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Why We're Not Buying It

Let Us Count the Ways

4/4/2008 5:59 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

0404_beyonce_jayz_tmz-11. Jay-Z and Beyonce allegedly applied for a marriage license in Scarsdale, NY on April 1st - uh, April Fool's Day! And in Scarsdale??

2. Jay-Z is playing a concert in North Carolina on Saturday - that doesn't leave very much time for a honeymoon.

3. Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams (those other two from Destiny's Child) posted a silly YouTube video, giggling and declaring, "we're...out of town...at an undisclosed location." Hee hee. How very subtle.

4. Details of the grand wedding have emerged onto the Internet and include tidbits such as:
Beyonce's dressing room is set up in a gym. A gym!? Every bride's dream!

A fridge has been stocked with Jay-Z's favorite champagne. Did the housekeeper leak this? What about those non-disclosure agreements those people sign?

5. They picked Jay-Z's Manhattan apartment for their wedding locale. Why not just set up in the middle of Times Square?

6. People magazine posted photos of cheapy looking flowers and candelabras being delivered to Jay-Z's pad. There's no way Beyonce would allow cheap flowers at her wedding. Not to mention what her mom and dad would do.

7. Jay-Z just signed a $150 million deal with Live Nation. That sounds like a great reason to throw a party. And probably the real reason all this commotion is going down today.

8. The entire gossip blogosphere has gone crazy with wedding fever - everyone but E! that is. They haven't written anything about the wedding fiasco. Interesting, being that E! airs Ashton Kutcher's lame punking the paps show. We're just sayin'... 

49 COMMENTS

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1.

b    

WOW!! who cares. Hot chicks marry but ugly guys for their money everyday.

2338 days ago
2.

Drea    

It's PopFiction Folks!!!

2338 days ago
3.

moe    

SECOND

2338 days ago
4.

J    

I believe it's true.

2338 days ago
5.

mel    

cheap flowers....at least they will look like beyonce!

2338 days ago
6.

LoJ    

First third............

2338 days ago
7.

LoJ    

Did that go through?

2338 days ago
8.

Dick Lick    

THESE PEOPLE ARE MORONS!

2338 days ago
9.

cindy    

THIS IS THE CUTES COUPLE OUT THEIR!

2338 days ago
10.

LOL    

NO ONE... and I mean NO ONE cares about The Hip Hop Version of Ike & Tina! They're pretty tired right about now!

2338 days ago
11.

juesaye    

i really don't think it's true, but honestly if it is...... i just want to see beyonce's dress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2338 days ago
12.

Wb    

Prolly Ashton Kutchers lame show

2338 days ago
13.

Bill NM    

If you total the IQ for both of them, it might get to room temperature... on a cool day.

2338 days ago
14.

Sillyme    

They will be just as blessed as Whitney and her bobby boo! Hah

2338 days ago
15.

christine    

Beyonce could do so much better than nasty old Jay. He has to be one of the most ugly rappers there are along side Lil' Wayne, birdman, Baby, Lloyd, Fitty Cent and most of the east coast rappers. Anyway, who fricken cares?????

2338 days ago
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