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Rachel Uchitel -- Cardboard Contestant

2/23/2010 4:10 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF

Tiger Woods Mistress #1, Rachel Uchitel, would be game to compete in the Tiger Woods mistress beauty pageant, thrown by Howard Stern, but can't because of her settlement with the golfer ... sources tell TMZ. A diabolical plan, however, is now in play.

Rachel Uchitel -- Cardboard Contestant

We've learned one of Rachel's friends is approaching Howard's people today, asking that a cardboard version of Rachel in various states of dress could compete against the other living, breathing contestants for the $100,000 prize.

Howard announced today he has 4 live mistresses signed up ... so far. But he's not saying who. We're thinking even a cardboard Rachel could beat a toothless Jaimee Grubbs or a shameless Joslyn James.

By the way, Rachel is moving back to Vegas next week, sans job. Fun fact -- Nevada is contiguous with Arizona.


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tigers just as big a slut and whore as these women are

1681 days ago

David in Bangkok    

It appears with rare exception that the women that Tiger had relations with have exceeded their "Bang By Date". Several are starting to bloat up, some even starting to lose their teeth. And those are the ones who want to be actresses! Rachel is probably the best of the lot but getting a little long in tooth (no pun). When Tiger returns to "The Show" he will have a new crop to choose from. The one fugly one crying about no apology with her gender confused attorney, Gloria Allred, is an embarrassment to the whole Tiger Woods organization.

1681 days ago

Dirt Burger    

Jamiee Grubbs signed up, gee what a surprise? I guess George Clooney never called her back after he used her! Maybe she will win enough money from Howard to dye her hair all the same color.

1681 days ago

Dirt Burger    

Rachel looks 40, she's only 35?

1681 days ago

Dirt Burger    

I want Grubbs to win, that way she can buy a new tooth. Even all those sleazy guys who hang out in those LA clubs won't bang a toothless tramp. She needs to get that fixed, then maybe she would get a break and end up on Tool Academy 4. I take that back, it's aiming too high for someone of her talent skills.

1681 days ago


I thought Rachel Uchitel wanted her privacy? Now she wants a cardboard picture of herself in the contest? Yup, it sounds like she wants privacy alright. She is now moving back to Vegas. I hope she doesn't believe the saying "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" I guess we all can look forward to more stupid pictues of her dancing in Vegas and pouting those lips!

1681 days ago


Why do you call these women all kinds of vile names and say that we should forgive Tiger because he made a "mistake" and really loves his wife and family? What story have you been reading? He gets to act like a slut but gets a free pass because he can play golf and sniffed a few times while saying he is sorry. All of these people involved are broken people... it is an annoying double standard to say we should forgive him while vilifying these women. HE WAS THE ONE WHO WAS MARRIED!!!

1680 days ago


Is it just me, or does this skank look like she's got a herpe garden around that awful mouth?

1680 days ago


Can somebody please tell me why TMZ says "Nevada is contiguous with Arizona" in regards to this story? Did I miss something?

1680 days ago


I invented American Idol. Hoo Hoo!

1680 days ago


The media should stop using Tiger Woods and his family for high ratings and sales. Tiger is trying to put his life back together and he has a right to do so.Tiger wants to save his marriage and family, let him do it!!! Get off their back!!!

1680 days ago


Settlement? What settlement? Wasn't she caught trying to mess up David Borenez marriage? This constitutes willfullness on her part, how is she entitled to anything but giving the wife's involved an apology. You guys need to follow her around and find out who all she's really sleeping with.

1680 days ago


If Rachel Uchitel accepts this challenge for a carboard of her at the Beauty contest then she will be admiting that yes she did receive a settlement from Tiger Woods. I thought she was denying that. I also thought she wanted to be left alone and wanted her privacy. I guess not. She must be getting down in cash. If Howard Stern has $l00,000.00 to throw around he should donate it to the 9/11 memorial or Haiti. What a waste of money to spend it on these mistresses and alledged mistresses. A Beauty Contest no less. Does anyone think these mistresses are really good looking or talented enough to even be in a Beauty contest. They are showing the world that they like to be exploited and used. Everyone is laughing at them and they are too dumb to even realize that. What must there children and families be thinking? Disgusting it really really is.

1680 days ago


She needs to GO AWAY!!!!! Did you see her on EXtra??? OMG!!! Who wants to SEE her ugly home- wrecker face as a "celebrity correspondent"??? Puuuuuleeeeeeeze!!! DO NOT GIVE THAT SKANK A JOB!!! She has the NERVE to tell Mario Lopez that she wants a husband and kids!!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK on that one, Rachel!!!!!

1679 days ago

Sonney Dey    

I want more pictures/news of Jaimee Grubbs... SHE was the hottest one!
I knew it would come to this when I seen a picture of him with his IMG handlers way back 5 months after he turned pro. He was at a VIP table and being doted over by high class Asian geisha girls.
When he said “Hello World” everybody in the know KNEW he was REALLY saying, “Hello Whores!”

1656 days ago
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