Paris -- One Step Closer to Becoming a Stripper

16. Dear Paris,

Happy Birthday.
I love to watch you dance.
Your outfits are so sexy.
You are so hot.
I would like to give you a furry hug.

800 Pound Gorilla

Posted at 11:39AM on Feb 17th 2008 by 800 Pound Gorilla

17. I'm sure that since she has the brain the size of a pea she doesn't remember saying that she's learned her lesson and is going to do good things with her life after her "confinement". She's a real class act!

Posted at 11:40AM on Feb 17th 2008 by gossip fan

18. God, she just looks like a disgusting WHORE! Oh, wait. Maybe that's cuz she is. Ew. I can't stand Parasite Hilton.

Posted at 11:40AM on Feb 17th 2008 by Michelle

19. Love the out fits, but the bra looks "stuffed" with padding -- she's not that big on top in real life.

Posted at 11:45AM on Feb 17th 2008 by Bill Clinton

20. Btw porn and burlesque I think she did good with her "Paris in a champagne" glass shtick. She's still kind of stiff...but it's better than her forays into singing (lip syncing) and acting (sync acting).

Posted at 11:52AM on Feb 17th 2008 by SuperStarSteve

21. It is painful to watch her try to dance. The scene in the over sized champagne glass was sad, she couldn't even figure out how to get the zipper down on her outfit.

Posted at 11:46AM on Feb 17th 2008 by FlBiker

22. Friggin drunkin whore - aren't the parents embarassed about this train wreck?

Posted at 8:12PM on Feb 20th 2008 by Chris

23. Why is she wearing panties? Oh, right I forgot, she is turning her life around now.

Posted at 11:50AM on Feb 17th 2008 by OooooNooo!

24. The Woman of the Year Award from Harvard’s Lampoon

When TMZ recently caught Hilton at the airport before she boarded her flight to Boston to accept the Woman of the Year Award from Harvard’s Lampoon, she had this haughty, triumphant smirk on her face as she told Harvey’s reporter about the award. Well, here’s the real scoop behind that award:

According to Harvard’s prestigious publication, “The Harvard Crimson,” Lampoon initially called their award, “The Hastiest Pudding Award” as a jab at the famous and prestigious “Hasty Pudding Award” given out by Harvard’s Hasty Pudding Theatricals. When the confusion first erupted about Hilton receiving the Hasty Pudding Award, the reaction was pretty bad: Harvard’s Hasty Pudding Theatricals received furious e-mails from alumni, patrons, etc., protesting the award going to Hilton. The Lampoon was also in danger of a copyright infringement lawsuit from the Pudding for initially referring to the award as “The Hastiest Pudding Award.” The Lampoon had no choice but to drop that title, and refer to this joke award as Lampoon’s Woman of the Year.

Hilton was not the Lampoon’s first choice; actually, her name was pretty far down the list, but their favored choices all declined to accept the award.

Here’s the link to Crimson’s story: http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=521621

Posted at 11:54AM on Feb 17th 2008 by Genna

25. Where's her mother?

Posted at 11:57AM on Feb 17th 2008 by maureen

26. I'd do her.

Posted at 12:02PM on Feb 17th 2008 by Hillary Clinton

27. She can't DANCE she looks like a TRAMP and how many Bday parties is she going to have!?!?! PATHETIC!!!

Posted at 12:02PM on Feb 17th 2008 by Pdiddy

28. Paris is the next one who will have a meltdown and be sent to the loony bin. She s deserves it.

Posted at 12:07PM on Feb 17th 2008 by tired of this

29. You are all Jealous...who cares. Anyone who does, is just jealous that they might have missed out on something in their lives. Grow up and stop the hate. If Paris wants to stripe she can stripe, and by the way here parents are I am sure very proud of her, mistakes and all.

Posted at 12:07PM on Feb 17th 2008 by I

30. Bruce....this is tooooo bizarre!! I sent you an email...maybe it went to your spam folder or deleted.

Posted at 2:06PM on Feb 17th 2008 by Hillary Clinton