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Rachel Uchitel -- Cardboard Contestant

2/23/2010 4:10 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF

Tiger Woods Mistress #1, Rachel Uchitel, would be game to compete in the Tiger Woods mistress beauty pageant, thrown by Howard Stern, but can't because of her settlement with the golfer ... sources tell TMZ. A diabolical plan, however, is now in play.

Rachel Uchitel -- Cardboard Contestant

We've learned one of Rachel's friends is approaching Howard's people today, asking that a cardboard version of Rachel in various states of dress could compete against the other living, breathing contestants for the $100,000 prize.

Howard announced today he has 4 live mistresses signed up ... so far. But he's not saying who. We're thinking even a cardboard Rachel could beat a toothless Jaimee Grubbs or a shameless Joslyn James.

By the way, Rachel is moving back to Vegas next week, sans job. Fun fact -- Nevada is contiguous with Arizona.

46 COMMENTS

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16.

mel    

Rachel is the prettiest. Jaimee looks to plastic. And that red headed porn star Joslyn looks a complete mess. What happened to her hair, Ugggggggg.

1611 days ago
17.

BABABOOEY    

LONG LIVE THE KING !!!

BABABOOEY!!! BABBOOEY!!!

1611 days ago
18.

Amy    

Miss Uchitel and this Joslyn Jaymes are the WORST kind of bottom feeders. I'd call them attention HO's but that would be an insult to ho's everywhere. I voted for Jaimee because I don't remember her being anywhere near the kind of vulture these two women have been and I see all these people voted for Rachel who is probably the worst of them all. O K A Y......... So much for common sense, people!!!

1611 days ago
19.

cochino    

just because she's a whore doesn't mean TMZ has to pimp her

STOP promoting this ho

no one gives a f#$@#@#

1611 days ago
20.

yeah....and?    

Kudos to Devon, I agree with you.

WHAT is happening to the women today, not all I realize, but way too many females today just have zero dignity.

There are some thngs that NO ONE is going to be able to say about me, being a gal who plays a part in hurting another woman and her CHILDREN falls into that space.

Ladies, there are a ga-zillion men out there. WHY would anyone want the drama involved with a married man? Esp, one with kids?
Do any of you really, I mean REALLY think they are going to leave their wives?

and......if they do....for you....won't he be just as capable of doing to you later? To live with the wondering all the time? I mean, they do love their wives and had kids, the whole nine, so I'm asking: what makes you so special?!

Nothing, because they have already proven what they are capable of.

1611 days ago
21.

MightyMad    

14. What a class act you are TMZ...total bottom feeders. Even reading your site makes me want to jump in the shower and scrub with a disenfectant soap and very hot water.

Posted at 3:02PM on Feb 23rd 2010 by Judy
___________________________________________________

... SO WHY ARE DOING HERE? WHY ARE YOU EVEN BOTHERING POSTING ANYTHING?!

Man, people like are the SADDEST FOLKS ON THIS PLANET, you know that, right? If you dislike something, DON'T GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO LOOK FOR IT. Don't like TMZ? WELL STOP COMING HERE!!!

Pathetic loser...

1611 days ago
22.

MightyMad    

17. just because she's a whore doesn't mean TMZ has to pimp her

STOP promoting this ho

no one gives a f#$@#@#
Posted at 3:37PM on Feb 23rd 2010 by cochino
___________________________________________________

... And yet you post about it, so, on some level, YOU DO GIVE A f#$@#@#.

Another loser...

1611 days ago
23.

Q    

Rachel's cut out will win if she keeps the sunglasses on. Once she takes them off it's all down hill. She's got a kickin' body so I guess Tiger is a believer of the "ugly goes away in the dark" mentality. He sure picks a scrappy bunch of ho-bags. You would think with all that loot he'd bang someone with a pretty face.

1611 days ago
24.

hottopics    

1611 days ago
25.

Cassie    

Please quit adding to this sluts 15 minutes.

1611 days ago
26.

FULGY    

Whores and reality stars are now celebrities.
Times sure have changed

1611 days ago
27.

nohiphop2    

Poll messed up Jaimee 100000000000 better looking then the other two.

1611 days ago
28.

???????????????????????    

7. Howards history huh... He has more listeners on PAID satellite radio then anyone else on goofball regular radio. He's makes 100 million a year and the former company he worked for is down 57% and not to mention anyone who has tried to fill his former time slot has FAILED and or got fired. Go listen to his immitators Opie and Anthony. I'm sick of you jealous pricks.

Posted at 2:37PM on Feb 23rd 2010 by D-Unit


D-Unit...first does tha mean you have one unit for a brain...who cares what that (p) rick howard stern makes a year....once you are an azzwipe then always be an azzwipe, howard can take his money and shove it up his skinny uglee butt for all I care..the gus a giant douchebag, just like D-Unit is, so I can see why Some Homo that goes by D-Unit would defend another homo. Howard Stern is the walking AIDS VIRUS!

1610 days ago
29.

???????????????????????    

1. R.I.P MICHAEL JACKSON

Posted at 2:16PM on Feb 23rd 2010 by mjfan212



Rest in Pergatory Mj you were after all a sick b;stard!

1610 days ago
30.

eyeroll    

Will someone please make these broads go away! Far, far away.

For this poll, you should have included Howard or None.

Please, skanks, just...go.

1610 days ago
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