Tom Cruise Is the Devil?
Besides boasting about what a great actor he thinks he is, Tom Cruise may be trying to tell us something else with the launch of his official website -- he's Satan! Scientolo-what?!
Like an endless masturbation session, Tom's new official site features an interminable video with scenes from his films of the last 25 years -- minus the forgettable 1983 teen sex comedy "Losin' It" -- set to "Also sprach Zarathustra" the devilish themed song from "2001: A Space Odyssey" and the Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil." Perhaps Lucifer was a fan of "Dianetics," too.
Also missing from the site, Tom's couch jumping incident, the Matt Lauer interview and that Scientolocrazy video.