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DJ AM -- Crack Was 'My Drug of Choice'

8/30/2009 4:41 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

There are several chilling quotes and clips popping up about DJ AM since he died, but listening to him call crack his "drug of choice" might be the most telling of them all.



In a recent interview with MTV News to promote his upcoming reality show about drug abuse, DJ AM talked about how he bought a crack pipe to show how easy it is. He said, "I bought a crack pipe ... that was my drug of choice. And I walked out and I'm holding it ... and then I realized after I was holding it that my palms were sweaty and I was like, 'Wait a minute, this is not smart for me to be holding this.'"

AM was found dead in his apartment Friday night of an apparent drug overdose. A law enforcement source told us they found a bag of crack by his body.

132 COMMENTS

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46.

lenabenas21    

helping other addicts is what those in recovery do - it's just how things work and it's not what did him in. recovering addicts need to be of service to others. educate yourselves on addiction before you judge. dj am helped several people on their road to soberity and it's unfortunate that things ended this way for him.

1775 days ago
47.

J C    

Shame doesn't heal.
Addiction is propelled by unresolved stored emotions held in by demonic power.
Demons(yes fallen spirits )get people to believe lies and take up residence in a person's soul (mind,will,emotions) to kill and destroy them because they hate us.
we are created in the image of God and Satan wants to pervert that ,get people to be like Him ,and take as many of us as He can to hell.
I had the shocking realization of this when demonic spirits were cast out of me.
Oh the torments I suffered.The lonliness,false identities and pain of surrendering my will to drugs and homosexual sex.Believing that was who I was .
Having become a christian at a very young age and then falling into lies(pathology)I hated christians and thought they were ignorant after all I was a christian and gay activist(false identity)sex addict.
It wasn't until I met a christian with spiritual discernment who was able to cast the demonic power (ironically after a friend's aids memorial).
What a shock!!! and what a burden was lifted from my soul.
People don't realize when they go to sex and drugs for escape they are prey to satan .He will send His demons to keep You believing lies about Yourself and God and keep You in addictive bondage.
It's been many years since that happened and I am going from freedom to freedom and strength to strength as God uproot the painful stored emotions that remained.
I'm saying this not to offend anyone ,but to expose the spiritual reality of addiction.
Only through Jesus Christ can You have true freedom.
Ungodly sex doesn't bring freedom nor do drugs it's a counterfeit.
We were created for fellowship and relationship with God.
If You don't believe in Christ You need to be redeemed.Become born again spiritually and walk with Him and He will cleanse amnd purify You.

1775 days ago
48.

Anon    

Doing that show was a huge mistake for him. This was filmed 30 days before his death. Look what he talks about - his own concern that he should be around these things. He should not have done this show regardless of his intentions be they money or helping others.

1775 days ago
49.

janalal4    

Who knows what triggered this guy. Was it the girlfriend thing, was it doing this show, was it the plane crash. Addicts can find a million "reasons" to use if we really want to. I find that when I'm not staying honest & being real about whatever I'm going through, then I start withdrawing & living "in my own head" too much. That's when you start keeping secrets that can lead to a relapse. That's what the meetings(AA, NA) are for. There's nothing more "real" than one addict relating to another. "lenabenas" above was right when she said he was trying to "be of service to other addicts" so whatever went horrible wrong for this guy; I give him credit for trying to do the right thing there. In one moment, addiction can end your life. You never know what dose it's gonna be that will take you out. Just like with MJ I guess.

1775 days ago
50.

LadyG    

Aside from his word, do any of you have actual proof that he was clean for all those years? So, some of you don't like reading nasty comments, does that mean none of you have ever left comments others didn't like??? He was a druggie pure and simple. I love how people think druggies deserve praise and respect.

1775 days ago
51.

janalal4    

Lady G- That's what is said at Wikipedia as far as the length of his sobriety & yes I believe that was based on DJ AM's word. I suppose because he was an addict we can't trust his word, right?? And absolutely. If he was able to get clean & stay clean for that period of time he DEFINITELY deserves respect for that. If you have never had to cope with addiction or had someone you love go through it then I suppose you might not understand that.

1775 days ago
52.

Amber    

I'm going to continue our conversation in this thread because it seems to me that the pathetic individuals have joined this one as well.

"Amber & her caring post....
'explained'.....STFU & stop being a control freak will ya? It doesn't
matter if she knew him or not,she has every right to share her
thoughts & YOU are NOT the comment monitor....get over
yourself....nobody forces you to read anyone's comments. You do it so
you can then bitch at nice people for what? saying nice things?
AMBER: Great post! ;-)
******************************************************************
Maybe some of us would like for you to keep your sentimentality over
someone you didn't even know to yourself. But that's just not how it
works, darlin'."

Posted at 6:58PM on Aug 29th 2009 by explained

THANKS RAVEN

Whether I knew DJ AM or not, he was a human being with family and
friends that cared and loved him deeply. I find it truly disgusting
that there are people in this world that could care less about others
feelings or the life of a human being. You are the same individuals
that make outlandish comments about our lost soldiers. No one in this
world is perfect. I'm not perfect. I know each and every person
reading this right now has some kind of imperfection that they wish
they didn't have.
Being an addict is a disease. It is not something you can erase, even
when you have been sober for years. It only takes one mistake to start
the impulses all over again. If you are not an addict, don't act like
you understand an addicts brain or what they go through daily to
control their addictions. I commend DJ AM for his years of sobriety.
Something small can spark the thought of using again so, I bet the
plane crash and the burns he sustained led to him using drugs again.
Otherwise, I think he would be alive and sober today.
If you are one of the individuals posting ridiculous comments, please
look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself what it would be like
reading rude comments about someone you've lost.
It's truly pathetic and karma is a bitch.
Amber

1775 days ago
53.

Tutti Froooooty    

Definitely agree with #2. If your so damn stupid you would put such a toxic drug through your system...then you have had it coming!! Why would you ever try drugs in the first place? Is staying dead for eternity really worth hitting that crack pipe or shooting up with that needle?? GROW A BRAIN YOU NITWITS!! Celebrities are some of the lowest pieces of trash out there I don't give a crap how many millions of dollars you have!!!!

1775 days ago
54.

janalal4    

Amber- Well Said! Glad you spoke up. Some of us were starting to feel kind of alone out here.

1775 days ago
55.

Tutti Froooooty    

Why can't they rise above all the doped up party goers of the hollywood scene and say, "Hey..drugs are NOT cool, and I am going to take a stand for others out there and do the simplest thing that they taught us in 5th grade...Just Say NO!!!"

1775 days ago
56.

janalal4    

gnarly one- That inquisition thing was funny as sh..!!!!!

1775 days ago
57.

Amber    

Thanks janalal4
It's only the ignorant that addiction is a choice. Yes, it is ones choice to have a couple beers their first time. There is absolutely not one person in this world who says "I think I will become an addict today." If you are uneducated about addiction, then educate yourself before you make your false judgments on anyone with an addiction.
And for anyone out there that thinks he "deserved" to die, screw yourself. That's like saying someone deserved to die because they didn't look both ways. Grow up! No person deserves to die because they have an ADDICTION. LOOK ADDICTION UP in the dictionary


1775 days ago
58.

janalal4    

Amber- there are some seriously "mean-spirited" people posting over here. Doesn't seem to be any way of "getting thru" either when you try to explain yourself. I've been "waging a war" here for the last several pages. I've been an addict in recovery since '92 & could never have done it without love & support but alot of people think the solution is to belittle the addict. It makes me wonder who the addict was that crapped on them in their lifetime that they feel so hostile toward addicts in general.

1775 days ago
59.

anonymous    

it's too bad that he was sober for so long and turned to drugs again to cope with his breakup.

1775 days ago
60.

Amber    

Janalal4
I'm sure after writing this I'm going to be slandered but I don't care. I'm personally dealing with my own battle as we speak. I never thought that having a beer or two on the weekends would eventually lead to wanting to drink a few beers everyother night. Within the last year, I've realized that the want to have a couple of beers became more of a need. A need to have a couple of beers to function the same. It's a terrible realization that you may have a addiction. For the last several months I quit drinking beer however, I've had my relapses. I think "it will be okay for me to have a couple of beers tonight." Guess what, it's not okay because those couple of beers gives me that uncontrollable want for more and I have to start all over again. It has not been easy and it will probably be difficult for the rest of my life. I'm still young and most people my age can enjoy a beer or two without the same effects as I have.
Just recently I had to have a root canal and the dentist prescribed me pain meds prior to the surgery. Mind you I had not had a single beer for months but once he gave me the pain meds, I had that urge again. I'm new to all of this addiction stuff so, I def have learned my lesson about medication. This is also why I truly believe that DJ AM relapsed because of the pain meds after his plane crash. Once he started taking them, he felt the same urge as I did to fall back into his "drug of choice."
So, the only people that will truly understand addition are those that have lived with the disease.
I'm a strong woman and I know that I will beat this but it will not be easy. It's a shame that people are so hateful towards others.

1775 days ago
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