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Lets Get This Party Started
R. Kelly -- Mole Will Keep Me Outta the Hole

Posted May 21st 2008 6:15AM by TMZ Staff

Could a skin doc end up saving R. Kelly's hide? Looks like it, since his lawyers are basing pretty much his entire defense on one mole – the dark, irregularly-bordered kind.

The pisstastic singer's trial finally began yesterday, and openings were just as lurid as the tape at its center. The defense claims that the guy in the video doesn't have a mole, but Kelly does. Maybe the most shocking moment came when the defense claimed that the woman in the tape was a prostitute: "[The alleged victim is sweet and nice," said Kelly's lawyer. "The woman in this tape is a prostitute."

Among other interesting sexual curiosities, the girl calls the man in the vid "daddy" and he apparently pays her at the end.

Jess Didn't Tell Her Bro About Nups


Jessica Alba got hitched yesterday to Cash Warren, but she apparently forgot to tell her own bro.

"My sister!? I'm going to have to call her!" said Josh Alba when Us called him to ask about the good news. Awkward. Jess and Cash, reports People, went to the Beverly Hills courthouse and did the deed in the building's ceremony room. They got their license and then waited for 40 minutes to make it legal.

Josh wasn't exactly thrilled to hear the news. When asked about Warren's prospects as a husband, he replied, tepidly, "Well, he's my brother-in-law now!"

Brit's Dad Gets $10K Back Pay for Being ... Dad


Britney Spears' dad Jamie has quit being a cook and is getting $10K per month for looking after the Britwreck, according to new court papers.

And because he had to give up his former job as a private chef, he's entitled to $10,000 in back pay to cover the first month of his co-conservatorship of her estate. "He has been unable to continue to his prior employment and he has lost his source of income which he needs to pay his living expenses," say the docs.

Party Favors: Clint Sorry for Dirty Hillary ... Rev. Al Calls Nas' Non-"N*****" Record "Partial Victory" ... Is Heath Coming Back to Brooklyn?


Clint Eastwood tells Politico that he actually has sympathy for Hillary Clinton, because everyone is haranguing her to get out of the race. "I watch Clinton and feel kind of sorry for her ... She's showing her strength by hanging in there." ... Reverend Al Sharpton tells Rush & Molloy that Nas' decision to not title his new album "N*****" is "a partial victory" and that he is partially responsible: "That would not have happened if we hadn't protested." ... A famous medium, James Van Praagh tells CYInterview.com that Heath Ledger's ghost has been to late ex Michelle Williams' apartment in Brooklyn, and that she was awakened by furniture moving. Just askin': Why are ghosts always moving furniture around?

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16. Why do ghosts move furniture around. Answer is easy here "because that's how they get their kicks"

Sheesh

Posted at 9:43AM on May 21st 2008 by Dot Spotless

17. Did you know: the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) in 1993, its proponents “Clinton's’” claimed that it would create jobs and raise incomes in the United States because of increased exports? Now they like to boast that 794,174 new jobs are a result of the trade agreement.

It’s a clear example of a half-truth that's worse than a lie. A study by the Economic Policy Institute shows that the NAFTA agreement is directly responsible for the loss of 1,673,454+ U.S. jobs, meaning that the net effect of imports and exports results in 879,280 less jobs in the United States.

Posted at 10:02AM on May 21st 2008 by Speaking of the Democrates

18. Southafrica, way to make an assumption - I'm not American but if I were I'd have enough sense to know when it's raining vs. someone pissing on my leg.

Posted at 11:39AM on May 21st 2008 by aSiF

19. Brit's dad:
$120,000 per year is NOT A BIG PAYDAY for being the conservator of
someone who is this high maintenance. That's actually a little low.

Posted at 11:50AM on May 21st 2008 by Bombast

20. R KELLY i hope you get whats coming to you, your one nasty person, i can't call you a man, a man wouldn't do something like this, i hope someone pees on you in jail, i bet you won't think thats funny when its you, i hope the judge throws the book at you, nasty bastard

Posted at 11:51AM on May 21st 2008 by pattie

21. Okay, I'll play devils advocate. If' you've made such a mess of your life that you are found incompetent, lose your children (a mother mind you), there are rumors of drugs, alcohol, shacking up with a married paparazzi, continually wrecking your car, running over people, not making your court appts, not showing up for drug tests, talking like a crazy person, you need someone to get you back on the straight and narrow. Fixing Britney is a FULL TIME JOB! All her "yes" people probably cost her more than $10,000 a month and they only let her get worse, not to mention what all the attorney fees are.

Give Brit's dad a break. Whatever he's doing, she seems better now than she was.

Posted at 12:00PM on May 21st 2008 by jen

22. Brits dad: $10,000 a month. Give me a break! I was allowed from the court $83.33 a month being a conservator for my father. I had many legal issues and health care responsiblities to deal with daily.

Posted at 3:52PM on May 21st 2008 by dani

23. R kelly is a pervert who i hope gets what he deserves.He married Aaliyah when she was 14 and he was in his mid twenties.Your money bought 6 yrs so far,but hopefully you're in prison this ime next year.PERVERT!!!

Posted at 4:48PM on May 21st 2008 by mikey

24. I think that medium is full of it. Heath may be watching over his daughter but he wouldn't want to scare her. I think that, if ghosts moved furniture around, it would be because that's one of the few ways they can make their presence known. There are too many reasons for strange noises but a piece of furniture actually being moved is harder to explain away.

dani, sorry about your dad. Jamie Spears has a lot to do, watching over the estate as well as keeping track of Brit's movements and actions. Also courts take into account the size of the estate when awarding fees for conservatorship. I doubt your dad's estate is as large as Brit's.

Go Sox

Posted at 8:59AM on May 22nd 2008 by Baseball Junkie

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