Celebrity Justice
Barkley: All I Really Wanted Was Oral Sex

This may be the very best police report of 2008. When Charles Barkley was busted in Arizona early NYE morning for DUI, he told cops he ran a stop sign because he was in a hurry to get some oral sex.

According to the officer who wrote the report, "He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat."

The officer continues: "He asked me to admit that she was 'hot.' He asked me, 'You want the truth?' When I told him I did he said, 'I was gonna drive around the corner and get a b**w job. He then explained that she had given him a 'b**w job' one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life."

The report says when Barkley was taken to the station, he told one of the employees, "I'll tattoo my name on your ass" if he helped "get him out of the DUI." According to the report, "He laughed and then quickly corrected himself and said, 'I'll tattoo your name on my ass' and then laughed again."

The report also says officers "found a handgun in the vehicle" which was immediately impounded. The report doesn't say if the handgun was legal or not, and the only thing that we know for sure was loaded...

Reader Comments

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61. That picture looks like he want's to give him self head.

Posted at 2:57AM on Jan 1st 2009 by rick

62. This has to be the funniest celebrity news of the year. Yeah, he shouldn't have been drinking and driving. Yeah, pickin up hookers for BJ's is a little sleazy, but you gotta hand it to the guy. He's funny! This probably ruins his chances at being Alabama's next Governor, but then, this is Alabama, and God knows we've had sleazier people in office here!

Posted at 2:38AM on Jan 1st 2009 by Jay Croce

63. Oh well. He can forget about trying to become the Governor of Alabama.

Posted at 3:38AM on Jan 1st 2009 by p1tey1

64. 71. #40 (he's stupid but a fairly nice dude ) you must rent, that's a lousy area in Scottsdale. Cling on!

Posted at 2:33AM on Jan 1st 2009 by Maureen
-------------
Fun night out, perhaps a scary year ahead for some. Good luck out there (to most of you)!
And to the dumb ho Maureen, I rented a house to go to Scottsdale Culinary Institute! Now I'm a sous chef at a very nice restaurant and own a cool house outright in the Arcadia district, so suck it you evil witch!

Posted at 4:41AM on Jan 1st 2009 by He's stupid, but a fairly nice dude!

65. I've run into Charles Barkley a few times over the years in Scottsdale and find him to be a pretty cool guy. He is brutally honest. Ran into him playing cowboy once at Rockin Rodeo (Tempe) with two hot women (neither were his wife). Run into him at Highlighters a couple times (Use to be a very upscale strip club now just average). Run into Terrel Davis (NFL Super Bowl MVP) there once to. The few times I've talked to Chuck he was very funny telling jokes. He has said he is no role model and sure doesn't act like one.

DUI laws here in Scottsdale/Phx are very strict (think the toughest in the US) so he won't be having any fun though doubt he will learn from it as he is just too much of a party animal/socialite. They treat people worse than animals at the desert tent city jails. Doubt he will be treated any different when he gets sent there. The state seems to be slowly turning into some sort of Nazi Police state. Heck even our freeways have photoradar on them (only place in the country with them on the freeways). Bet in 10 years what is considered a minor offense today will be a major felony or death sentence the rate the laws keep getting tougher here. So he better not get a DUI 10 years from now hehe.

Posted at 4:07AM on Jan 2nd 2009 by AZCowboy

66. OH Good one Charles...Next time don't count on the ole boys club to keep your real intentions quiet. BJ's around the corner.. Hey can't you afford a hotel? Why would you ever tell the cops that? I guess you're just trying to keep up with Eddie Murphy and Hugh Grant ..Thanks for the New Year's laugh...at least you told the truth. Up until now i thought you just ran a stop sign. Love to be a fly on the wall when your wife hears this one..or are you begging them to keep you in the crowbar hotel? On the upside..you can still run for public office...at least the public knows up front what they's be voting for! You'll fit right in...

Posted at 12:34PM on Jan 1st 2009 by lindylu56

67. If this is all true, say good bye to your TNT contract, say goodbye to any possible chance of a political career. Not that he ever had a chance to be honest.

Posted at 7:45AM on Jan 1st 2009 by parkside701

68. I'd be in a hurry for the best dome of my life round 2 as well!!!!! :)

Posted at 7:12AM on Jan 1st 2009 by stickalot

69. It doesnt matter if the gun is legal (?) or not - Barfley is a CEE-LE-BRI-TEEE. No jail for you.

Posted at 7:56AM on Jan 1st 2009 by Alpha Omega

70. Barkley has always been known as a troubled guy...big mouth. He was the same way on the courts. He could have been a better player if not for his big mouth. He could have been a better roll-model for young impressionable kids, but, out came the big stupid mouth. Barkley will always be a trouble maker. He must be a sad, lonely guy to be this way.

Barkley, if you're reading this; GET A LIFE!

Posted at 7:43AM on Jan 1st 2009 by Know it all

71. THIS IS ONE LOW-CLASS MULYON!!!

Posted at 10:04AM on Jan 1st 2009 by MAggot

72. Just goes to show all the money in the world can't buy you an ounce of class. What a pig you're Charles - class and waistline to boot.

Posted at 10:25AM on Jan 1st 2009 by Illinois person

73. ACTUALLY , PROSTITUTES ARE REAL HEROS IN THIS WORLD , THEY SAVED A LOT OF WOMEN BECAME VICTIMS OF RAPE BY MEN .

Posted at 10:26AM on Jan 1st 2009 by F . B . I .

74. If he were a white Bubba, this would help him get elected Governor of Alabama...look at the parade of clowns who have held the office. The only decent governor they ever had was sent to prison by Karl Rove.

Posted at 10:40AM on Jan 1st 2009 by George Wallace

75. A man is just a man and Barkley should not be held to any higher standard that we all hold for ourselves.the only time that it becomes a problem is getting caught doing it.I admire sir charles but brother think before you leap next time and let this be a lesson learned.

Posted at 7:52PM on Jan 1st 2009 by 62 blue

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