Paris' New Rex Tape

46. WHO HAS'NT HIT THIS HO.....

Posted at 4:33PM on Feb 8th 2008 by FROM ME

47. Hope Paris knows he was in a gay porn vid bac kin the day....no joke...

Posted at 5:10PM on Feb 8th 2008 by Curtis

48. Dear Paris,

You are the best role model.
Everyone wants to be just like you.
You are sweet and cuddly and talented and beautiful.
You have millions of loyal fans who love you.
You are so popular.

800 Pound Gorilla

Posted at 5:12PM on Feb 8th 2008 by 800 Pound Gorilla

49. She wore the same dress the next day on Ellen. Stinky scank.

Posted at 6:40PM on Feb 8th 2008 by Princess and the Z

50. Well, the reviews of the H&N are in, and they’re pretty scathing. Variety, Entertainment Weekly, The Rolling Stone, The Village Voice -- just to name a few out of dozens -- really trashed the film and Hilton. Apparently, she put her own money into this clunker, which is why she wouldn’t let it go to DVD. She wanted to push the film to hawk all of “her” merchandise she didn't design or create.

Posted at 7:04PM on Feb 8th 2008 by GeorgeS

51. The secret is finally out: The 800 Pound Gorilla is Kathy Hilton. (Sorry, Jim.)

Posted at 7:27PM on Feb 8th 2008 by Bill

52. yOU KNOW WHAT IS SAD--ALL THESE PEOPLE WANT HELP AND THEY GO FOR IT, THE ONE WHO REALLY NEEDS IT RUNS LIKE HELL FROM THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO HELP

SO SAD

Posted at 8:04PM on Feb 8th 2008 by barbarab

53. Entertainment Weekly-The Farrelly brothers could burp out a movie funnier than The Hottie & the Nottie, a farce of corrupt stereotypes that's never more grotesque than when it pretends to be more than skin-deep. D+

from the globe-Since Moore and Lakin are professionals, they're able to give Nate and June's sub-screwball dialogue a bit of snap even when the momentum slows to a crawl. As Nate's fat-slob best friend, The Greg Wilson (that's how he's billed) is supposed to be crassly charming and manages the first half of the equation.

Then there's Hilton. She delivers her lines in an unmodulated near-whisper and keeps her head lowered, gazing up at Nate as if she'd learned Acting Position #1 and then dropped the class. The film poses her in a succession of bikinis, mini-tops, and short shorts, none of which give her the presence necessary to actually hold the screen. Her head seems too small for her body and stuck on at an odd angle. She resembles nothing so much as a tiny blond velociraptor.

That's cruel, I know, but one's mind wanders when a movie's evaporating up there on the screen. More crucially, there's not a whit of mystery to Hilton, as there must be for any proper movie star. How can there be mystery when she's everywhere in our culture, from reality shows to Internet sex videos to tabloid websites to perfumes and other personal brand extensions? With all her wealth and meaningless celebritude, Hilton is incapable of doing the one thing most of us desperately wish she would do: Go away.

The Hottie & the Nottie - a cinematic excursion so horrific that it's an insult to bad movies to call it a bad movie. One question that might cross the curious movie-goer's mind is who in his/her right mind would hire Paris Hilton, professional celebrity and amateur porn star, to headline a mainstream romantic comedy. Some insight to the answer can be found by perusing the credits, which list Ms. Hilton as an Executive Producer. Since Executive Producers are often responsible for providing the money, this explains a lot.

The first thing one notices upon watching this film is how shoddy the production looks. Compared to this, Cloverfield was slickly filmed. The director's shot selection is dull and static. The sound mix is awful. And the movie looks like it was filmed on someone's home video camera. Although the credits claim that Tom Putnam directed The Hottie & the Nottie and Heidi Ferrer wrote it, it wouldn't surprise me - based on the quality of the evidence - if Paris didn't have a hand in both of those areas as well. It's hard to imagine that professionals with a clue about what they are doing could arrive at such an abortion of a motion picture.

The Hottie & the Nottie contains several comedic sequences that are about as funny as the anal rape scene in The War Zone. It's as if the filmmakers scoured the worst of recent comedies and stole the most lackluster scenes. A pair of women sitting close to me laughed frequently during the movie, but it was immediately clear they were laughing at it not with it. Paris' philosophical ruminations got the loudest chuckles.

Posted at 8:19PM on Feb 8th 2008 by Just a few reviews on skanky and her hot movie

54. One would think that after increasingly embarrassing forays into reality television, the Internet and the penitentiary, Paris Hilton might have taken a moment to reflect on her choices. Or perhaps not: with “The Hottie & the Nottie” Ms. Hilton proves yet again that introspection — not to mention shame — is as alien to her as a life without paparazzi.

Posted at 8:27PM on Feb 8th 2008 by Just a few reviews on skanky and her hot movie

55. I seen your movie
i don't love you anymore
you are a vampid pig
i won't buy your dvd's of the simple life anymore
i would rather eat dumn flakes for breakfast


800 Pound Gorilla

Posted at 8:39PM on Feb 8th 2008 by 800 Pound Gorilla

56. Chicago Tribune ½ star/4 "… so stupendously, predictably bad that it doesn't merit much more than the usual sentence or two about the decline of Western civilization and the unfortunate sense of entitlement bred into modern hotel heiresses."
Entertainment Weekly D+ "… a farce of corrupt stereotypes that's never more grotesque than when it pretends to be more than skin-deep."
Hollywood Reporter N/A "Clearly hoping to capitalize on the star's notoriety, what should have gone straight to video has inexplicably wound up as a theatrical release."
Rolling Stone ½ star/4 "… it takes guts (or gross dim-wittedness) to appear on screen again after House of Wax."
TV Guide 0 stars/4 "… preposterous, disingenuous, remarkably unfunny and genuinely distasteful."
Variety N/A "A certain disappointment sets in when the consummate awfulness subsides after an hour, becoming slightly less painful. But then, dropping a hammer on your foot improves that way, too."
Village Voice N/A "Crass, shrill, disingenuous, tawdry, mean-spirited, vulgar, idiotic, boring, slapdash, half-assed, and very, very unfunny …"

Posted at 9:03PM on Feb 8th 2008 by Reviews of my Purrfect Daughter!

57. Dear Paris,

There is another mean 800 Pound gorilla posting on TMZ.
I am the 800 pound gorilla who loves you.
I gotta see The Hottie And The Nottie.
I gotta wait until it comes out on DVD.
You are my favorite actress.
You bring joy to my furry life.
I have two more episodes of The Simple Life 5 to watch now.
I hope you make many more DVDS.
I adore you.

800 pound gorilla who loves you.

Posted at 9:30PM on Feb 8th 2008 by 800 Pound Gorilla

58. Dear Paris,

I want a refund for my collection of dvd's of The Simple Life
I seen your movie
I think you are a dirty ape and bring shame to our family
I need that refund to buy my dumn flakes
I found someone new to stalk


800 Pound Gorilla

Posted at 9:42PM on Feb 8th 2008 by 800 Pound Gorilla

59. 50. The secret is finally out: The 800 Pound Gorilla is Kathy Hilton. (Sorry, Jim.)

Posted at 7:27PM on Feb 8th 2008 by Bill

you know Bill you just may be right, only a mother could talk that way about Paris and we ALL know Kathy trolls this site and kinda pathetic when you think about it, Gorilla is the only one who ever says anything nice.

Posted at 9:51PM on Feb 8th 2008 by 800 Pound Gorilla is Kathy Hilton

60. Dear Paris,

I can't wait to see your movie The Hottie And The Nottie.
I watch The Simple Life 1-5 Over and Over and Over again.
You have lots of talent and character.
I worship you.

Quack, quack, quack, quack.

Donald Duck

Posted at 11:52AM on Feb 9th 2008 by Donald Duck