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Lindsay Lohan -- One if By Land, Two if By Sea

5/21/2010 12:50 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Lindsay Lohan is asking for it ... if and when she comes home from France, because the judge ain't gonna like what she's about to see.

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Beverly Hills' flakiest probationee got off a yacht in Cannes this morning -- at around 7:30 AM to be specific ... after a night of partying.

Sources tell TMZ Lindsay has booked a flight that will take her back to L.A. tomorrow, but who knows if she'll actually board.  We're told Lindsay is asking around for a private jet to ferry her home.  So far, no one is biting.

Lindsay is scheduled to be in court on Monday at 8:30 AM -- but we're filing that under "Believe it when we see it."

UPDATE:  Now this is the best.  Sources tell TMZ Lindsay and her pal got stranded on the boat because a friend took off in their car. We're told Lindsay wanted to leave hours before and only went out because it was someone's birthday.


154 COMMENTS

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76.

PK    

This person is definately out of control!She has no respect for the law and only does what she wants to do. I understand she will have a new judge to face. I hope she gets serious jail time, not a posh rehab, like her parents want. She has to come off that pedistal and face reality. Personally, I prefer she stay in France. We have enough of her type here.

1584 days ago
77.

Lori    

She really, really, REALLY needs to learn about personal responsibility. If I were the judge and I saw this, I'd get the word out that she had better not be one minute late on Monday or she would end up in jail. If you are worried about the paparazzi making you late, then arrive at 6 AM.

1584 days ago
78.

Joanne    

How does one post bail before an arrest? Just wondering...

1584 days ago
79.

anony    

Makes absolutely NO difference.




Even while wearing a SCRAM bracelet, this idiot won't be able to stop drinking.



And then she'll claim false positives.



And then the judge will throw her in jail.



Finally.

1584 days ago
80.

Janet    

She is an adult and is responsible for her own actions. Is that guy the waiter?

1584 days ago
81.

exbff    

I thought Gummy Bear was in rehab...not in Cannes.

1584 days ago
82.

Mr Yuck    

As the judge said, Lindsey's actions are speaking volumes about her concern over showing the judge that she is really trying. I'm really hoping that she isn't given the standard kid gloves treatment that celebrities tend to get, and they really throw the book at her. At this point, she all but flipped off the judge with her antics.



It's hard to tell if she's really this stupid, or she just thinks she's untouchable. The luck has got to be running out for this girl, and soon. I can't even imagine most studios would even want to risk taking a chance on casting her in anything at this point in her career.



As I think about it more, this reminds me a lot of her opening monologue that she did the last time she hosted SNL. The skit involved Amy Poehler playing Lindsay from 5 years in the future, and she was a washed up wreck if she didn't change her ways. Sounds to me like we got a glimpse of the real future there.

1584 days ago
83.

mm    

How important does she think she is? To believe that the whole world is out to get her, by stealing her passport, her car, etc, etc. etc. She sounds like a 4 year old. "He stole my passport wah wah wah."

1584 days ago
84.

Cheryl A.    

I'm going to stick my neck out here and predict that she overdoses before court on Monday.

1584 days ago
85.

chicken227    

coke whore...karma will get her...

1584 days ago
86.

do not wanna reveal    

Here is an update on this from TMZ: They now say that Lindsay was "stranded" on the yacht because "a friend took off in her car and left her there." You know, I love Lindsay. I think she is a great actress and I do love her movies, but this is getting so ridiculous. She is blaming everyone under the sun for why she's not in compliance with the court. She blamed everyone, and now this is the most ridiculous excuse. I cannot imagine why she would not go back to L.A. and try to get in some more classes before Monday's court hearing. She says that she wants a private jet to take her home but she can't get one, I'm beginning to wonder if she'll come home in time for the court hearing. I mean, seriously. If she was really taking this seriously, than she would be getting on whatever flight was available. Get first class or something, but do not blow off your court hearing. You know, if she does miss Monday's court hearing, then, if I was the judge, I would issue a no bond arrest warrant. Have someone arrest her in France and escort her back to L.A. I hope she makes it to Monday's court hearing, but who knows.



1584 days ago
87.

electriczipper    

92. I'll bet that guy has a smegma-filled foreskin that penetrated the Lohan cooch. I'm also willing to bet that Lohan is going to fail to clean it out of said cooch. Therefore, Lohan is adding fuel to the fire in her infected vagina.



Posted at 8:30 AM on May 21, 2010 by Mark



------------
dude instead of being so worried about lindseys issues you better address your own,,I hope you dont live close to any elementry schools.you have problems of a sexual nature that really need to be addressed..hope you seek help before you end up on nancy grace show

1584 days ago
88.

chicken227    

she's a coke whore.. she has no other thoughts then getting hammered..with drugs/alcohol/and ****... real or fake...

1584 days ago
89.

joeygirl45    

Everyone already knows that absolutely nothing is going to happen to her when she returns... she knows it too that's why she could care less. I have lost all respect for the Judge Revel. She is not a woman of her word and she is a liar just like Lohan. This POS is just disgusting now. I won't waste my money to watch this waste of space in anything. I'm joining the Death Watch 2010 cuz if her and her parents don't give a sh*t, why should we. She is a pathetic laughing stock and she is the only one who doesn't get it. LOSER LOHAN!

1584 days ago
90.

Mike    

I'M ON A BOAT, A MUTHA$$%$# BOAT! LOL!!!!!!! Oh this is too rich.

1584 days ago
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