted at 3:47PM on Jan 15th 2008 by Michele

23. Scientolodroid = 21st century Stepford Wives

Posted at 3:23PM on Jan 15th 2008 by Denise Moreth

24. Why does your writing staff feel the need to be so cynical? Why is our society always looking to pick at something. She is beautiful, seems happy in her life, marriage and has a gorgeous child and by all accounts seems to be a great step mom. I say live and let live and stop trippin on her religion. You are only perpetuating intolerance and hate.

Posted at 3:23PM on Jan 15th 2008 by SG, NE

25. A former boss of mine was a Scientologist. When he left, they harrassed him by phone for years. Creepy.

Posted at 12:06AM on Jan 17th 2008 by Anonymous

26. She has turned into a robot-a shell of a person-looks empty to me,very plastic,guarded and fake and sad

Posted at 3:26PM on Jan 15th 2008 by Tom

27. TOM CRUISE IS ADDICTED TO BLACK MEN!!!!!!!!!

Posted at 3:31PM on Jan 15th 2008 by I HAVE LICKED TOM CRUISE. TWICE!

28. I saw the show last night. It was uncomfortable to watch for some reason. I agree with the other poster that said she was very cautious during the interview. I'm sure she is "coached" before she goes on. The fact that she tried to ask Dave questions like she was really interested made it obvious of Tom's influence.

Oh, and forget Amazing! Her new word is MAGICAL! Suri is Magical, life with Suri is Magical. I guess so when you can leave her with a nanny whenever the going gets tough. Oh Please!

With all this Magical talk, maybe she is Willy Wonka!! Too funny whoever wrote that!

Posted at 3:36PM on Jan 15th 2008 by Figgynoz

29. I think she has just grown up and isn't a little girl anymore. I think she and Tom are very happy, as she said it just keeps betting better and better. I don't for the life of me understand how you people cannot see and accept that. They are happy, read my lips. She is not a stepford wife she just grew up!! End of story.

Posted at 3:38PM on Jan 15th 2008 by Lori

30. WHO CARES?????

Posted at 3:38PM on Jan 15th 2008 by Suzie

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