Paris & Doug Break Up -- Already Talkin' Split

31. Nobody gong to marry that 2 cent ho, she probley broke a record for having the most boyfriends ever,her vagina could probley drive a truck inside and park, NASTY GIRL JUST LIKE JANICE DICKERSON,REALLY NASTY

Posted at 10:58PM on Jun 10th 2009 by Paris would qualify for a ho

32. Bummer. If two skanks ever deserved each other, it was those two...

Posted at 11:05PM on Jun 10th 2009 by fashion disaster

33. YOU BUNCH OF HATERS THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted at 11:16PM on Jun 10th 2009 by i pee freely

34. I cant believe Im bored enough to even read this crap, much less take the time to comment. I need a life!

Posted at 11:21PM on Jun 10th 2009 by not a fan

35. Doug was never a professional baseball player as he claims to be and he really sucked and was only in minor leagues.
Please read this article I found on the net the other day.

Sometimes at Punch Shots we try to sharpen our focus on items with loose connections to the sporting world that we find entertaining.

And sometimes it leaves us a little embarrassed about how the hell we came across this stuff in the first place … so we’re just going to be upfront on this one.

Hey, I was going through Google News Monday morning when I came across a Paris Hilton tidbit about her vacationing in Anguilla with her new boyfriend. (Go ahead, laugh … get it out.)

Anyway, what stood out was a mention in the lead that her boyfriend is “baseball player Doug Reinhardt.”

First reaction: Never heard of the guy.

Second reaction: It’s May. Baseball players are, uh, playing baseball — right?

Isn’t TMZ.com or some other collection of celebrity snoopers supposed to tell us these pertinent details?

Oh well … it required a visit to baseball-reference.com to figure out exactly how a professional baseball player could fit a springtime Caribbean vacation with Paris Hilton into his work schedule.

It turns out Reinhardt was indeed a 10th round pick by the Angels in 2004. He played Rookie ball that year and was a can’t-hit (.205 average), can’t-field (.814 fielding percentage, which is awful) third baseman. He apparently had a knee injury that scrapped 2005, hit .188 in limited action the next year, was ditched by the Angels, picked up by the Orioles, didn’t hit for their short-season Class A team in 2007 and … that’s it.

Well, that’s almost it. Apparently his sister, Casey, was on “Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County.” So the family does have a knack for finding peripheral fame.

Another interesting note: When perusing Doug and Casey’s Wikipedia pages, Doug’s birthdate is listed as Oct. 22, 1985, while his sister – purportedly born to the same mother – is July 1, 1986. If you do the math, that’s eight months and 10 days separating the siblings, which I guess is possible if sis was a preemie … but that’s a quick turnaround.

To summarize: Characterizing Doug Reinhardt’s profession as “baseball player” isn’t very accurate. “Paris Hilton’s beau” is more fitting -- and he’s much better at that than baseball, anyway.

Posted at 11:29PM on Jun 10th 2009 by truth

36. Where's the sex tape?

Posted at 7:53AM on Jun 11th 2009 by osakan

37. What? He was doing this for publicity? Well thank God Paris would never do that. Don't know nuthin' bout publicity, that girl.

Posted at 11:41PM on Jun 10th 2009 by The pot calls the Doug kettle black

38. She must have the most disgusting vajajay on the planet. She has a different dude every week. Her parents must be so proud of this worseless skank. She has a wonky eye, big ass man feet, and does that creepy pose all the time.

Posted at 11:44PM on Jun 10th 2009 by Skankella

39. Paris must have the most disgusting vajayjay in the world. A different man every week, ick and ugh. Mom and dad must be proud of the skanky little princess. She is ugly, has a wonky eye, big ass man feet, and always does that creepy pose!

Posted at 11:47PM on Jun 10th 2009 by too many men and too little time

40. paris rules!

Posted at 11:54PM on Jun 10th 2009 by someone

41. To Paris, We don't care you ho!!!!

Posted at 12:07AM on Jun 11th 2009 by lynnee

42. I look at the old gang, Britney, Lindsay, Nicole and Paris. The only one that seems to have their head on tight is Nicole. The others are floating around the toliet like three turds.

Posted at 12:12AM on Jun 11th 2009 by Lenn K.

43. I typed in the word boohooing and spellchecker did not reject it. It must be a real word. Right?
Oh, about Paris. She will find another boyfriend quickly so do not worry.

Posted at 12:21AM on Jun 11th 2009 by flanker99

44.
He probably missed a payment or found out she accepts them.

Posted at 12:35AM on Jun 11th 2009 by Joe

45. I had to write and say... I'm cracking up that he was crying outside the gates of the n'hood when he realized he was locked out and wasn't getting back in... because when neighbors were complaining about the noise coming from HER house (that Doug was living in...) he was quoted as saying "people need to understand that WE generate attention because WE are celebrities." Bahahaha. No. Paris generates attention because she's a rich socialite... and Doug was riding her coattails for a short while... Bahahaha. (I'm not usually this catty, either... I actually feel a little sad for Paris, since she just realized how she was being used...)

Posted at 12:56AM on Jun 11th 2009 by Jill