Barkley Lawyers Up, Opens His Mouth

16. From the pages of the New England Journal of Health, December 2008, Vol XXICCMM, Issue VIII, (copyrighted einStinE):


one and all,

i must resurrect my hypothesis that of which i am most known: 'Bling
Splatt the Cause of Pre-Mature Death among Rappers'.

As submitted
to the New England Journal of Health, the American
Medical Association, National Geographic, Reader's Digest, and
Redbook.

My postulate that the root cause of death among rappers is not due to
black on black crime, per se. But, due to the inordinate use of metals
within the framework of their upper torso, in the region of what is
known on the street as 'da grill'. Commonly used metals such as
silver, gold, platinum, and an occasional diamond or two (dependent
upon the rappers ability to sell their wares - ie records - ) as
placed in the oral cavity of said rapper, causes reactions such that
mortality rates are a foregone conclusion. There is no cure for
'Bling Splatt", the diagnosis is death.

What causes 'Bling Splatt'? There is no simple answer. My theory
revolves about the idea that low IO levels of said rappers combined
with calcuim and phosphorous (previously stated in street slang as
'da grill')
when mixed with metals and/or metallic objects react such
that positively charged electrons are emitted which when released
within the parietal lobe send such a large electrical pulse
throughout the parietal region of the brain, that the organ cannot
absorb...in essence...KABOOM !!!...the brain has exploded...ie "Brain
Splatt".

Collegues at the Bellevue Mental Hospital, Def Jam Records Inc.,
Johns Hopkins Medical University, and Toys 'R Us are in concert with
my hypothesis, theories, and ideas. They are all in agreement that
more study and review is needed in this arena of medicine. I have
applied for a $500 Billion bailout for study and research and a few
luxury amenities for myself (Mustang Ranch, Nevada trips for me and
the staff, and dubs for my Prius). President-elect Obama has been
apprised of this situation and receives daily updates as to which
rapper is next believed to contract the illness as such.
The Central
Intelligence Agency (CIA), the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI),
the Secret Service, MI6, Scotland Yard, and Elmer Fudd are conducting
intelligence quotient (IO) tests on secretly on unsuspecting rappers,
as we speak, in order to compile and update their existing files of
low intelligence rappers.

Such a twist of fate that belies our 'mos def freestylin'
word-slangin' prophets. That there by the grace of God, he shall
speak. But, there by the grace of God, when he speaks with mouths
full of 'bling', his head will go BOOM !!!

My services are rendered to expose the truth regards the death of our
nations rappers. Word !!!

einStinE



(As reprinted by waYneNuton, with permission from his supremacy einStinE)

Posted at 4:51PM on Jan 5th 2009 by waYneNutoN

17. I wish you would stop calling every model that goes out with a celebrity a "supermodel." Nobody knows Bar whatshername and they wouldn't recognize her anywhere without Leo, including all the photogs.

Posted at 5:06PM on Jan 5th 2009 by dee

18. SIR CHUCK WAS OVER"SIR"VED; HE WAS KIDDING ABOUT THE TATOO AS WHO WOULD WANT TO LOK AT HIS ASS? HE COULD PUT HIS PIN #, SAFE COMBINATION AND SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER THERE AND NO ONE WOULD WANT TO PEEK. DUI SUCKS BUT THE ORAL CRAP ALSO SUCKS AS NO CHARGES WERE FILED ABOUT CHUCK'S JOKE; HIS DAUGHTER AND WIFE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO HEAR THAT ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD ON A POLICE REPORT.

PAY YOUR FINE CHUCK AND HOPE TNT DOESN'T SUSPEND OR FIRE YOU.

Posted at 5:16PM on Jan 5th 2009 by john rousseau

19. The PR blitz is one put on by Maasen for Maasen! Charles is entitled to a defense - unfortunately, he picked out an attorney who is looking out for himself first. Check out his actual news release "Scott Maasen is available for further comment on Mr. Barkley's behalf in studio, by phone or via email. Please direct all queries to Ms. Kerr."
Nobody should ever hire an attorney whose main goal is to get his name out there and make himself available and your expense. A reputable defense attorney does not do this.

Posted at 5:51PM on Jan 5th 2009 by Wills

20. If you read the police report he seemed to be overly concerned about being tested for drugs,denying he used them three times even though no one ever accused him of using drugs,only alcohol.

Posted at 6:00PM on Jan 5th 2009 by Barkley for guv

21. Wills ^^ I completely agree. Mouth shut. Let the work do the talking. Hopefully SOMEONE in Barkely's camp will do some actual research and fire this inept publicity seeker and hire an attorney who is in it for the best interest of his client- not just the PR.

Posted at 6:04PM on Jan 5th 2009 by PhxGirl

22. the closest he ever got to a 4.0 in college waz his blood test....

Posted at 6:18PM on Jan 5th 2009 by 99centz

23. By the Order of the Church of Scientology:
We, scientolo's DO believe in einStinE's theory "The Cause of
Pre-Mature Death among Rappers is 'Bling
Splatt".
it will be included on page 23 of our monthly misselette.

Praise to xenu, xena, nanu-nanu !!!
The Church of Scientolgy
Monthly Newletter xxiiccxiv



y'all better be ready. i saw the above notice & wanted to warn
y'all
that scientolo's agree with einStinE !!!
if you're not schooled on what "BLING SPLATT" is...get busy and
school yo sef, & not play wit yo sef !!!

Praise be to einStinE and his theory of 'The Cause of Pre-Mature
Death among Rappers is BLING SPLATT',
waYneNutoN

Posted at 6:37PM on Jan 5th 2009 by waYneNutoN

24. HE'S GUILTY OF BEING A DRUNK AND A PIG.

Posted at 12:18PM on Jan 6th 2009 by STORMY7

25. charles,

come with us...join with us...be with us...

xenu is calling !!! xeni is calling !!! xenu is calling !!!
tom, john, will

Posted at 6:40PM on Jan 5th 2009 by tom, john, will

26. His comments made to the officer about " this other woman " will not enter into his DUI case but it will more then likey finally get his wife to decide to leave the guy. If he has cheated once, then he has done it again and again. I feel terrible for his wife but i'm sure there are reason's for her staying in the marriage ie,,daughter,

This same behavior is no secret to the public, As for TNT, chances are not good he will be back, espically after those comments and driving impaired!

Posted at 8:17PM on Jan 5th 2009 by steve

27. No advertiser, business, or person in their right mind will do any kind of business with, or with those who do, business in any form with a man who publicly boasts he is seeking oral sex on the streets.

You want your product, service, or endorsement from this "person"? Not unless you are selling sex toys or gloryhole visits.

He cooked his own goose and we all know its been long overdue. His big dumb hick mouth finally caught up with him. No longer will he be sought out, looked to, called, consulted, invited nor included-----in nearrly anything.

He is the new OJ, without the murdered bodies.

And his crying and rehab and finding jesus and his momma wont change a thing....the DUI is one thing, the openly boasting of seeking oral sex on the street with a known person he has already been serviced from puts him in a league he will be the president of.

Can you imagine him giving color commentary to any game? Puh-leeze....all the viewers will be thinking about is this big fat black man getting a bj.

Posted at 8:28PM on Jan 5th 2009 by he will suffer now for sins of his past

28. outpouring of support during this difficult time." Did someone die?

Posted at 9:25AM on Jan 6th 2009 by Micki