Here's how not to win a lawsuit against a celebrity: Scribble the lawsuit in crazazy handwriting, then when asked what "relief" you want, ask for, um, the documents related to the case -- but no money.
That's exactly what James D. Jenkins, who goes by the nom de freak Millennium Child, did in Colorado District Court: He claims that Snoop Dogg stole his "music strings" -- we think he means string loops -- for his song "Sensual Seduction." James also writes, and we quote, "I had hand Ice Cube manager 1 tape ... From there I don't know how Calvin Broadus [Snoop's real name] got a hold of it. The tape."
We asked Mr. Jenkins for a digital copy of his loops. He said they're on cassette tape. (Of course they are.) The Doggfather's folks haven't returned a call for comment.