K-Fed Getting Soft

46. Leave the Heath issue alone. Who cares if Michelle did not allow their daughter to be their at the funeral. She after all only 2 years old will not even remember this event at all. So leave this alone.

Posted at 5:07PM on Feb 10th 2008 by Lisa

47. Right on, K-Fed!! You are turning out to be a much better person than I gave you credit for. Please keep up the great job and help take care of your babies' mamma. Peace!

Posted at 5:35PM on Feb 10th 2008 by jollyex

48. To: Whatever, just a thought, 123 bob and another victim of bi-polar illness....you've expressed exactly what I've wanted to say but you've said it so much better. Keep repeating your posts until they're understood. Someone said abusers like to keep company with other abusers. They say that they are toxic abusers. They were talking about Kev and Lynne. If Brit is keeping company with Lynne then by the same token Brit is keeping company with an abuser. So this must mean that Brit is an abuser because she is keeping company with her mother Lynne who is supposedly an abuser too.

Posted at 5:39PM on Feb 10th 2008 by My Opinion

49. Just judging from verified public behavior (and taking any "sources say" with a huge bucket of salt), Federline is doing okay by all his kids. He's not dragging them around like an accessory dog to get flashbulbs in their faces. His ex Shar Jackson has said more than once that he's a very good father (I recall her using the words "amazing dad" in a recent tv interview, and also "great dad" somewhere else). She also has said he was a terrible boyfriend... So she would blast him for dereliction of parental duties if she could. In the tv interview, she seemed like a very together person -- she also mentioned that it isn't hard to keep kids out of the public eye (as she and her ex do), that many people in Hollywood manage to do just that. She said you just have to stay home with them. She also mentioned that Federline makes sure their daughters and his sons get together so they will know each other -- she very much approved of that, since they're family and should know each other. I've also noticed that he does not block access to the kids by their maternal grandparents in any way. I don't see anything nefarious in this - it just is more evidence that whatever problems he has had with adult relationships are not affecting his ability to be a sensible parent.

As far as money is concerned - B. and K. had a prenup that included money settlements if they divorced. I've heard conflicting stories about how much and how long. One source said that it was supposed to be a million dollar lump sum, but was changed to $20,000 per month for life (kind of like lottery winner provisions....) and some other source indicated certain payments were only for 2 years. Anyway, I imagine the reasons for such provisions are the same reasons that my mother was awarded (although never received) alimony payments as well as child support. The spouse is assumed to have some direct or indirect positive impact on the other one's earning power, if the other spouse was the big income producer. That was certainly true for my mother - in addition to managing the household and raising the kids single-handed even when the guy was around, she also entertained his business contacts at the house (doing all the prep for parties and hosting) and quit a good-paying job to do all that (so when they divorced, she had been out of the job market for many years and had a really tough time getting a job that paid enough to support us, since he never paid a dime). No matter what outsiders think from all the gossip sites, B. and K. must have thought K. would be at least useful enough to B. to warrant some cash after the split. The prenup also specified 50/50 joint custody of any children.

Regarding child support -- that is decided by the courts based on relative income and needs. I can't imagine that Federline could misuse those funds for any other purpose without B.'s lawyers being all over him, as well as the media. It's too famous a case. And because of their famous mother, the kids really do need some things that are pricey (e.g., bodyguards). Federline has said that he hopes B. will stay part of the kids' lives and his actions in the custody dispute really do support that (he has been flexible on the issue), so I don't think he has any intention of keeping them away from her as long as they will be safe. But her behavior has simply not been safe for the kids. Any other mother would have lost her kids either to the ex or to the foster care system long ago. Yes, there are worse parents out there -- but they aren't in the middle of a child custody dispute, where the court is trying to decide the best thing for the kids and thoroughly investigating and evaluating everybody involved with the children (both parents, other family members and friends and girflfriends/boyfriiends or stepparents who spend significant time with them). K. has undoubtedly been going through the same evaluations as B., the difference is just that he's cooperated with the court and the evaluations have obviously come out positive. Otherwise - those kids would be in foster care. I don't personally know Federline, but my impression of him is that even though a little goofy - he shows no signs of psychosis and doesn't even seem like a druggie. His ex Shar Jackson has said he liked marijuana but never did anything harder, and it's possible that this is correct from his appearance and demeanor. I'm sure he became pristine pure in such matters before seeking more custody, though, since he knew the court would most likely order drug testing these days.

If the reported diagnosis of bipolar is correct for B. - I can tell you from personal experience that it is hell to live with a untreated bipolar person who is even always unipolar depressed. I imagine it would be even worse with someone swinging between mania and depression. Marriages do break up because of it, especially if kids are involved. B. was showing serious signs of trouble long before she pulled K. "out of the chorus line" and asked him to marry her. Her existing symptoms were probably made worse by pregnancy and childbirth, but I doubt very much that K. had anything at all to do with it. If he was going out a lot on his own - this suggests he was trying to get away from her as she became more and more difficult to be around. Believe me, untreated people with various mental illnesses or drug problems will try the patience of a saint. K. probably had no idea what to do - most people don't, they just want to run away, like when staring any natural disaster like a tornado in the face. So if he is to be trashed for not knowing how to "help" her -- he's in good company. It's nice when a spouse can help someone come back from the brink, but I suspect B.'s problems were so severe that there may have been nothing that would have worked at that time. I wouldn't personally fault K. for not knowing how to handle her problems. I imagine that the push for custody really did come from a concern for the kid's safety based on K.'s own experiences with B., because I can also tell you that untreated mentally ill or druggie parents are at the very least confusing and scary for children. At worst, they're downright dangerous. Let's just say I'm really really glad that dear old dad wasn't around much.... he was definitely an alcoholic, since alcohol was the drug of choice back then, but also might have been undiagnosed bipolar himself -- my mother had trouble paying the bills even when he made good money, since he would run off with the paycheck and spend it on things he would use once and then stuff in the closet (sounds like B. and her shopping sprees.... but she has more money to burn!). So I think he was alternating some degree of mania with depression. One of his family members diagnosed with bipolar is convinced that's what he had also.

If B. stabilizes with medication, hopefully all this will change. Maybe some day they could safely go back to 50/50 custody, but not any time soon. Also even if on proper medication, B. will quite possibly still have other problems that will increase the stresses of parenthood - the coping mechanisms of a lifetime do not vanish with treatment, it's just the biochemical yo-yo that goes to normal. At least her driving might improve, though -- in my diagnosed bipolar relative, the only time I worried about his safety driving was when his medication was being adjusted after diagnosis (can take quite a while), because the drugs managed to shift him more toward the manic side for some time. He was very happy, but dangerous behind the wheel. That would explain B.'s difficulties, besides the obvious problems driving through a swarm of pap pests. But for a long time, I've also worried that B. could unpredictably turn suicidal (a high risk with bipolars and schizophrenics-she could easily be either or both, she's the right age for the symptoms to get very bad), and mothers who kill themselves often take their kids with them. So in all sorts of ways, she really has been a danger to those kids for a very long time, it just became more obvious more recently. I hope she just realizes that the kids are safe with her ex and it's okay for her to go somewhere else for a long time to really recover, that she doesn't have to have custody to prove she loves her kids. Maybe video conferencing would be a good way to keep the kids knowing their mom , since that can be done from anywhere, anytime.

Posted at 5:37PM on Feb 10th 2008 by jwoolman

50. I know about bipolar parenting from both sides. My mother was bipolar and refused to get treated because she had heard that lithium stole your creativity which she equated with losing her mind. She wasn't physically abusive but she put me through the wringer emotionally and psychologically. I grew up, got away from her and then had my own children. When I listened to myself doing to my kids what my mother did to me, I went and got help. My daughter still cringes if I raise my voice. I just hope that she can learn from what she went through and stop it even sooner because she has it too. It hasn't skipped a generation in my family for at least 5 generations that I know of.

Posted at 5:56PM on Feb 10th 2008 by Bipolarsufferer

51. To: jwoolman; To you I say AMEN!, AMEN!, AMEN!....save your great post and keep posting it AGAIN, AGAIN, and AGAIN!

Posted at 7:05PM on Feb 10th 2008 by My Opinion

52. To: jwoolman: To you I say AMEN!, AMEN!, AMEN! Save your great post and keep repeating it AGAIN!, AGAIN! & AGAIN!

Posted at 7:04PM on Feb 10th 2008 by My Opinion

53. To:jwoolman: To you I say AMEN!, AMEN!, AMEN! Save your great post and keep saying it AGAIN!, AGAIN! and AGAIN!

Posted at 7:03PM on Feb 10th 2008 by My Opinion

54. To #27 Boycott X17, yes, Debbie Rowe had contacted the D.A. about info she had on Jackson and little boys. She was due to testify and she when she got on the stand she refused to cooperate and suddenly began telling what a wonderful father Jackson is. Her lawyer was supposed to get visitation for her with the 2 kids and suddenly it was all over. She ended up with some money and Jackson took off for overseas. I lived about 30 miles north of Santa Maria where the last trial was and it was a nightmare. All the idiots who came by bus from the L.A. area in support of his sorry butt. Oh yeah, I believe he paid Rowe off...sick pair of people aren't they?!

Posted at 6:35PM on Feb 10th 2008 by completely disgusted

55. Er, I don't think Heather is STOMPING mad. I believe the correct term is, she is HOPPING mad. ;-)

Posted at 6:49PM on Feb 10th 2008 by Cosmic Canine

56. To: jwoolman: To you I say AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! Save your great post and keep posting it AGAIN! AGAIN! and AGAIN!

Posted at 7:01PM on Feb 10th 2008 by My Opinion

57. Of course K-leech is a good dad. lets see, he has nannies, bodyguards, home, new cars. nice cloths all BILLS paid, including child support to SHAR, AND DOESNT WORK. WHO wouldnt be a good parent with those kinds of BENIFITS. He now is trying to be nice , because DADDY SPEARS isnt going to play around. Save some of that money KEVIN. something tells me Daddy Spears is coming after you NEXT.!!!!

Posted at 7:49PM on Feb 10th 2008 by Mirror, mirror on the wall

58. Posted at 7:49PM on Feb 10th 2008 by Mirror, mirror on the wall
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You my friend are an idiot !I suppose you think the boys would be better off with Britney ?Let me repost for you what I posted earlier -
I would have to agree it is child abuse to let a bi-polar parent have custody of ANY CHILDREN they have .My Mom once tried to throw me into the surf in a manic high thinking ...well I'm not quite sure WHAT SHE WAS THINKING ,but thank god there were other people there to save me (I was 3 1/2 and couldn't swim!) .To bad those strangers didnt call the police when it happened it would of saved me from many many years of hate and loathing of my Mother !Any situation would have been better than having to protect myself from my own Mother .
Kevin should NEVER let Britney have any unsupervised visitation ...period .

Posted at 3:54PM on Feb 10th 2008 by Another victem of bi polar illness
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If that dont help you understand nothing EVER will !!!!

Posted at 8:01PM on Feb 10th 2008 by Another victem of bi polar illness

59. Another victem of bi polar illness, I don't think Mirror, Mirror on the Wall was trying to say that Britney would be a good parent, and in Britney's defense if she gets treatment and stays with it she might be okay. I think Mirror was trying to say that K-Fed was not a good parent, either.

Of course, if you go by results, I'm not sure there's a good parent among the lot of them. Don't know about Sharlene though.

Posted at 8:21PM on Feb 10th 2008 by Bipolarsufferer

60. thanx "enjoy" ive seen them already,,,including the spread eagles....that snatch sure looks delicious,,,but Paul mccartney mustve been at the advance state of senility not to discover those pics before marriage!!!

Posted at 8:28PM on Feb 10th 2008 by RoughDaddy