TMZ

Our TV Shows

Got a Tip?

Call TMZ at (888) 847-9869 or Click Here

Candy to Tori:

Get Real, Baby

7/27/2009 1:15 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Candy & Tori SpellingCandy Spelling -- the mother famously at war with her daughter -- has taken the bold step of communicating with Tori Spelling through TMZ ... and her opening line isn't gonna get her a lot of invites. Here's the open letter in all its glory:

EXCLUSIVE TO: TMZ.COM
TO: MIDDLE-AGED REALITY SHOW STARS (LIKE MY DAUGHTER)
FROM: CANDY SPELLING

I Know many middle-aged people have issues about their parents and their upbringing. I did. My memories didn't match all those of my mother, and, funny thing, it's the same way with my daughter.

Life has consequences. What you say is on the record. Other people have feelings.


I have a vested interest in this subject. My daughter, Tori's, two-part season finale revolves around my granddaughter's first birthday party and how she has made what seems like an agonizing decision to invite me.

Cue music. Cue sideways glances. Cue Lights.

I did get an invitation just in time for the RSVP deadline. I'm sure its delivery will be on next week's episode with some comment about my house or driveway or street or something they won't like. I wonder if that will be spread out over one part or two. Sigh.

A big party wasn't how I envisioned meeting my granddaughter for the first time; but, hey, this is Hollywood, and my grandchildren have become reality show props, too. At the time I emailed "yes," I didn't realize I was being set up for a two-parter, even though it was clear I was being invited to be part of a segment for my daughter's reality show.

Spoiler alert. Don't read this if you plan to sit through an hour of people looking at their watches and saying "she's late." I decided my first meeting with my granddaughter should be on home video, not primetime cable; so I emailed that I would not be attending.

Back to other reality stars. My husband taught me that the plots have to be fresh and updated. The same old whining gets tired after a while. Enough complaining about what may or may not have happened during first grade or YMCA camp, or what vegetable you were forced to endure, especially when you are privileged enough to be on TV and get paid for it.

For all the reality show personalities, please remember that real life doesn't get edited to make things better or worse or get better ratings. You're responsible for what you do. Life isn't just a show. And your families can't just be props. Make your own season finale without creating conflicts you will regret later.
1285 COMMENTS

No Avatar
121.

love her!    

Tory, if you are reading this I want to let you know that my mom acts the same foolish and inconsiderate fashion that Candy is acting. My mom has been this way for 31 years and I have cut her off. Sometimes the best healing is realizing you can't change a person and you should not have to. I can't go into details about it but my mom is not in my life and all of us hubby & kids are a lot more content not having to impress or justify to the elephant in the room. God bless

1823 days ago
122.

paris phillippe    

Candy Spelling, you are a horrible mommy "dearest". Why shouldn't Tori talk about it on her show, you are her mother, idiot! So see your grandchildren, what is the matter with you, what is the difference if it is televised or not! What a horrible Mom you are. I love LIam and Stella just from the show, seeing them all the time. What is your problem lady, and Tori didn't cause the death of her Dad. What is the matter with you! I hate those guilt trips. She should have received millions. How can you not give her money. Nothing lazy about Tori, she has been working all her life. Now, writing books succcessfully, a fabulous reality show, and so on. Great little family.
Where is your son, Candy?

1823 days ago
123.

Elizabeth    

OMG!!! I too have problems with my mother. She (and my father) have taken no interest in my 3 kids-now 23, 18 and 17. The last straw was when they decided to go to the graduation of my half brother's child and not my 18 yr old. My 18 yr old has REALLY turned her life around in the past 9 months. They were told about the Grad in March. By her own admission, they were told about my "nephew's" grad the first week of June. "Nephew's" grad was 14 june, mine daughter's was 17 June. I got an email from my father saying they would be unable to attend..."if only we had given them more lead time." I'm furious, my daughter has "had it." Not the first time they have dissapointed, but it will be the last. ;-}

1823 days ago
124.

MMG    

Ok so Candy can go on a news show and watch a viewing of Farrah Faucets cancer special ( farah was a great person what Candy did to exploit that was Awful) and cry in front of ET cameras, but she cant go to a Birthday party!!!!! It was because it was not on terms she wanted the press for it on ET and wanted it to be all about her that she did not go! Tori if you read this I have cut my Dad out of my life I have not seen him in 3 years due to his behavior and I am still a good person and have a wonderful Husband and son that love me for me, life is not over and you have nothing to feel guilty about!

1823 days ago
125.

tricia    

Lots of issues here but none that the public needs to know about. The command to honor your father and mother remains, whether you're best friends or not is another story. When you screw up honoring your parents, relationship issues with others become the next problem. We see that in you, Tori. You are struggling in a lot of different areas and the truth is, tattling on your mother isn't helping you. Neither is your mother's behavior helping her cause. Nobody really enjoys this, not even your viewers.

Tori, your slate isn't perfect either. But you know what? Your kids will be able to read all of this in the year's to come and you know what you've taught them to do? To tattle on you to the media when you hurt their feelings. That's the lesson they're learning in this. That when people make them upset, they should shout it to the heavens in order to even the score.
Trouble is, eventually the heavens don't care to hear about it anymore.

Look, this isn't a national/global issue. You two ladies have a problem and have long had a problem. But it's not the world's concern. Dignify yourselves. If you can't make this relationship work, then part ways. Walk away, shed some private tears, and move forward. You're not the first dysfunctional relationship in the world.

1823 days ago
126.

tricia    

I really can't believe some of you are going to start telling us your problems now. Good grief...

1823 days ago
127.

Kay    

You're asking us to pick sides and these are the choices? Get real, TMZ!

1823 days ago
128.

ginger    

You can take the trash out of the trailer park...but in the end white trash is still white trash. I would say they both have more in common than they realize.

1823 days ago
129.

Melinda    

Candy,
YOU are the mother and it is up to you to steward the proper relationship with your daughter, not the other way around. I would bet it was never Tori's first choice to not love her own mother.

All I can say is that I do hope for the day -- sooner rather than later -- that you take the first steps to repair your relationship with your only baby girl while you still can. Oh, and do this OUT of the public eye, it does not belong here.

I do wish you both a happy and healthy reconciliation based on lots of love. I really do.

1823 days ago
130.

momof3hercules    

I think this is all very sad. What I would do to have my own mother back. I never would have denied her the right to see her grandkids.
I have no idea who is right or wrong here, and believe it goes MUCH deeper than what we read and see. I am sure her mom wasnt the best mother (who is), but maybe Tori also wasnt the best child. She had fame at a very early age, and millions for as long as she could remember. Money and fame does weird things to people.
One more point everyone who says she had to do this to earn a living. Her mother only gave her $600,000. Here is a novel concept how about living like a real person in a home that costs less than a couple of million? If you dont like all your dirty laundry airing get off TV. People who always cry they want privacy, but continue to hoar out their lifes need to stop. Cause you know when you pimp out your life you might just get bitch slapped.

1823 days ago
131.

wityonastyazz    

IT MUST BE A BUNCH OF OLD FU*KERS POSTING THESE COMMENTS THAT AGREE WITH CANDY,SHE IS A AWFUL MOTHER AND PERSON!!! AND YOU PPL NEED TO STOP HATING ON TORI BECAUSE SHE IS SOMETHING HER MOTHER IS NOT,AND THAT IS A GREAT MOTHER. I'M NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING MEAN ABOUT TORI'S SO CALLED MOTHER BECAUSE SHE DOES LOVE HER BUT I WILL SAY THIS, DEAN IS SOOO RIGHT AND TORI YOU NEED TO WAKE UP AND LEAVE HER ASS ALONE!!!!! BY THE WAY SHE IS REACHING OUT TO YOU SHOW'S SHE MEANS YOU NOTHING BUT HARM!!! IF YOU KEEP HARPING ON A NOTHING THATS WHAT YOUR GOING TO END UP WITH.......NOTHING!! SO JUST ENJOY YOUR GREAT FAMILY AND TAKE CARE OF PATSY!! LUV YA BABE!!

1823 days ago
132.

tricia    

If I didn't have a relationship with my mother, I wouldn't summon a big crowd to watch and see if she'd show up to meet her grandchildren in public. Seriously.

Yes, Candy has issues but Candy is a non-issue to the media/tv crowd. Tori is the issue and the thing is, Tori...we all KNOW you and your mom cant make it work. We don't need to hear about it or see it any further. Yes, she's the 'mother' and she will go down in history for failing you...do you want to go down in history as a player in this too? Because that's what this saga has evolved into. Its not longer "Poor Tori, raised by wolves". It's Tori, the wife/mother who can't seem to stop ragging about her mother to the general public.

No offense but when a movie star's career is reduced to reality tv, there's not a lot of future left there. You decrease hopes for success in the future by boring people with your family drama stories. Move on, girl.

1823 days ago
133.

Me    

Mom needs to stop using the media to try to make herself look good. All it does is prove that Tori is so sick of her that she wants nothing to do with her. Therefore, Candy has to turn to a public outlet to get her jabs in to ensure that Tori will likely see it. Tori, I don't blame you. She's an obviously angry woman and I'd want to stay away from her too. I hope you're keeping her grandchildren from her or, at the very least, keep them from being alone with her.

1823 days ago
134.

justice is mine says the lord    

CANDY,CANDY,CANDY....You are the adult. She is still a WOUNDED child. YOU NEED TO GO TO HER, on whatever terms there are and take her in your arms and hold her like you should have done when she was a child. Instead of being the whiney rich woman you seem to be. Why does it matter on whose video tape it takes place, or if it is taped at all. You are missing the point. Have we learned NOTHING from the loss of the KING OF POP...Dont you think if his mother had the opportunity to hug him one more time she would? I bet that if anyone who has lost someone recently, and they didnt get the chance to say the things they needed to say would do just that? I dont care who did what to who, who said something nasty to who, who didnt give who what their inheritance SHOULD HAVE BEEN, doestn matter anymore. What matters is that you have a daughter who needs her mother. Who wants their mother. I have two sons and one daughter and if any of them ever need me, I drop whatever it is I am doing and RUN to them. Get over it and grow up be the adult you are and go to her. Stop this CRAP the public frankly is tired of it.....

1823 days ago
135.

Lisa    

Candy can cry poor me forever, as it seems as though she is planning on doing. Why does she think Tori doesn't have the right to an opnion on how she was raised. I'm sure most of us would have changed things on how we grew up or memories that we did or didn't have. The fact of the matter is, Candy recieved an invite...not only to her grandaughters 1st Birthday, but an invite into her and Deans family which we all know he was not fond of. Regardless if she got it with 3 weeks notice or at the 12th hour, the facts still remain the same...she DIDN'T show! And she can say that it was'nt how she wanted to meet her grandaughter, or that she want'ed the meeting on family film instead of cable, but this pot sure is calling the kettle black don't you think? That wench knows that her daughter is filming a television show, why would she be so shocked at the fact that she would be a part of it? Let's just put it real easy for everyone....Tori isn't dragging this one on and on for the press to eat up....Tori sent a personal inviation to her Mother. She didn't post some crazy letters on TMZ, or on a blog somewhere public. She hasn't created a public letter to her mother for everyone else to be a part of. Beggers can't be choosers, if she wanted to be around she would have gone to the damn party. Even if that isn't how she wanted to meet her she should have thought of that the first 11 months of Stella's life....not missed her first birthday because that isn't the way CANDY wants it.....the party wasn't about her it was about that adorable little Stella. Candy needs to get over herself. She is drawing attention to this because her claim to fame is gone.

1823 days ago
Previous 15 Comments | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | Most Recent | Next 15 Comments

Around The Web