1. He looks constipated. DUI's do that to a person.

Posted at 7:26PM on Apr 9th 2008 by Kelli

2. He changed his name from Thomas Elliott to Thomas JANE?? He was probably drunk then, too!

Posted at 7:30PM on Apr 9th 2008 by MissCarol

3. Perez Hilton Doesn’t Enjoy Being Treated Like He’s on PerezHilton.com
post info
By Simon Scowl
Categories: Entertainment and Writers
The Human Landfill is going back to court. And this time… it’s personal!

According to The Smoking Gun, Hilton, AKA Mario Lavandeira, is suing fellow blogger Jonathan Jaxson, AKA Jonathan Lewandowski, for claiming the plus-sized pap-sucker cajoled, wheedled, and outright begged Jaxson to send… oh, let’s just call them solo sex videos. This was in exchange for promised career help from Hilton that never, er… came.

But that’s not even the best part!

Lavandeira, 30, charges that these claims are false, adding that Lewandowski has also invaded his privacy by posting his cell phone number online.

That’s right: He invaded Perez Hilton’s privacy. He invaded the privacy of the guy who’s made a career of outing gay celebrities and sticking his bloated face in front of any red-carpet camera that doesn’t crack at the sight of him. Deceiverrific!

Oh, and:

In his complaint… Lavandeira contends that, as a result of the 24-year-old Lewandowski’s actions, he has “suffered loss of his reputation, shame and mortification” and “mental anguish.”

The only way Perez Hilton’s reputation could possibly suffer would be if he took classes in English, drawing, and/or Pilates. As for the shame, mortification, and mental anguish, he might try going around the house and covering up all the mirrors.

Get it? He’s fat.

Posted at 7:31PM on Apr 9th 2008 by HAS KARMA FINALLY KNOCKED ON PEREZ'S DOOR ??

4. #3, that is funny, thanks.

Posted at 7:41PM on Apr 9th 2008 by Kelli

5. Thomas WHO? he's a celebrity in what part of the world?

Posted at 8:27PM on Apr 9th 2008 by moveover00

6. Kern County huh? Wth was he doing there? Only meth users live in Kern County!

Posted at 9:04PM on Apr 9th 2008 by I'm better than you

7. To Moveover00

He is best known as playing the title role in the "Punisher"

Actors change there names all the time in Hollywood to sound unique or Thomas Elliot may of already been an actor's name so he decided to change it

Posted at 9:07PM on Apr 9th 2008 by Dragon77Lady

8. Wonder what kind of late model Maserati it was?

Posted at 9:08PM on Apr 9th 2008 by jimmy

9. Since when is it amusing to make fun of a man with an obvious alcohol problem?

Posted at 9:42PM on Apr 9th 2008 by Webster

10. I could care less if he has an alcohol problem. Get a taxi, walk, drink at home, or call a friend. Don't drink and drive, and if you do expect no sympathy.

Posted at 9:54PM on Apr 9th 2008 by Just did the dishes.

11. Why is it everytime some idiot gets a dui someone immediately says the GUILTY party should
not be mocked because they suffer from "an alchohol problem". I understand there are alchoholics
in the world, but what percent of those arrested for dui are what would really be called alcholholics
and not just idiots who were drinking and driving?

Posted at 10:16PM on Apr 9th 2008 by Dave

12. To I'm better than you

Not everyone who lives in Kern County is a meth user! Never did the stuff, never wanted to do the stuff. He was probably looking for people that would be impressed by his car. But really who cares where he was picked up. At least he was picked up before he ended up like Brandy, a murderer.

Posted at 10:16PM on Apr 9th 2008 by Use to live in Kern County

13. C'mon you all know the words. My Maserati does 185 I lost my license now I dont drive

Posted at 10:23PM on Apr 9th 2008 by jimmy

14. god tmz you queers have sucked balls for 2 days straight now. your mouths must be numb.

Posted at 10:27PM on Apr 9th 2008 by me

15. 14. "I Can't Drive 55?"

Posted at 10:31PM on Apr 9th 2008 by Kelli