Heidi Montag How to Spoil a Playboy Shoot...

8/13/2009 3:00 AM PDT

The only thing X-rated about Heidi Montag's upcoming Playboy spread is the X-pletive you're going to scream when you realize she's not naked in any of the SIX PAGES of photos.

Sources close to the barely PG-rated photo shoot tell TMZ, the magazine was under strict instructions when shooting Montag -- "No nipples, no vagina, no ass."

Due to the third part of the agreement, Spencer will not be appearing in any of the pictures.