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Thomas Jane to Judge: Don't Punish Me!

4/9/2008 8:14 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Thomas Jane, the latest driving-challenged celeb to be hit with a DUI, has pleaded not guilty to all charges in a Kern County, Calif. courtroom.

"The Punisher" star's lawyer was in court today defending Jane against charges of DUI and driving with a suspended license.

The CHP pulled over Mr. Patricia Arquette, whose real name is Thomas Elliott, last month after they say he was hauling ass on the freeway in a late-model Maserati. Cops say he flunked several field sobriety tests.

His next court date is set for May 19th.

33 COMMENTS

No Avatar
1.

Kelli    

He looks constipated. DUI's do that to a person.

2387 days ago
2.

MissCarol    

He changed his name from Thomas Elliott to Thomas JANE?? He was probably drunk then, too!

2387 days ago
3.

Once a rethuglican , ALWAYS a rethuglican    

Perez Hilton Doesn’t Enjoy Being Treated Like He’s on PerezHilton.com
post info
By Simon Scowl
Categories: Entertainment and Writers
The Human Landfill is going back to court. And this time… it’s personal!

According to The Smoking Gun, Hilton, AKA Mario Lavandeira, is suing fellow blogger Jonathan Jaxson, AKA Jonathan Lewandowski, for claiming the plus-sized pap-sucker cajoled, wheedled, and outright begged Jaxson to send… oh, let’s just call them solo sex videos. This was in exchange for promised career help from Hilton that never, er… came.

But that’s not even the best part!

Lavandeira, 30, charges that these claims are false, adding that Lewandowski has also invaded his privacy by posting his cell phone number online.

That’s right: He invaded Perez Hilton’s privacy. He invaded the privacy of the guy who’s made a career of outing gay celebrities and sticking his bloated face in front of any red-carpet camera that doesn’t crack at the sight of him. Deceiverrific!

Oh, and:

In his complaint… Lavandeira contends that, as a result of the 24-year-old Lewandowski’s actions, he has “suffered loss of his reputation, shame and mortification” and “mental anguish.”

The only way Perez Hilton’s reputation could possibly suffer would be if he took classes in English, drawing, and/or Pilates. As for the shame, mortification, and mental anguish, he might try going around the house and covering up all the mirrors.

Get it? He’s fat.

2387 days ago
4.

Kelli    

#3, that is funny, thanks.

2387 days ago
5.

moveover    

Thomas WHO? he's a celebrity in what part of the world?

2387 days ago
6.

I'm better than you    

Kern County huh? Wth was he doing there? Only meth users live in Kern County!

2387 days ago
7.

dragon77lady    

To Moveover00

He is best known as playing the title role in the "Punisher"

Actors change there names all the time in Hollywood to sound unique or Thomas Elliot may of already been an actor's name so he decided to change it

2387 days ago
8.

jimmy    

Wonder what kind of late model Maserati it was?

2387 days ago
9.

Webster    

Since when is it amusing to make fun of a man with an obvious alcohol problem?

2387 days ago
10.

Kelli    

I could care less if he has an alcohol problem. Get a taxi, walk, drink at home, or call a friend. Don't drink and drive, and if you do expect no sympathy.

2387 days ago
11.

Dave    

Why is it everytime some idiot gets a dui someone immediately says the GUILTY party should
not be mocked because they suffer from "an alchohol problem". I understand there are alchoholics
in the world, but what percent of those arrested for dui are what would really be called alcholholics
and not just idiots who were drinking and driving?

2387 days ago
12.

epiphany    

To I'm better than you

Not everyone who lives in Kern County is a meth user! Never did the stuff, never wanted to do the stuff. He was probably looking for people that would be impressed by his car. But really who cares where he was picked up. At least he was picked up before he ended up like Brandy, a murderer.

2387 days ago
13.

jimmy    

C'mon you all know the words. My Maserati does 185 I lost my license now I dont drive

2387 days ago
14.

me    

god tmz you queers have sucked balls for 2 days straight now. your mouths must be numb.

2387 days ago
15.

Kelli    

14. "I Can't Drive 55?"

2387 days ago
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