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Suspected Sex Offender Is Luckiest Bastard Alive

1/30/2009 4:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

Some dude who is accused of sexually assaulting a 4-year-old girl allegedly tried to kill himself by driving his van off a ledge in Colorado. And it almost worked...


In what has to be one of the craziest twists of fate ever, the perp's van caught a ledge -- and a search and rescue team got to the guy before karma did.

Dude went to the hospital, but as soon as he gets out, cops say he'll be immediately arrested.

Wonder if he can keep the soap from dropping too....

61 COMMENTS

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31.

* WHiSKY GiRL *    

WHAT A FREAKKKKKK C'MON JUST PUT THE BASTERED AWAY HE DOESNT NEED MEDICAL HELP TAKE HIM TOO JAIL ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

2071 days ago
32.

Walter    

God saved this guy. God has plans for him. I think that God is pissed.

2071 days ago
33.

patty deborn    

This happened right by where I live. He was on the front page of the Grand Junction Daily Sentinel. He is a confessed child molester who should rot in HELL! The van is still in the Colorado National Monument, right by where I live. Do you realize how much of your MONEY this costs to remove him and now, the van? What a bum. At least he could have made it to the bottom so they could have got him out, dead, but less expensive. Sorry for the bitterness, I hate this type of human being..

2071 days ago
34.

NotReligious    

"Now, I have to ask you religious folks - WHY would God want to save a guy like this, cause I know you'll all say that it's part of his plan."

So he can face the justice he deserves, in prison.

2071 days ago
35.

james    

hah. Looks like he tried to jump across the canyon and almost made it.. A rocket powered pedo-van.

2071 days ago
36.

juli    

They always say Karma is a bitch....well your looking at it. How ironic though is it that he gets to go to jail and hang out with all the BIG boys for a while after going to the hospital. What a F-ing loser and I hope he gets the broomstick while hes on vaction in there.

2071 days ago
37.

DJW    

Too bad Gods plan didn't include a nice gust of wind

2071 days ago
38.

binks2003    

His name is David John Lyons. I can't find a picture.

2071 days ago
39.

Firefly    

#24, God wanted him to suffer here on earth in front of all of us first so that we could get some kind of satisfaction and closure. If he had let him die and the ass went straight to hell, we would not have seen him go or even known if he made it. There would always be the what if...Any way God knows this is only a drop in the bucket when it comes to time. This Jerks real time starts when GOD says his times up.

2071 days ago
40.

Inchdeep    

#1 same reason he does not make you leave the planet yet. Still give you a chance to repent.

2071 days ago
41.

Jennifer    

This happened in Grand Junction, CO where I live. He did not have insurance and the National Park Service now has to fork over more than $15,000 for a 250 ton crane to pull this P.O.S out of the canyon! Not to mention what it cost to "rescue" his sorry self. Hope he gets what he deserves!

2070 days ago
42.

INGEORGIA    

If you google about this, you will find that he did indeed admit to police when questioned that he had in fact molested this little 4 year old. Another girl came forward as well and stated that he had tried to molest her, but she wouldn't let him. They didn't state that girls age. While the police were getting an arrest warrant, he left the police station and ran off the side of the cliff. Anybody that molests a child should have an instant death penalty in my opinion. But, what awaits him in prison may be worse!!

2070 days ago
43.

lost in lalaland    

Ha! Karma's a hitch!

2070 days ago
44.

patty deborn    

Van Removed from Colorado National Monument
Jan 30 11:34 AM EST

Portions of Rimrock Road were closed Thursday morning as crews maneuvered a 240 ton crane into place above Red Canyon to remove a van. The driver 34âyearâold Daniel Lyons survived the crash but is behind bars on charges of sexual assault on a child.

2070 days ago
45.

Soldier    

rawrimadino (number 29) almost had it right.
If this man wasn't saved, he would indeed go to Hell. God allows suffering for His purposes, and His purposes are not known to man.
Hell indeed would be the worst suffering a man could endure, MUCH worse than prison!
All who dies without being born again will be in Hell suffering an eternity of pain separated from God.

None of us are any more or less deserving of salvation than any other, and this man, through his suffering on earth will probably come to know God through Jesus and will be born again.
His name will be written in the Book of Life and he will spend all eternity in Heaven.

Those of you who flaunt your self-righteousness here gloating over the rapes and pain you hope this man suffers, should know that God views your righteousness as filthy rags, and will judge you as harshly as you are judging this man.

One of you said that pedophiles cannot be cured. You are wrong, and by saying this you commit the unforgivable sin of blaspheming the Holy Spirit. ANYTHING is possible for God! Pedophiles can indeed be cured, and since they have the lowest recidivism rate of any other convicts, it appears God has cured quite a few of them.

I'm certain this man will be offered a plea deal to save his young victim having to go through the ordeal of testifying, and I'm sure he'll accept it. I hope he survives prison and is saved. His testimony will serve to help others come to God. I hope all of you can experience the joy and love of God in Christ.

2070 days ago
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