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Von A-Hole's Fornication Examination

4/10/2008 7:12 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

If you missed our LIVE feed, check out the insane highlights from today's testimony, including how the Ivy-eating, Rolls Royce-driving A-Hole is totally broke, and the courtroom fireworks that erupt when he's asked who was caring for sick wife Zsa Zsa while he was out "fornicating with Anna Nicole Smith?" Good stuff!


Here's a log of today's proceedings...

UPDATE 2:12 PM PT:
AND THAT'S A WRAP, FOLKS! And now we wait. In a totally anti-climactic move, we're told the judge is going to mail a verdict out to the parties. LAME!

UPDATE 2:03 PM PT:
Pants on feuer, pants on feuer -- Edward Lee is trying to paint Smeten as a big fat ly-ah!

UPDATE 1:56 PM PT: Ahole's lawyer is pooh-poohing Smeten's claim about suffering from high blood pressure, comparing it to the same reaction you'd get from playing b-ball.

UPDATE 1:50 PM PT: Edward Lee tells the judge that Dirk Smeten "staged" the incident.

UPDATE 1:42 PM PT:
Ok -- now we get Ahole's guy's summation -- we're hoping for gloves, table-pounding, some rhyming at least!!!

UPDATE 1:39 PM PT: Smeten wants $117K in compensatory damages, a multiple of seven times his medical bills -- interesting math -- and $20K in punitives -- and that's all for his lawyer.

UPDATE 1:37 PT:
Pap's lawyer calls VAH's attack "sudden, unprovoked, and vicious" and claims that he threatened to kill Smeten -- Ahole looks deeply unimpressed so far.

UPDATE 1:35 PM PT:
Here comes the pap lawyer's big closing ...

UPDATE 1:30 PM PT:
Empty that colostomy bag, get your Oreos ready -- the Wackdaddy Currently Known as Prince is in his seat, and we're just waiting for the judge to start.

UPDATE 11:12 AM PT:
Time for a lil' wienerschnitzel, folks -- lunch break until 1:30 PST.

UPDATE 11:02 AM PT:
DAY-UM!!!!!! The pap's lawyer just asked, "Who was taking care of Zsa Zsa while you were fornicating with Anna Nicole Smith?" and just got a smackdown from the judge for the q! OMG OMG!

UPDATE 10:54 AM PT:
ZSA-ZSA IS VAH'S BANK! He says he has no assets or income except the $200 in his wallet, which he actually pulls out -- mein gott, oh so sad, and admits that it's "shopping money for the household."

UPDATE 10:44 AM PT:
Ahole says what set him off was that the photog called Zsa Zsa scheintot -- which is a expression for "almost dead," says TMZ's German.

UPDATE 10:40 AM PT:
How do you say "totally deluded" in German, again? Ahole claims that his picture gets sent to the "most powerful papers in Europe."

Click to view!UPDATE 10:33 AM PT:
Von D-bag just apologized for getting Z-Z's age wrong yesterday -- she was 89 at the time of the alleged incident, not 98, and she's 91 now.

UPDATE 10:32 AM PT:
VAH IS BACK for more direct questioning from his lawyer! Look out!

UPDATE 10:13 AM PT: The plaintiff's lawyer just finished with the doc, and VAH's lawyer then asked about how strong Ahole was. We're thinkin' -- tight muscles. Breaktime -- back in 15.

UPDATE 10:11 AM PT:
Yahtzee! The direct on the doc is done -- but VAH is perilously close to naptime. Achtung!

UPDATE 9:55 AM PT:
VAH is sporting a jaunty orange yellow-and-red pocket square today, as in, "Orange you tired of all this medical-bill blahdy-blah already?" Let Ahole rip!

UPDATE 9:46 AM PT:
Dr. McNamee says the pap's neck injuries are bo-gus and couldn't have been caused by VAH, based on the video and the medical records.

Click to view!UPDATE 9:41 AM PT: Whoaaaa doc -- the judge wants him to slow his fast-talkin' down ... he's racing like that guy from the '80s FedEx ad. Nice old-school reference, Your Honor.

UPDATE 9:38 AM PT: The doctor is questioning how the photog could've gotten a lip laceration because it didn't look like he was being hit on the video he looked at.

UPDATE 9:36 AM PT:
Doc says a 3-year-old pushing on a person and a 280-pound person pushing on a person would have different impacts. Trenchant medical analysis.

UPDATE 9:35 AM PT:
The doctor is getting paid 500 bucks per hour for his medical expert witness work -- and he says he's worked about two hours.

UPDATE 9:30 AM PT: The defense's expert witness is Dr. Kevin McNamee, a doctor of chiropractic and a licensed acupuncturist.

UPDATE 9:25 AM PT: Guten morgen! The judge is in place, Ahole is on his throne, and we're ready to roll.
69 COMMENTS

No Avatar
31.

Yada, Yada, Yada    

How boring and childish. This seems to be a personal vendetta for TMZ. We get your point, you don't like the old guy, now move on....

2324 days ago
32.

Standards are badly needed.    

I don't like the need to humiliate a senior citizen. Most seniors his age don't make any money as they're retired and on a pension or two. Anyhow, if he was good enough for Zsa Zsa, then he's OK to be there. Didn't she get HER money from guys she married? It's simply trickling down, and having looked after a senior for over 10 years for free, I'm here to tell you that he earns whatever he gets.

Oh, and to San Jose Sharks fans - see you in the Shark tank tonight. Sharks are my favorite snack, but are tough and gritty, and no matter who takes it, it's gauranteed great hockey. All of my East Coast friends are watching THIS consistently great match up.

2324 days ago
33.

Ms_Tell_It_Like_It_Is    

2 hours and 15 minutes for lunch after only 45 minutes of testimony (REAL WORK) which came right after a 15 minute break after another 45 minutes of testimony. Basically, from 9:30 to 1:30, in 4 hours, they only WORKED 1-1/2 hours. Tax dollars at work? Nope, at break for almost 2/3 of the time. Bet they dont get much more than 1-1/2 hours in this afternoon, IF ANY AT ALL..

I'm sure a good percentage of that $200 "household expenses money" will go to the Fake Prince's lunch and whatever. I think its great and really funny that there may be no funds for the intrusive, whimpy pap to steal from, if he should win a cent!

Train wreck city, all the way around!

2324 days ago
34.

geesh    

AMY FISHER walked out of the Howard Stern show today.

As for Zsa Zsa's Prince ... he's getting a bad rap! She married a flashy, handsome, younger man 21 years ago and I'm sure she was very high maintenance even before she got old and feeble . He must be taking good care of her since she lets him out to play and spend money like he does. Hopefully, he's in her will.

2324 days ago
35.

just wondering    

....u gotta love the ledenhosen dance!!!...I needed that laugh !!....anyways, how humiliating to be sitting on that stand answering such personal questions !!..this outta have been dismissed before it got started...and to know the jails r loaded with real criminals awaiting trials and crt time is wasted on this, oh well...he is in good physical shape for his age, guess he burns his booze calories off some how!! haha

2324 days ago
36.

anthonysdreamgirl**    

come on, tmz, does this have to be the first story all day long??

2324 days ago
37.

jim    

This web site is so boring with out any news from britney spears .

2324 days ago
38.

Karen    

What, is he stealing Zsa Zsa's thunder trying to slap somebody? He isn't a 'prince' anyway he bought his 'title'. And in America what do we care about titles, anyway? It's fame here not titles - which must be why he keeps trying to get into the spotlight.

REALLY mean to publicly name-call your wife. Since it's her money he would be wise to shut up.

2324 days ago
39.

Whatever    

Seriously, who gives a flying f**k? So a fossil is on trial for beating down a dude who should have been able to defend himself against a toddler. TMZ is sinking to all-time boring depths with this crap. Thanks for the snore, Harvey.

2324 days ago
40.

Karen    

Flame Fan - trust me, with their money, HE isn't caretaking Zsa Zsa. I'm sure they have nurses and servants on tap.

He's not exactly a prince charming so he shouldn't insult other people's looks. Zsa Zsa shouldn't have to look like a model any more. But, in my opinion she still is beautiful. But if she is in a wheelchair and up in years, how is she supposed to spend all day in the gym? He shouldn't expect his wife to have to keep up with 20 yr olds.

It's disgusting for a man to name-call his wife. If you love her, you don't do that. He's showing his lack of class. But then, he runs everyone down. The only thing that should be run down is his motor mouth.

2324 days ago
41.

Cmj87    

I am convinced that Frederic will win this case most definitely. After all he did not "assault" that slimey twit. He was protecting his invalid wife from being photographed, recorded etc.etc. At one time in her life Zsa Zsa was the life of the party loved the publicity but since her accident in 2002 that left her an invalid she now just wants to be remembered as she was not for her current state of mind. Hence why when Frederic is by himself he loves the attention but when he takes Zsa Zsa out he despises it because Zsa Zsa does not want it. I don't agree with all that he does. But i think that he does love Zsa Zsa and respects her wishes.

2324 days ago
42.

Jane    

Damn....I was a juror on a MURDER trail that didn't take this long....what the hell is the problem? Are they SERIOUSLY wasting THREE days on this crap???

2324 days ago
43.

pissed!!    

thank you chris johnson finally someone with some damn common sense!!!

2324 days ago
44.

Badger    

Sooooooooooo, if A-Hole is so broke, where did he get the money to pay for the hooker that stripped him and handcuffed him in his car a year or so ago??!! And TMZ, how come YOU didn't repost that picture again????? Ya'll are slippin'!!!!!! Too bad plaintiff's attorney didn't ask him that question either!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2324 days ago
45.

Michelle    

No one cares about this guy - find more interestng stuff

2324 days ago
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