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Candy to Tori:

Get Real, Baby

7/27/2009 1:15 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Candy & Tori SpellingCandy Spelling -- the mother famously at war with her daughter -- has taken the bold step of communicating with Tori Spelling through TMZ ... and her opening line isn't gonna get her a lot of invites. Here's the open letter in all its glory:

EXCLUSIVE TO: TMZ.COM
TO: MIDDLE-AGED REALITY SHOW STARS (LIKE MY DAUGHTER)
FROM: CANDY SPELLING

I Know many middle-aged people have issues about their parents and their upbringing. I did. My memories didn't match all those of my mother, and, funny thing, it's the same way with my daughter.

Life has consequences. What you say is on the record. Other people have feelings.


I have a vested interest in this subject. My daughter, Tori's, two-part season finale revolves around my granddaughter's first birthday party and how she has made what seems like an agonizing decision to invite me.

Cue music. Cue sideways glances. Cue Lights.

I did get an invitation just in time for the RSVP deadline. I'm sure its delivery will be on next week's episode with some comment about my house or driveway or street or something they won't like. I wonder if that will be spread out over one part or two. Sigh.

A big party wasn't how I envisioned meeting my granddaughter for the first time; but, hey, this is Hollywood, and my grandchildren have become reality show props, too. At the time I emailed "yes," I didn't realize I was being set up for a two-parter, even though it was clear I was being invited to be part of a segment for my daughter's reality show.

Spoiler alert. Don't read this if you plan to sit through an hour of people looking at their watches and saying "she's late." I decided my first meeting with my granddaughter should be on home video, not primetime cable; so I emailed that I would not be attending.

Back to other reality stars. My husband taught me that the plots have to be fresh and updated. The same old whining gets tired after a while. Enough complaining about what may or may not have happened during first grade or YMCA camp, or what vegetable you were forced to endure, especially when you are privileged enough to be on TV and get paid for it.

For all the reality show personalities, please remember that real life doesn't get edited to make things better or worse or get better ratings. You're responsible for what you do. Life isn't just a show. And your families can't just be props. Make your own season finale without creating conflicts you will regret later.
1285 COMMENTS

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91.

nancy    

Candy is such a control freak, I'm surprised Tori even invited her. And now Candy is deliberately trying to humiliate Tori in front of the world.

What a rotten mother Candy is.The mother from hell. I would NEVER have anything to do with my mom if she behaved like Candy. Can we say--dysfunctional? Sure we can. Run Tori!

1855 days ago
92.

Leila    

It is sad that all of you comment about something you don't personally know about except for what you see on tv. You have no clue who really hurt who and what happened. My mom used to work with Aaron Spelling on a show called Hart to Hart we used to go to his house for holiday partyies at their house. Tori was the biggest b-tch I ever met she was stuck up and looked down on everyone that worked for her dad. She complained about everything and whined and demanded from her mom all night. Mrs. Spelling was kind to me always and made a point to say hi to us kids and make us feel welcome in a very overwhelming situation. These people have freekin money!!! My personal experience is still my opinion today. Tori seems fake as ever and was just as stuck up as always until her dad left her what I consider is still too much money. She wasted money on stupid things. She had a spending habit at her dads expense when he was alive. She had and still has no character or appearance of morals or values to me. Her show is fake and staged so of course she look like a poor victim. Her one and only goal is to make a lot of money and she will do and hurt whoever she has to in order to make it.

Candy if she were my daughter I would ignore her these moms who say their kids can do anything and they would never forsake them are talking out of their ass you don't have to like your kids if they suck as a human being! Have we forgotten Tori cheated on her husband and broke up a family and stole someone elses. She is a greedy spoiled brat!!! I hope what comes around comes around for Tori she still has not learned her lesson.

1855 days ago
93.

ISELA    

CANDY SPELLING IS A BITTER OLD MAID BITCH! I thought I had a f&*% up mother!
If I was Tori I would n't take anything from that woman, I wouldn't even have her see my children. that is not a sane woman.
granted, Tori is a media whore, and her children are props on her show, but she has to make money and at least this way
we know for a fact she does not mistreat her children. she's actually a good mother. all these priveleged kids have all the money they need to do whatever they want and they are still not happy...HOW PATHETIC! they are always depressed, or on drugs, or just brats... how sad.

to tell you the truth, i really don't care about either or anyone of the tori spelling family..

1855 days ago
94.

justaguy    

I'm going to just call it as I see it. You have to be pretty f****** pathetic to have to resort to contacting your estranged daughter via TMZ. This has to be purely for publicity... if not... it's truly pathetic.

1855 days ago
95.

Susanna    

Wow, how sad that Candy is so old yet still hasn't grown up? Tori has tried to involve her mother in her life and the lives of her children (and yes being on a reality show is their life at the moment) but Candy always screws it up. She was around when Liam was born and then just stopped coming over or calling or emailing. She made no effort to see Stella at all and yet she has the nerve to whine about it? Tori tried to step up and be the bigger person by inviting her mother to Stella's birthday party, and if Candy didn't want to be on the show all she had to do was refuse to sign a release, simple as that.

Tori is obviously very hurt by her mother's actions and words, she has shed so many tears over her lack of a relationship with her mom. I have no idea how she turned out to be such a sweet and down to earth person with a mother like that, she must had had one hell of a nanny! To publicly insult your daughter by contacting the media is disgusting. What does she hope to accomplish with this letter other than to intentionally hurt Tori's feelings? If she wants a relationship with her grandkids this definitely isn't the way to go about getting it. Does she really think they will look kindly on her after she rags on their mom like that? If she's trying to lose any chance she ever had of having a real relationship with her family, I think she just accomplished her mission. If my mother or grandmother acted that way I would never want to speak to them again. And to do it in a public forum just means that it will always be available for her grandchildren to read someday.

What does she think her legacy will be? Nothing but a bunch of crazy ass rantings, and "open letters" meant to do nothing but put others down. Her grandkids will hate her for all of the pain she caused their mother, her words are completely empty and meaningless - she says she loves them but makes no real effort to show them her love. Her tombstone should read "Candy Spelling - Devoted wife, Loving mother to Randy Spelling and a bunch of creepy dolls."

1855 days ago
96.

Me    

Harvey,did you REALLY drag out that old chestnut of "Candy contacts Tori in a letter through TMZ again?"

1855 days ago
97.

TMZ fan    

Wasn't Candy having an affair while Aaron was still alive? Aaron seemed gay. Candi was gettin some on the side which ticked Tori off.

1855 days ago
98.

imgeorgewill3    

Tori Spelling has a low self esteem for which she blames her mother for. Candy made a comment about Tori being beautiful but ONLY after she had her nose done was not meant to hurt but to encourage Tori to try and look more attractive and a nose job definately worked in her case. Regardless, Candy probably didn't mean any harm by the remark (she doesn't even remember it she claims!). Who is wrong? They both are! Candy should have not said the remark - or others - because Tori is obviously too sensitive and Tori is wrong to drag this on into her adulthood without getting counseling. My God! She is 35 years old and still bitching about things her mother did? There was no set of instructions that came out witrh you, Tori and your mother did the best that she, or any other first time mother, could do. All mistakes parents make are on the first born. My own mother made plenty of mistakes but, as an adult now, I realize she meant the best and don't dwell on past mistakes because they are done. It's over. You can't go back and take them back so the best thing to do is MOVE FORWARD and realize life is too short. Candy Spelling was over indulgent and DID spoil her 2 children. WHO WOULDN"T with all that money at their disposal?! And don't say Candy is a publicity whore because she sat in the background for over 30 years and let her husband and children take center stage. Now is her turn and even though she is a widow she should enjoy herself and try to make peace with her daughter.

1855 days ago
99.

wawa    

Candy,having known you and your past; you should be ashamed! You should be the bigger person, Unfortunately, you are trying to show your authority and threaten with your use of money. Honesty woman; don't you have enough money? But then again what do you expect from a woman who sells on e-bay gifted items from events. Ever hear and know the meaning of charity? It starts at home!

1855 days ago
100.

Ha THE TEACHER was taught a lesson    

A mother doesn't find pleasure in causing her daughter pain. In a nutshell Candy's letter screams JEALOUSY and after this I hope Tori completely divorces her mother forever and continues to create her family out of friends. Just because a mother gave birth, does not make her a mother. If she never spent time with her or did things with her when younger and instead relied on others and a governess or nanny to raise her daughter, and now does such intentionally malicious This was done with INTENT TO EMOTIONALLY distress and harm Tori, attempt to try to get viewers to feel sorry for Candy and all done with great MALICIOUS intent. What a vile, venomous woman to email TMZ! To make public a letter to her daughter. Cannot handle rejection Candy, then get a shrink! She rejected you for reasons that you are making so apparent to the public now.

If you think you are making viewers look down on Tori, keep it up, it will increase her viewer ratings, it will feed the curiosity and it will continue your downward spiral as the villain and major loon.

You just won the WORST MOTHER OF THE YEAR.

Tori, I am sorry you have to put up with someone so obviously unstable and a woman who got used to a cooshie lifestyle riding on the coat tails of your mom. She is someone who has this sense of entitlement in her life and it is pathetic the things she is doing. Middle Aged Reality star, what are you Candy? A dried up old fat and miserable nobody who is jealous that her daughter was able to go about life without you, that she never allowed you to break her and she went on to create her own beautiful family and circle of friends and success. You are jealous that you did not botch that and jealous that she did it ALL WITHOUT YOU!!!!!!! You CHOSE to make this all public, she defends herself of your constant attempt to sabotage the life she has created for herself and her kids.

So you reap what you sow. Go enjoy your miserable existence, you are a nobody since your husband passed away and you are validating that to the public. I'd never buy your book if it was the last book on earth, I'd never support your disgraceful ways or intention to hurt your own flesh and blood because you cannot handle your own inner jealousy or rejection issues.

Time for some serious meds Candy! You try to hurt your own daughter to continually feed your narcissistic supply and drain her.

Tori, don't let her drain you one minute longer. This is unforgivable now. I used to think there would be a chance of a reunion, to see all families resolve issues and find happiness is great, but with a mother like this, SHE IS TOXIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The best thing to do with a toxic narcissist, DITCH them and fast and never feed their drama. Go enjoy your gems and fortune Candy, maybe you could help a lot of other children in the world if you let go of your greed. But a narcissist will never believe they are in the wrong, and blame everyone else, and they feed off of hurting others.

Tori, keep being beautiful you and a beautiful AMAZING loving mother, embrace what you did not get in your childhood and keep on being all that you never had to your own children, don't waste another minute or breath trying with this woman. You are gorgeous inside and out and have an amazing heart, your mother's heart is cold.

I even felt the draft from her letter......brrrrrr!

She used your father for his fame and fortune, now she is trying to ride off of yours and exploit you! Sick sick greedy lady you are Candy Spelling!

Your husband would be disgusted by you!

1855 days ago
101.

Ha THE TEACHER was taught a lesson    

I mean she got used to riding on the coat tails of your father.

1855 days ago
102.

Ha THE TEACHER was taught a lesson    

Nice Candy, really nice!

Now your grandchildren can grow up and read about what a b.itch of a grandmother they had and understand why she was not in their life!

Put aside your issues with your daughter and do what is in the best interest of the babies, hurting their mother intentionally because you feel hurt, is not in their best interest. It is selfish of you.

1855 days ago
103.

Sidney    

Tomorrow they'll post this was sent from an impostor.

1855 days ago
104.

Euromum    

Dear Candy,

PLease calm down and have this in mind. Motherhood is not about getting right in public. It is about unconditional love and lojalty to your child no matter what. When my daughter was young she also had issues about me as a mother. She was very hard on me. It did hurt deeply. Still I never gave up on her and waited her out. I was there for her without showing her my bitterness and how much she had hurt me. I just did all I could to show again and again I was a mum to count on no matter what. I realy had to go through hell but it payed out. Today my daughter and I have a wonderful relationship again.

To get back your child you need to be quiet in public no matter what Tori might do or say in public. You have to be discrete with your opinion about your daughter, her husband and how they bring up there children. Do all that in private at least from your side. If Tori chooses to make your e-mails and phone calls public, so be it, Just keep quiet even if it hurts you or makes you furious.

Now I belive it is all to late. Your open letter through TMZ is your death sentence. With this letter IF it is realy you who wrote it and asked TMZ to publish it, you have lost your child and your grandchildren for ever.

Be aware of that fact that it might even drive your sun away from you too. A mother who actes like you do does disgust every child even if the child might have acted wrong itself.

I feel so sad for you because I see an old woman fighting for her child desperately and wrongly. I see her being all alone when her time comes. I do not know what to say to comfort you and make you stop acting like you do. I just hope your age has given you some maturity to see my point.

Wake up Candy. It is to late now! You truely have lost your daughter and grandchildren.

One thing I would do in your place is NOT GO FOR REVANGE when your will has to be read to your children on day. There is your final chance to show your forgiveness and unconditional love.

Regards
Euromum,
Stockholm Sweden

1855 days ago
105.

Homie1Kanobe    

Who Gives A Ratz Azz

1855 days ago
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