Madonna: It's Kabbalah in the Family

1. all these hollywood hipsters have taken on these wacky made up religions, or offshoots of other religions and made the "churches" and/or "temples" tons of money in the process.


so i'm gonna mesh up 2 of their religions and try to get in on some of that green. I think it'll be called "kabbalaholigy". the theme of the church is pretty simple and pretty much parallels the existing hollywood churches.

1) be half ass jewish 2) worship an alien 3) gimme all your money!
i'll be a little more lax when it comes to the belief system than those other guys though. you'll only have to stay true to one of the three rules...#3! all that other stuff is just there so you can get the attention from the media that you crave, whilst not jepordizing any relationship(s) with a real god, or gods.


you in?!?!? =P

Posted at 6:17PM on Jul 12th 2008 by matt

2. Don't most people go to temple or church just to be seen?
And to see who else is there?
Cmon, admit it!
fake goody goodies.

Posted at 6:31PM on Jul 12th 2008 by rachel

3. This just goes to show you that celebrity IQ's have really dropped in the last few years. Kabbalah my ass!!!

Posted at 6:33PM on Jul 12th 2008 by whatthefrig

4. rachel,
i'm not sure if thats true, or not, but if it is please shhhh! you're gonna ruin kabbalaholigy for me and i will never get these celebs money!!

Posted at 6:55PM on Jul 12th 2008 by matt

5. it's NOT madonna who's responsible for the photo op... but tmz and the paps. it always amazes me how tmz twists facts.

Posted at 7:24PM on Jul 12th 2008 by me

6. look, me. tmz and the paps are part of life now. you know that, i know that and more than anyone, the celebs know that. if she didn't want photos she could have played kabbalah at home =P

Posted at 7:55PM on Jul 12th 2008 by shadup

7. I just don't care about her anymore. If she was true to her family or whatever religion she is, she should have sent A-Rod packing back to his family instead of stalking her. It just goes to show that that people like that care about one thing and that's themselves and money. She was just trying to get whatever money from him while doing or servicing him in return.

People should not envy money and think its going to save you because it doesn't, it only make people more evil.

Posted at 8:37PM on Jul 12th 2008 by Whatever

8. Ewwwww. The picture of Madonna shows a BAD WEAVE.. Ugh. And with all the money she has, you would think she could afford a GOOD ONE. Just saying. How does she sleep with herself (just a figure of speech), knowing she has ruined a marriage and kept 2 children from their dad????

Posted at 9:35PM on Jul 12th 2008 by Jayne

9. How many goats were sacrificed for Madonna's entrails reading?

Posted at 9:44PM on Jul 12th 2008 by brahman

10. I hope that Madonna realizes that this is serious stuff... The Kabbalah, or Jewish mysticism, is not for everyone. Not everyone returns from "the garden," unscathed... Four will go in, one will return enlightned, one not, another will be injured in some way and the fourth never return to life. Why she is even ineterested in such an obscure and potentially dangerous adventure, is beyond me. I think that 500 mics. of LSD would be a far safer thing, if all she wants is a thrill. This is messing with things which are beyond matter, something a "material girl" has no businees fooling around with. May her trip to "the garden" be short and her return to life be sure... May God watch over this child.

Posted at 10:08PM on Jul 12th 2008 by Mike Sanders

11. brahman, i'm not sure what you mean by entrails, but i'd say you'd have to have atleast 25 goats killed to get to something that crazy sounding. oh, and 5 goats.. just sayin', what ever you're talking about sounds heavy, so lots and lots of goats!!

Posted at 10:20PM on Jul 12th 2008 by matt

12. Eff Madonna for being the leader in establishing porn as a legitimate way to perform pop music on stage for millions of children. She must be rotting from the inside out, that's all I have to say.

Posted at 11:37PM on Jul 12th 2008 by Eff

13. life just isn't right! jewish philosophical scholars have worked on the kabbalah for..umm, since before jesus! and maddona sings "like a virgin" and gets a degree from some dude! it's just not right! ha

Posted at 11:42PM on Jul 12th 2008 by matitayahooooooooo

14. scorn..
but not yet before this man puts his ring in that bell! ha

Posted at 12:47AM on Jul 13th 2008 by matt

15. 10. Ewwwww. The picture of Madonna shows a BAD WEAVE.. Ugh. And with all the money she has, you would think she could afford a GOOD ONE. Just saying. How does she sleep with herself (just a figure of speech), knowing she has ruined a marriage and kept 2 children from their dad????

Posted at 9:35PM on Jul 12th 2008 by Jayne
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Well, At least we now know where Brittney gets it from.

Posted at 1:45AM on Jul 13th 2008 by Captain Obvious